fresh parsley

2012-01-19T11:28:00.000-05:00

Dear: run-on sentences and vague references,

We've been spending a lot of time together lately, and I think it's time we broke up.

update

2012-01-14T23:46:00.002-05:00

Cam was very tasty, a little stringy- but he was a different breed than the type I've bought in the stores all my life... that, and he was 27 weeks old- verses the 8 weeks factory chickens live out.

Picked up my two new little hens today- I think I picked up the wrong two! I was suppose to get one splash, and one blue, but ended up with two blue. I think the other lady who was part of our "chicken carpool" was suppose to get two blues.

I was too excited to even think about it when I picked them up... maybe I'll be going for a drive in the morning.

it's -24 out right now.... everyone is tucked snugly into a cardboard box with a blanket over them for protection... the boxes are actually quite warm, I stuck my hand into cheeper's box- I could feel heat in the box. very neat.

which came first?

2012-01-13T19:58:00.004-05:00

The fact that I ate my first home grown egg on the same day I processed my first home grown chicken isn't lost on me. This strange life cycle condensed. Cycles.

Yesterday Cheep laid her first egg. So this morning, I fried it up and had it on a home made english muffin.

Tonight I (humanly and calmly) killed my other chicken, sliced up onions and carrots and potatoes and put them all together in a pot for tomorrow's supper.

While the act of taking a life was difficult, looking at the cycles and systems inside Cam (previously known as Camilla until he started to crow) was such an amazing thing.

I could do it again.

I learned a lot, Cam was patient, and he'll be enjoyed.

'ello

2012-01-11T11:44:00.001-05:00

oh geeze.

the chicken bug has me bad.

I just watched this trailer and at the 2:00 mark nearly peed myself laughing.

eeeewwww

2012-01-07T23:51:00.002-05:00

so, I've realized in the past year... that the number of social networking sites I'm involved in has tripled.

if not more.

and, I realized that a number of sites that I've used over the past few years that were NOT social networking sites... have changed their focus and become SNS.

this isn't a huge problem, except for the fact that in that space of time, they've been bought up, or consolidated with the big online players... and now I've got something like 4 different google related accounts, 3 yahoo (which are connected to google), and a few other oddballs.

where's the problem?

well, now that they're all connected- I have to sign out of one to get into the other.

where's the problem?

I can't figure out which sign in goes with which password.

And some of the accounts are so old, that I can't change the password without access to the email account they are attached too... except that, there isn't an email account, because some older accounts were grandfathered in....

what?

for example... my flickr account.

now run by Yahoo... is not attached to a yahoo email. my yahoo email was a work account back in the day, and back in the day, I just signed in using my user name.... BUT, it thinks it's being smart by finding my username (my legal name) attached to that old defunct email account (that email was closed as I no longer work for that org- and I never attached the flickr account to the email address), and insisting that my flickr user name (from before it became a yahoo account) can't be changed without use of the yahoo account...

oh my, it makes my head spin.

that, and I have to sign out of gmail in order to use my youtube account, because my youtube account is attached to a different email provider. I'm sure there's a way to change these things...

I'm just annoyed that I have to... and that I have to spend time looking up how to do it.

because I honestly can't keep all these accounts straight anymore.

this wasn't what I was going to blog about tonight. I was going to write about "super size me" and my flu bug.

but when I was signing in, I realized that my account for blogger was the same as my youtube account info.. but that the two weren't related (yet)

knitwit

2012-01-04T23:00:00.005-05:00

I forced my friends into joining me for trivia night at the pub.
That was 8 (trivia) weeks ago. While we lost the first game, we've come in second or first nearly every night since. We're good.
really good.

well, let's be honest.... I answer maybe two questions each night.

I'm there to knit.

In the pub, knitting. It's the only night the lights are bright enough in there to knit.
Let's face it, one can only drink so much coffee or tea in a week, a gal needs her pint with her needles!

this was NOT a pub project. my first lace piece. I had to be able to count and read the pattern for each line- pub knitting is for plain socks.

Did I mention our team is named the "knitwits"?

wheels

2012-01-03T11:14:00.003-05:00

I didn't bother to write about the changes that have happened in my place of work this year.

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Thank you Thumper.

However, some big changes of my own design are about to happen starting next week, so a quick recap is in order!

-I worked full time for organization A

-decided I wanted to buy a house, so started working full time for organization B also

-bought the hobbit house, left B.

-A moved my job to a different town

-I've found a new program within A to switch to, bringing me back to work in the 'Burg

Pluses to the new program?

- Working with an amazing team of people

-supporting a very interesting situation

-bike distance to work. (I can retire that car which no-one wants to steal)

-I can sleep in my own bed every night

-I'll get more than 5 hours of sleep

Minuses?

- A cut in salary

-further bike distance to work than what I had before I was moved out of town

-hours that seem to be all over the map.

What does this all mean?

-I'll be more fun to be with because I'll like my job so much more

-my body will like me

-I have to give up a number of the activities that bring me joy due to my work schedule....

I worry the two may cancel each other out at first.

New year, new things.

goal 175

2012-01-01T01:21:00.003-05:00

I wonder if I give up.. or cut back... on facebook, if that will increase my likelihood of blogging.
Blogging came first, it was my reaching out "being alone together" before FB came along and made us all alone together.

I have one goal this year... 175.
posts.
in the blog.
that's not too much to ask for right?

While I do have the tumblr account still on the go- I'd like to look at writing again.
I need to be creative somewhere.

rolls around again

2011-12-19T01:08:00.002-05:00

the year is nearly at a close- and my only resolution was to write more.
oops.

Tonight I remembered a conversation with an old friend- watching "10 things I hate about you" on the bed in my dorm room.

"that's a move you need to learn"

I still haven't.

Maybe that'll be this year's resolution.

speedy

2011-11-30T10:23:00.002-05:00

I'm going to have to build a half door to the back room.
Pontouff Pony moved in a week ago, and while I trust the dog not to eat him... I don't trust her not to eat his food, or whatever might be in the litter box.

"Try a baby gate" you say?

20lbs of bunny can still fling himself over the gate.

last bunny post for a bit... honest.

oh right.

2011-04-26T11:28:00.001-04:00

due to an infatuation with my tumblr... I'm taking a blog break... otherwise I'm not going to accomplish anything ever again....

damn you interwebs.

Blue Boxing

2011-02-28T23:31:00.001-05:00

We've got this really really great second hand store in town. In fact, a whole street made up of second hand stores.

There's nothing better than a sunny morning with friends, cruising "the sales" after brunch.

weekday wake ups

2011-02-24T08:43:00.003-05:00

Each morning the tone for the day can be set with the most subtle of cues. If I greet the tall one first- before he greets me, it generally doesn't end well.
If I'm patient and don't even look at him till he says something to me, I know the day will be ok.

This morning in the group home I walked passed him and I was greeted with a "good morning Knucklehead". This is nearly as loving as it gets from him. Some times I get "hot sausage" or "vanity fair" (don't ask) on a good day... more often than not I'm showered with swearing.

This morning I turned to him and asked "how do I get rid of my title of Knucklehead?"

Without missing a beat he responded "stop working here".

yup.

steamed

2011-02-22T22:28:00.002-05:00

I missed my hot tub while I was away... I know, I know, there was one at the condo- but it wasn't mine. it was filled with the DNA of strangers. And.. it was hot. too hot. way too hot.

So, I've been in mine every day since I got home- today I shocked the heck out of it, it had been running low on the chemicals, and though I hate chemicals... it needed to be done, or it was going to be in the "gross DNA" range.

I forgot I shocked it until I had the cover off- but, standing with one foot hovering over the tub with little on in the freezing cold... I jumped in anyway.

I don't think I have fingerprints any more.

monday bunday

2011-02-21T23:19:00.003-05:00

while my own lagomorphs were terrorizing TLS in my absence, I found this little critter on the beach.

hold please

2011-02-17T09:50:00.001-05:00

Parsleyseasonings will return after this vacation.....
thank you.

Found poetry

2011-02-12T10:52:00.003-05:00

I get lost in the moments of movies from my childhood.
Honey, I wish you'd shrunk me. too.
Wandering the giant forests of my backyard lawn
a feathery parasol shading me
a gift from the dandelion
I forgot to weed.
and my rabbit unshrunk, would offer me a ride
and I'd fall asleep in that small between his shoulder blades
where his hair is like silk
content

I was cleaning out a dresser yesterday and found this...
At first I thought it was a leftover from a "Sunday Supper" experiment, then I remembered it was from a poetry workshop/show with Tanya last spring.fall?

Rumours of funtimes and house concerts are floating... can I hear an Amen?

not so lost

2011-02-11T17:21:00.003-05:00

Keys have been found.

They managed to find a home in my wool stash... good thing I was digging in the wool today!

I just loved the way snow has been clinging to the bricks at the back of the house- the far side has sprouted a mane of icicles too...

almonds - clowns

2011-02-11T14:03:00.000-05:00

person 1 enters the room. On the floor, a table on it's side Two shoes are hanging from it by their heels. Nearby, there is a single glove, three clothes pegs and a container of almonds laying in a row on the floor. Ideas of entertainment float into focus.

Person 1 is encouraged instead to be in the space. Not to judge the items before they've been encountered. P1 is annoyed, the idea of turned up noses to old shoes is funny! A script is being formed- but P1 allows the idea to be discarded and walks to the objects to investigate.

It's painful for a few seconds. Just viewing the items. trying not to formulate. Touching them, but not trying to force an idea on the way things "should" unfold. Finally... long moments later... the glove is picked up, and pinned to the wall. P1 stares at it, shrugs, and starts to eat out of the container of almonds. P1 pauses and throws an almond at the glove, it hits the glove and falls to the floor. P1 allows a small smile to escape, and placing the container of almonds on the floor, begins to play a basketball-like game with the almonds and the glove. Each shot is missed.

P2 enters the room, and watches. Slowly P2 approaches the game. P1 has missed every shot, but doesn't seem frustrated. P2 asks what P1 is playing, and if they can play too.

P1: CATCH! throws the almond
P2: I'll try! catches easily and tosses it back to P1

the almond is thrown back and forth, till P1 takes the almond and pretends to slam dunk it into the glove... P1 goes for the dunk, and with the other hand, opens the glove up wide and places the almond inside.

P1: TOUCHDOWNS!

P2: again!

P1: tosses the almond, catches, and pumps her fists in the air... we're really good. Champions!

We could win a trophy!

p2: how would you look if you won a trophy?

P1: places hands on hips and sticks out their chest, head held high.

How would you look?

P2: strikes a pose. Here, let me try! Pass it to me!

the almond is tossed back and forth, P2 goes for the shot... and misses. The almond falls, P2 falls, and the almond breaks.

P2: I didn't do it. It broke. I never win ANYTHING!

P1: This is really sad. We're not going to get the trophy. I've never really won anything before. I wanted a trophy..... Have.. you ever won anything?

P2: gets up off the floor I don't remember it, but I was told I won "cutest baby"

P1: cutest baby doesn't count.

P2: crestfallen. I don't think I've won anything then.

P1: That's ok. moments pass What if we pretended we won? and it was like the Olympics? and we got up at the podium, and they all clapped for us? It would be like winning? Here, we can step up on to the podium and pretend.. we can sing the national anthem!

P1 steps onto an imaginary podium and begins to bow.

P2: I don't think I can do it....

P1: yes you can, here, I'll hold your hand!

P1 drags P2 onto the podium. P2 has P1 in a death grip.

P2: hisses quietly ... I'm scared!

P1: It's ok, you don't have to be scared. I'm holding your hand.

P2: I don't think I can do it.

P1: want to know something that works for me? Just look out at the people and pretend they're all naked.

P2: looking straight at P1 Ok....

P1 and P2 slowly look away from eachother, look out at the audience, their eyes growing wide.. and start laughing....(after a beat the audience realizes that the laughter really is directed at them.... ) they begin to walk off the stage, P1 offers more advice for bravery as they walk....

**post script**
unfortunately, the txt here will never ever capture the moment.
the pauses, the gestures, the fear and joy on the faces of the clowns... the painful moments of discomfort waiting for things to be reviled. .. honestly discovered on the fly.

after the "cutest baby doesn't count" line, and up till the "pretend they're naked" line, things are a little guesstimated... there was a little too much laughing to keep it all straight.

One of my proudest moments was when the next group and the instructor made a comment about how difficult it would be to follow us. It felt so good after a frustrating morning of trying hard not to allow myself to "script" what I thought would be funny.

icey

2011-02-09T20:53:00.002-05:00

I don't drive often.
I last used my car on Saturday night.

And now?
I can't find my keys. I know I had them at work with me on Monday morning and that they were in my coat pocket at least until I finished shoveling the driveway (again).

And... tonight when I did need my car, my car was frozen to the ground.
Yup, that's right- the mild weather on Monday made a puddle of slush around my tires... and the minus 10 to minus 20 celcius of the past two days locked some of my tires to the ground.

Thankfully, I own a shovel,
and I know how to rock my car out of a space... it took me a good 10 minutes, but I got out.
(The neighbourhood smelled like burning for awhile there)

noon

2011-02-09T08:49:00.003-05:00

I think... that if it's 12pm EST any weekday and you're reading this post...
that you're on the wrong website.
If it's 12pm EST you SHOULD be here...

Roots Music Canada

watching interwebs history in the making, and (if it's still Wednesday Feb 9th when you're reading this) enjoying the launch of The Woodshed Sessions!

Riveting.

2011-02-08T13:28:00.001-05:00

So, until the day my old landlord 'fesses up and produces my missing snowshoes, I'll always have 4 Algonquin style shoe-shaped holes in my heart.

To help to mend this broken heart of mine, sweet Naynay has offered me a pair of his- he was recently gifted three pairs from his inlaws. I offered to purchase a pair, he offered to give a pair to me! How exciting! I pledge to give away a pair if and when my missing pairs make their way home to me.

There's a small catch.

They are bindingless. Having just experienced the joy of well fitting bindings for the first time this winter (on a borrowed pair)- I plan on purchasing new bindings for the newcomers. (side note: I'm going to need to name these snowshoes) I spent so much of my life stepping out of my Sshoes, now that I know how good it feels to be free of that fear (of winding up hip deep one-legged) I'm not going back to jury rigged bindings.

In effort to support the downtown establishments, I went with Bethsheff to both shops that offer snowshoes to see if they had a lead on bindings. The first place was helpful. "No, we don't carry them, but if you purchase them- we'll include them in our next shipment so your shipping costs are lower". This was a kind offer. I did find some bindings online, but the Canadian company that offers them charges more for shipping than the item costs.

The second shop was lovely, but... um.

B: do you sell snowshoe bindings?
S: no, I've never even seen them in the catalogue as an option
M: I've seen them offered online
S: do you have a rivet gun? They are attached with rivets.
M: uh, the ones I was looking at laced on, it was like sewing.
S: They make them with rivets.
M: Hmmmmm.... I guess I'd have to figure something out....
thanks...

(outside)
M: All I can picture is how important the Hudson Bay company must have been with their rivet makers....
B: all those Native peoples, building their deer gut snowshoes, bending and shaping wood for generations, waiting for the white man to bring the rivet gun?

Monday Bunday

2011-02-07T19:57:00.003-05:00

This picture is from last year- 'Touff stealing little Fynn's litter box at the old house. I can't remember where I put my card reader to retrieve my photos from this week. I'll find it.
Also missing is that great pirate shirt. I can't remember if I gave it to someone? I think it might fit Jelly, it was a little too small for 'Touff.

broken

2011-02-07T19:29:00.002-05:00

Poem 8

In a place called Somewhere
There lived happiness
Somewhere was a place of Paradise
But one day from Nowhere
Came Sorrow to the place called Somewhere
Happiness asked Sorrow to leave
The place called Somewhere
Sorrow went back to Nowhere
And then occupied the hearts of people
Who are kind and compassionate
As they never refused anybody a place to stay
So if you feel the pain
Which a person who has lost his mind bears
If your heart aches when you see a tear in someone's eyes
If you are ready to accept such a person and help him
You can be sure
That you have sheltered sorrow in your heart.

-Rajarshi Mukhopadhyay (Tito)

A few years ago I posted about "The Mind Tree" ... go. find it.

red nose, red faced.

2011-02-07T09:06:00.002-05:00

A weekend debrief is in motion... half written. It's a long one, and I've cut a ton...

but, quick recap:: early morning start, clowning adventures, hot water sipping with the Pagepage peeps, dinner at my favourite, (sopa azteca, with a guest appearance of sweet Chief Julio!) with my favourites. more snow than snowmageddon. shoveling. knitting. breakfasting with the rats. knitting. superb owl dinner with the rats (in deference to the super bowl, and a nod to wilw's tweet). oh, and more shoveling.

just one of those normal weekends... ya know?

red noseing it.

2011-02-04T22:52:00.002-05:00

Sometimes, it's good to figure out who you are inside.
And sometimes to do that, you have to turn the insides outside....

So, tomorrow I'm going to a clowning course.

That seems like a really good idea.

**and if anyone has $400 they'd like to give me, there's a week long course coming up that I'd love to attend.

roadtrips with Persia

2011-02-03T22:13:00.004-05:00

I just spent a lovely day in the city visiting some of the favourites, and catching up with some old friends... it was so good to see those faces.

I feel like each part of the day was it's own day... too many stories jumbling together, starting with Muffins in Farsi and ending with a tiny smiling elf playing the drums beside spinning speakers.
no.
really.

-yogurt and sitars
-roomie visit (how to get lost in the mall)
-catching up
-Roots Music Canada's woodshed
-polka roo debunked
-knitting in the pub with (the) rats
-"I was a smoker dating a smoker" ... "how'd you like to date another smoker?"...."admit it, that was really funny".
-the Nylons (baby, are you busy tonight?)
-dinner and music a la Cleave Anderson and John T. Davis

knit one slip purlside... knit... slip. slip. slip. slip.

2011-02-02T09:19:00.009-05:00

Hi, my name is Bess... and I have a sock knitting addiction.

I know.

I know....
It's a nasty habit.
Ignoring housework.
Ignoring the phone.
All those fibres. Needles. Scissors. More needles...

Just laying... around the house everywhere.
Where ANY ONE could find them!
I know.
And I tell myself each time... this is the last sock....
I promise.

And then...
I open the cupboard.
or
I walk into the shop.
I see something soft and fine, in a cool or even a warm tone.
Self striping maybe.
Mixed fibres, wool, alpaca, angora... cotton, bamboo, hemp..... my blood races from my heart to my hands, from my hands to my heart to my head as I .
just.
reach.
out.
and.
touch.

cave....

purchase....

nested, under an old afghan... corner of the couch, snowflakes blowing past my window...
slip knit slip knit slip.

counting beans

2011-02-01T22:01:00.003-05:00

I'm still a bit of a stats whore.
I got excited today when I looked at the sidebar stat counter and realized guest number 1600 had come and gone...

then I remembered that it was the "new" stat counter, reset after moving the blog to the newer format two years ago... I'm actually nearer to 30,000 guests.... and even that count doesn't take into account the first two and a half years of the blog.

um.
really.
this is dorky excitement.

hold still

2011-02-01T09:00:00.002-05:00

If that dog wouldn't breathe so much, she'd be a great music stand/ foot stool.

Monday Bunday

2011-01-31T08:20:00.000-05:00

Jelly is banished to the far side of the baby gate. A fair trade- usually 'Touff is behind bars...

Once the littlest girly started playing on the floor, we realized she and Pontouff were about the same (body) sized. eek!

*pay no attention to the pile of empties in the background!! I've been saving them for a bottle drive since July.... If they don't get picked up on this next round, I'm going to have to make the (shameful) trip to the beer store to return all the bottles. Actually... pay no attention to that back room... it's last on the list of repairs in the house- it's the old kitchen- currently the mud room/storage and junk catch-all.

Brunch. 2nd breakfast

2011-01-30T22:12:00.002-05:00

I hosted "family brunch" this morning.... I first started to blog this morning before breakfast, but decided that the "it's about to happen" story wasn't as lovely as the "it just happened" story.

While I didn't have any blood family relatives over, I had the next best thing with some of the favourites joining in the pot luck meal. Brunch as a pot luck is likely the best thing ever. You can bring anything and it'll fit. Eggs and jube jubes? why not? Sausages and pie? sure! go ahead! Crumpets and fruit and hashbrowns and cheese balanced the meal out just perfectly.

Much laughter happened at the table, and conversation ranged from festival frustration and celebration, to faith, babies, jobs and literature.

"I brought you a book, you said you needed ideas for things to read"... Bob hands me a ragged coverless binding of pages. Dog eared doesn't even cover it. "It's ok if that one gets beat up a little, I've got another copy at home. But you have to read this one before I lend you the next one."

Once our stomachs were filled, we moved to the living room... instruments were tuned... more laughter... Two ukes, guitar, mando, and an autoharp... a request- Rolling Stone, and then "Fat Bottomed Girls"... A rockabilly Sunday.

walking on water.

2011-01-29T14:24:00.010-05:00

as promised, a few shots from the other day....

Photo credits: Rae

favourites

2011-01-29T09:03:00.000-05:00

My favourite hobbits came home last night, which is lovely... but it meant their house sitter had to go back home. *sigh*

Since the hobbits were settling back into their schedule, and everyone else seemed to be doing other things... I found myself with no choice.

I put on an audio book, I opened a can of Rekorderlig (red berry), and I took down the Christmas tree.

The house looks funny now. And I miss the twinkle lights lighting... I may have to buy one of those paper lamps and fill it with twinkles... just for the glow.

based on actual events

2011-01-27T23:53:00.004-05:00

The following is partly word for word, partly "close enough".
I'll let you figure out which part is which.

R: What about "x"?

M: put him on the list.

R: what about "y", would you date him?

M: (hesitantly) uh

R: why not?

M: I wouldn't say no if he asked me out.

R: That's all I wanted to hear.... I don't know if you've noticed, I'm not putting my all into this. I've got a vested interest in you staying single. Otherwise I have to share you. I think maybe we should just buy you a vibrator and forget about finding you a husband so we can hang out whenever I want".

M: *eye roll*

up and down the dunes

2011-01-26T23:00:00.004-05:00

I went snow shoeing for the first time in years today,

and now my muscles and ligaments are trying to get along.

Rae and I walked down to the beach and pretended we were explorers from another land- the land did seem alien to us- the addition of french accents and poor grammar completed the scene. I hadn't been down to the beach in about a month... seriously, who lives just a few blocks from the beach and doesn't go everyday? I need to change that- except for the cold. The cold has been the best reason EVER to avoid going.

The ice has been churning up against the shore, building. Creating false cliffs out in the water... well beyond the actual shore. There's a miniature ice burg locked in the corner of the breakwater to the harbour- the groans and sighs of the water heaving in and out of it's cracks sound haunted. A few times I stopped just to listen. Silence. Water birds. Slushy sloppy ice further out, the waves carrying it, mixing it.

We walked the dunes on the beach, climbed up on the breakwater, skirted the harbour. Chased some birds, wrote love letters to hobbits in the snow, and forged a trail to the bakery for warm bread and cookies.

Can we just revisit that comment about the bad french accents?
Photos to follow... eventually.

I turned the heat back up in the hot tub this morning before we set out.
Best thought ever.

make the most of it

2011-01-25T18:14:00.002-05:00

A toast!
To my favourite toast.
Growing up, somehow, my mom could time the bread just right- so it was coming out of the oven as we walked in the door. The smell would drive me crazy, and waiting till it had cooled just enough that she could cut off thick slices, and slather them in butter- left me drooling and hanging over the counter in the kitchen.

Sometimes I try to recreate those smells. I don't eat much bread usually... and the bread I do eat- I treat myself to from the Millstone Bakery in town... mmmmm. I really need to learn how to make just one loaf.

This is my favourite bread, a Finnish Coffee Loaf that our family just called "Sugar Bread" growing up.... it makes the sweetest toast... I can't wait till morning!

Monday Bunday

2011-01-24T08:45:00.004-05:00

Please, step into the time machine with me... we're going to go back to the future and remember when the buns were but tiny sweet faces.... and had never caused a problem ever.

I love these pictures... I wish I'd had the foresight to take a picture of each of them in a similar pose, or with the same objects around them to compare their sizes... Both of them are at 5.5 weeks here... the difference being, Fynn fit in the palm of my hand... and Pontouff was the same length as a full-grown Fynn!

bright white

2011-01-23T13:20:00.006-05:00

The snow is blinding today.
After a week of clouds, the sun glares off of every surface.
It's painful and beautiful.
Minus 22 degrees Celsius ... wind warning of -40.
*shudder*

Last night I was headed to Hugh's Room to attend the 9th annual Lightfoot Tribute concert...
I haven't been to one since... the 4th? Maybe it was the 3rd?
Either way, I was really really looking forward to it- An evening of great music, then time spent with some of my favourite people... A night in the city.

By the time I left my house yesterday, it has been snowing softly for about an hour... just an inch of snow sat on the ground, I gave the driveway and sidewalks a quick swipe, then set off across town to the highway... By the time I got on the onramp though, I'd decided it wasn't worth it. The storm had picked up.... I'm no stranger to snowstorm driving. I'm willing to push through a little blizzard to get where I'm going... but as I pushed through the drift of snow on the on ramp, and struggled with the poorest of poor visability... I knew my day to turn around had come.
The 401 was down to a single lane- the others covered in snow... and I went through an actual snowbank to get off the highway when I reached the Port Town.

The family home is still there*, so I pulled up to the house to make some calls to let people know the change of plans. (I called from my cell in the driveway) In the time it took to make two quick calls and send two text messages, I had to get back out of the car and wipe the snow off.

Joy in the evening? Yup, After I turned back: Had a great dinner with friends, read a sweet little book, visited with an old friend while shoveling, felt pretty (as I got myself all sassed up for the show).

*I may have snuck in the house and discovered a lonely Kala low G solid body Tenor, which I may or may not have rescued .... Don't worry dad, I'll return it when you get home in May.

Peace Joy and Love

2011-01-22T13:38:00.002-05:00

I'm sitting on the couch a little teary eyed.
I just got off the phone with a friend who just told me about some sad news in her life... That's not the reason for the tears. She said that she looks to me as an example of happiness.
And she wants to get together to talk about what it means to be happy.
So, I'm touched.
And scared.
It feels really big.

In high school and university I spent time doing a study on joy. I took a course through a church, went to bible studies, I met with two other girls... and that is what we lived.... finding joy.

What did I learn?

Two things.

That joy is a choice: In everything, I can choose to find joy. I may not always be happy, but there will always be something to find joy in.

And that when you love, it's easier to find peace in things, simpler to find the joy.

-found joy today in: my leftover homemade hamburger for lunch, in the memories of canning day- brought by the homemade ketchup. Watching the snow fall from the comfort of my couch. The knowledge that I am learning and making music. The colour of my favourite kitchen chair. The way my computer always thinks I've spelled "colour" and "favourite" wrong. The expectation in waiting for this evening's concert, and the people that I'll get to see. Making a coffee date with a friend.

soggy cuffs

2011-01-21T09:47:00.003-05:00

My plan today is to go downtown and buy a calendar, sit in the Bean, knit, or maybe Uke.
Jenny and I used to sit in there and play our Ukes all the time... since it's changed owners we haven't. We decided the other night that it might be time to break the new guy in.

It's still snowing.
It's been snowing for forever.
all my photos from the past few weeks are dark from the covering of ever present clouds...

I spent the day in the Port earlier in the week- the river was making angry noises under the ice.

This morning there was much shoveling to be done at work

And then some more when I got home!

what about you

2011-01-20T16:38:00.005-05:00

Two nights in a row of Uke time.

my fingers, sore from the use.

"Margarita Ville" is on the radio... it was one of the pieces we shopped last night at the Corktown Jam... "shopping a piece" or running a bit of a workshop on a song, breaking it down into chunks and working thru the fiddly bits. I love that about the Corktown jam.
By the end of the "shop" we had the strummers and the pickers, new ideas for fingering, and a few new chords under our belts.

It's a pretty simple song when you break it down, but I think it was the thing I was most excited about this week... well, that and the alternate fingering for a D7 to a G for a quick transition to E7... and a fun run for Blood Sweat and Tears' "Spinning Wheel".

I need to upload some newer videos. Tonight at the pub The Writer said he'd come across my youtube channel... He had nice things to say- but mostly I was embarrassed because they're so old and pretty rough.
I actually had been watching one earlier today, and spent a large portion of the afternoon trying to figure out how to pick thru the song (my early version was just strummed)... I've nearly got it... I just want to replace one note... but I'm not sure with what... it's a D being played, but when I pick it out the strings are A D Gb A (which are correct) I just don't like the sound of the two A's being picked... I like the sound of the D going to the Eb and back (I'm actually picking the strings in a 23412342 pattern) but it clashes against the melody when I actually sing it... I'll just have to use that D Eb D Gb A for something else.

oh.
that got a little more techie than I intended.

maybe for that chord I could just play D Gb A Gb D Gb A D? I'll give it a try in the morning.

pout

2011-01-18T23:02:00.003-05:00

My dog has this amazing gift of being able to make me feel terrible.
I'm abandoning her.
I'm starving her.
She's freezing.
She's boiling to death.
I'm starving her.
I'm not paying enough attention.
I'm smothering her.
I'm starving her.
Honestly, she acts like I've never fed her in her life.

Today I left the house to head out for an oil change for my car (so.so.so.so.so.so overdue.) I left a little early as I had to stop at a friend's place to let her dog out... Miss Jelly pouted, I'd only JUST gotten home from work long enough to feed her and let her out. But I knew I'd be back in an hour to play with her..... 6 hours later I got home.
Turns out I needed a new muffler.
Home just long enough to let her out and grab a few Ukuleles before running to NUkeO.
Home from NUkeO (and it's obligations) and off to work again.
Poor dog.
so hard done by. *

(I promise to stop blogging about my dog so much)

*Portrait of a cold pooch in the car on the way home from the cottage

Monday Bunday

2011-01-17T22:32:00.002-05:00

I nearly forgot it was monday.....

Fynn Pants sometimes like to dig in his litter box.
I'm still waiting for him to learn how to use a broom.

jet outta here.

2011-01-15T23:15:00.006-05:00

I'm going to be headed to my dad's place down in Florida in a little less than a month. I'm pretty excited to sit and watch the dolphins while I drink my morning coffee... walk the beach for hours....

While I'm gone TLS will be house sitting the buns and the pooch (and the hot tub)... I'm glad. The pooch doesn't hold too too much disdain for him. In fact, she's even been known to sniff him... and even ignore him knocking at the door (I know! shocker right? the dog who barks at everything that sounds like a door knock). The buns will disapprove of anyone, and so long as they're fed and loved a little, they'll tolerate him.

My worry is not that TLS will lock himself out again and have to climb through the kitchen window, it is as with every trip- that my plane will crash and someone will have to go through all those random boxes in my basement and files in my dresser if I die. That worries me... so it's about this time that I start to go a little crazy purging.

Today I went down to the boxes to take a look at what I was up against... (and it's really not that bad, it's mostly boxes of books waiting for a book shelf - or eight) and I encountered a box of old journals. which of course I started reading. Then, I went back up stairs and started reading old blog posts.

I found one that made me laugh a little, and made me feel a little on edge remembering the woman in the story.

http://parsleyseasonings.blogspot.com/2006/06/shady-corner-of-street.html

However, in a strange turn of events, sketchy has become someone I know thru GTI... it changes everything when you get to know someone a little.

acting chops

2011-01-15T12:10:00.003-05:00

it wasn't really lying ... as much as just using my ability to hang part of a sentence in the air...

Last night driving thru little lawless gallery town, I passed a police cruiser. I wasn't speeding. My stickers are up to date on my plates. My lights are working. And yet, the cruiser pulled out and followed me to the house. I was parking on the side of the country road when he pulled up beside me.
I rolled down my window.

"Hello L.Bo"
uh, hello?

"I know your name... know how I know that?"
uh, I'm not sure...

"I ran your plates"
(at this point I'm trying to figure out what's going on, I squint thru the snowflakes to see if it's an officer I know, maybe one of the guys from high school, or one from work?)

"I ran your plates and you forgot to renew your license on your birthday"
But!! I renewed my stickers on my birthday.... *

"yes, but you also needed to renew your license"
They didn't mention that at the office....

"I just wanted to give you a heads up, if you were pulled over for anything, it'd be a $350 fine... have a good night, and don't forget to get your license on Monday"

oh.
ok....
thank you so much!**

*I actually noticed the other day, but forgot to go on Friday when they were open. I don't drive my car often enough to think of these things...

**at that point I ran in the house laughing to tell the story to the girls at the PJ party hosted by two of my favourite men.

hic.up.

2011-01-13T23:22:00.003-05:00

Growing up, in high school, I had chronic hicups. Not as bad as my friend Mandamanda, but bad enough that I got kicked out of my afternoon classes on a regular basis.

Years later, thru trial and error and watching my lifestyle, I discovered that it was a stress related thing (mostly). There are a few other triggers that are food related. Carroty things. I remember my mom saying that carrot sticks gave her hicups. Mostly it's carrot muffins or raw carrots for me.

I'm also a serious stereotype.

I just spent a lovely evening at the pub with some friends and I can't stop the hicups.

also- two things. I can't remember the first, but I'm sure it will come to me. Something about sea shanties.

The second- small town syndrome. I don't think I've ever seen our waitress from tonight- but in conversation she said something about knowing that I lived in the apartment over her boss a few years back. (yup, hanging at the crazy lady's pub)

GTI

2011-01-12T19:55:00.003-05:00

Spent some time today at the Motel.
I know I haven't written too much about it in a number of months. But things are... good.
There have been some huge changes.

HUGE

And, sometimes.. I see these little glimpses of change that leave me breathless.

Like today, there's a father and son that come for dinner. Dad lives at the motel, his son (near to my age, maybe a little younger?) rents a place nearby. They both come early for dinner. Hours early, and spend the time joking around with whom ever else happens to be there.
I'm mocked.
A lot.

Dad's had some really great news about a pension, he's going to be able to move out- but first, until he moves along on the list for geared-to-income housing, he's signed up for one of the new rooms at GTI.

This is big.

Even bigger is that he talks about "that guy who used to live in [his] room. That guy punched all the plaster out of the walls", drank for days on end, hardly ever left his room, who had anger in his eyes all the time... people were scared of him.

That guy is history.

Today he had so much joy in his face that I could barely breathe watching him.
He's beautiful.

Auditions

2011-01-11T11:09:00.001-05:00

As promised, a little run-down of the auditions from a few weeks ago.
'umberland Players are putting on "the 25th annual putnam county spelling bee". Long name, great little show.

It's a show of just leads. There's no chorus backing them up, so I was quite hesitant to try out. But,like I mentioned a while ago, I was encouraged by someone who said a few times "my dream cast includes you, x, y, and z". In conversation with this person, they talked about the show and how "we'd" be doing it, what "our" set was going to look like... and a few other comments that made me feel like it was in the bag. So, yes, I was pretty hurt when I didn't get the part.

BUT. That comes from my biggest weakness.
My greatest strength.
Something that I still need to learn to control.

The best people were chosen for the parts based on their ability to excel in the audition process.

I don't know if I have the vocabulary to describe this fully, I've touched on it before.... and it's long, so feel free to skip it.

I have, since I was about 16, been blessed with the fantastic ability to hear harmony. Music in a whole sense. There's a physical sensation that I feel when I hear music- some people say they sense numbers in colour, people refer to seeing something and nearly being able to taste the vision, I have a physical sensation when I hear music. It happens mostly in my throat and neck- but when a "complete" piece of music is heard, I feel it down into my chest. A squeeze and release that follows the shape of the notes, and the sense that there are two portions in me, one leaning against the other in sound, pushing for a balance, and when the balance is reached, it's a tight feeling, nearly painful in it's perfection.
I used to joke that I had "harmony-itis", and the only way I could explain what was happening in me was that I only heard the harmony... but, when I take it apart, note by note... I hear the melody in my ears and my head, and my brain turns my response into the right "lean" to create a balance. When I sing a harmony, unless it's one I've learned by repetition... I don't know what I'm singing... I couldn't sing it back to you without the melody because it doesn't exist in my mind. A physical response to "fill out" the sound.

ug. I just read what I wrote and it sounds so stupid!
Why aren't we given the vocabulary for these sort of things?

So, to learn a melody takes me a little time.
I have to force myself to step away from the music, and learn the physical characteristics of the tune. If you listen carefully to me stumbling thru a new piece of music, you'll notice I'm breaking into the harmony to what I'm suppose to be learning in the most random of spots.

Trust me.
it's annoying.

In an audition, in a call back, you're asked to learn a few pieces of new songs and sing them solo. I'm just not quick enough on the draw to learn the melody and sing it confidently.

So, the strongest person gets the part. That's the way it should be.

Someday, I'll develop what I've got. Or I'll find a use for it beyond singing around a campfire.

Monday Bunday

2011-01-10T17:06:00.002-05:00

an oldie but a goodie....
I didn't have my camera out with the buns this week, so here's the dearly missed Norton Pee Bunny....

Fallin' fallin' fallin'

2011-01-07T10:41:00.002-05:00

Three days ago we were hit by some snow.
The plow didn't bother to do our street till yesterday... which.. made it kinda slippery, and difficult to plow at all.

Last night we had a pretty great snow fall, so good that people were going door to door offering to shovel! In the past hour, the plow has driven up and down the street 6 times.

I'm headed to the cottage with the girls for the weekend (and JellyDog- the buns have a friend checking in on them) Technology free weekend, here I come!
(Unless I buy that new phone to replace the one I lost last month...)

update: Monday Bunday

2011-01-06T12:20:00.003-05:00

Hold on to your whiskers, it's been a long time coming.

Bunday Mondays will resume this coming week.

Until then, here's an old photo... (don't worry his nails have been trimmed since then!)

stabby.

2011-01-06T12:05:00.003-05:00

I work in a group home- I'm paid to sleep there....

Last night as I climbed into my bed, I was stabbed twice.
Not by any of the residents, but by the darning needle I'd stuck in the collar of my shirt at some point in the evening, and then by the cable needle I'd left in my pony tail.

oops.

Photos tomorrow of the current project.

more squeak than crunch

2011-01-05T22:32:00.004-05:00

I'm on a bit of a house cleaning strike.
Which, doesn't really make sense, as I'm the only person who lives there full time.
Maybe tomorrow?
I just feel... blah.
I can't be bothered to get dressed. I just want to sit in my PJs and knit.
One good thing, I've been forcing myself to leave the house during the day ... uh, to go knit... at the Bean.
*insert eyeroll at myself*
I'm going to need a winter hobby that forces me to be social, and that doesn't include sitting by myself in the coffee shop drinking cup after cup of tea.

Tonight at GTI, lovely S and I were allowing ourselves to get a little silly. I think it helps. The space can be so dreary, people's situations so difficult... Anyway, after tearing down the Christmas tree we decided to head over to the grocery store to pick up cream and sugar for the coffee table. Neither of us is very good at reining ourselves back in from being silly- and S has fewer filters than I have. We rounded a corner in the store and walked up behind a man with the most lovely ass ever. What does S do? Pretty near assaults the man! She reached forward and made motions as if grabbing his cheeks... just as a woman rounded the corner from the next aisle.... we die laughing on the spot and rush to pay for our purchases before lovely ass can even turn around.

A great night, even if the temperature is at squeak and not crunch.
Brrrrr. hotwater bottle time!

to clarify...

2011-01-04T22:35:00.003-05:00

I feel like today is as good a day as any to bring up my feelings about the cold. Mostly because I'm sitting in the basement at work shivering a little- waiting for the kettle to boil so I can fill my hotwater bottle.

I like the cold.

Please read that line again.

Note that it doesn't say "I like to be cold" or even "I like being cold".

I like the cold.
I like it because of what it forces. It forces me to take measures to become warm, to stay warm.
Sweaters, Scarves, Mittens... they make me smile.*
Hotwater bottles, like a warm hug wrapped in a felted sweater**
Slippers, blankets, toques***
Blankets, duvets, cuddling, spoons.
I like the cold.

*honestly... scarves? It like you've suddenly been given permission to carry a personal sized security blanket with you out in public!
**oh, maybe it's just my hotwater bottle wrapped in a felted sweater?
***sometimes I wear my toque in the hot tub.

How to do Christmas.

2011-01-03T09:39:00.006-05:00

hike

Skate

huddle

(pond campfire provided by the Sheffrats)

New year...

2011-01-02T00:26:00.002-05:00

two thoughts for today....

This morning I saw a neighbour washing his truck. A large white pick up truck. He was down on his hands and knees while he lovingly wiped the last traces of dirt from the shining hubcaps.

Tonight walking home from work I had the overwhelming urge to fling chocolate pudding all over it with a plastic spoon.

I didn't do it.
I just really wanted to.

Other thought: I wish that everyone I knew could take part in something like the event we had last night.
The 3rd annual collage (not college) party. New Years' eve brought in with a pile of arts... I don't think I can do it justice to talk about it. Just picture some of your favourite people in a room, a long playlist of your favourite (and new favourite) musicians. A table, heavy with slow cooked food. And the freedom to be. And the invitation to create.
yup.
it was a great way to start the year...

I'm not sure if this will work...

2011-01-01T11:39:00.004-05:00

Happy New Year!

(tappa tappa brought to you by the 3rd annual collage party '10/'11)

resolutions

2010-12-30T08:27:00.002-05:00

it's that time to start thinking about the coming year...

I generally make my year's resolutions on my birthday- as a matter of not wanting to fail, or not wanting others to see me fail. This year I forgot, so I'm in the same boat as everyone else, facing the new year with some new ideas and plans.

so, what are they going to be?

eat foods that are worth the calories. and enjoy them without guilt
play more music
write more music
play more of my music
find joy in all things
grow confidence, care less about what others think
blog
be more honest with myself and others
have more face to face time with people
pace myself.

sigh

2010-12-29T16:33:00.003-05:00

I'm not going to pretend I'm not disappointed.
Thanks to the wonders of facebook and it's uncanny ability to show me conversations I'm not interested in, and link the people I know... I know that I'm not likely in the show...

Two casted members talking an hour ago online -Practical reasoning says:that was at least an hour ago, and you didn't get a call yet, and the two that you know are cast are cast in a configuration that doesn't leave room for a role for you.

Next time I'll take it more lightly when the director says "my dream cast would include you, x, y, and z"

only "y" has a role.

unless my phone is broken.

Drawing near....

2010-12-22T18:52:00.002-05:00

What's that under the tree? Miss Jelly, her toys, some cookie tins waiting to be filled, 2 ukes and the autoharp. Pretty much picture perfect if you ask me.

really?

2010-12-21T09:04:00.003-05:00

I have no problem with hipsters. Heck, I think I try to be one. It's a funny thing.
"Evolution of a Hipster" kills me.
The generalities are great for a laugh. I heard a GREAT comedy podcast on the weekend using every stereotype about hipsters, the whole show was about a university radio station that only played songs so obscure no one had ever heard them before. I laughed HARD.

Anyway, last night I had an audition (more on that later) and there was a young girl there... she was dressed like she'd been cast for a role in an 80's music video... but then again, I came in pig-tails and graphic tee (the audition was for the role of an 8 year old).
I chatted with her a bit since she was new and didn't know anyone... but it was all I could do to keep a straight face when I asked her what her audition piece was. Her reply? "Oh, it's a song from the 90's, 'Blue Hair' you've never heard of it, it's my favourite and it's really obscure"
amazing

oh say

2010-12-19T09:24:00.000-05:00

so, I spent the afternoon in the studio the other day...

and now if you listen carefully, you might catch me singing some commercials on the radio.
ha!

Hard frost

2010-11-16T22:30:00.001-05:00

I'm waiting.
For the frost to come and take away allergies.

guh.

2010-11-03T00:04:00.002-04:00

Today I cut the party dress and put the beds to bed.

The gardening season is drawing to a close... Slowly we're finishing up with clients, each garden bed prepped for the long winter ahead. There's nothing there that makes me more sad than to cut down a plant that is still in bloom. Last week out at one of my favourite gardens, a giant anemone plant ("party dress" huge frilly pink and white blossoms) was in it's glory days. Thankfully, it was granted pardon- and this morning with just a few faded blooms left, I took 'er down.

I can't wait to start planning my gardens this winter.

I know one thing for sure.

There won't be any roses.

train time!

2010-10-14T09:04:00.003-04:00

yup.
packed up, headed out the door to OCFF!
www.ocff.ca
4 days and nights of music and conferencing- with festival organizers and those who want to play at our festivals.

sweeeeeeet.
packing two Ukuleles... I've heard rumor there's a little Uke get-together tonight that Hal's running!

who are we kidding? I'll just sing along.
*grin*

this old house.

2010-10-05T07:00:00.000-04:00

I really like old maps.... what I really love about this one is that my house is in it... hand drawn sometime between 1860 and 1869. LOVE this.

And here's my edited version... marking where I've lived for the past 7 years.... the crazy landlord's house was old enough to make it on the map... it was built 20 years later... but the tiny house on Ball St was there- along with it's twins (2 more identical houses on the street). The only sad realization.... it wasn't that the 'Burg had city planners with a sense of humour putting my intersection together... the corner of James Bond existed well before the movies....

Monday Bunday

2010-10-04T09:23:00.002-04:00

back, after far too long....

'Touf's behind bars while some yard work goes on :(

You don't get it.

2010-10-03T22:39:00.005-04:00

So, most of my peers (in the day to day) just tolerate my day to day oddities.
When I came to work glowing and blubbering excitedly about hanging out with one of my uke heros- they patiently waited till I got the stories out of my system before mocking me. (isn't that nice of them?)
I'm not sure how they're going to take all the details of my epic journey to Napanee for the scarecrow festival...

I remind them daily that I'm hired for my entertainment purposes and not my gardening skills.

ha.
Last week one of my coworkers replied "just don't let the clients know".

Miss Jelly is glad I'm back - now I can serenade her with her favourite song. (played here by lovely Rachel)

found dew drop 3

2010-10-03T22:24:00.000-04:00

::recovered from Digital Dewdrops, a writer's forum of sorts that I was a part of... and which disappeared a while back::

September '06

SVFF

WHAT a weekend. I don't know if I have the strength to put it into paraphrase.
No matter what I write, you won't have even a glimpse of the heart and soul and breath that went into this weekend. You'll NEVER grasp the enormity of what we just were a part of, the joy we had, or feel the pain and the heartbreak of it. And because of that, I don't want to write anything.
But, I have to.
My head feels like it's going to explode... it's been so long since I've written. And I feel like if I even start to scratch the surface of it... I'll lose it.
My head feels like it's going to explode... I haven't slept much in the in past week. And I feel like if I go to sleep, a real sleep, it'll all be over... and I want it to be just a little longer, I want that time to last a few more moments.
My head feels like it's going to explode... and my muscles are paining me, throbbing. waiting for that next chore crying to be completed.
My head feels like it's going to explode... I've watched death and rebirth of an even, and seen generations of history happening. I haven't even understood all that's gone on around me.
And my head feels like it's going to explode... I need water, but I've seen and sat in enough to be quenched for weeks.

361 days till Shelter Valley.

** this post was written the day after the 2006 festival. Hurricane Ernesto came along and robbed us of the beautiful weather we'd hoped for. The festival was shut down for the evening on Saturday, and the gates reopened Sunday morning, a small cue of people ushered in by a piper and clapping volunteers. I sobbed.
As for the generations of history- Nathan Rogers (son of the late great Stan Rogers) played this year's fest- his work, and his father's works were blended together in just the most beautiful way. I don't think I can capture the emotions surrounding the final concert....

surf's up

2010-09-29T09:54:00.001-04:00

I love hosting couch surfers.... you never know who's going to show up.

I've been really lucky over the past 4 years, I have had all amazing surfers, passionate people, with maybe only one that I wouldn't host again... This group was my largest. In my profile, I state that I'll take up to three people- but this group sounded like they'd be fun, and really, you have to go with your gut while reading the requests. Plus, the girl who contacted me had more couch surfing experience than anyone I've ever encountered before and had incredible references. Imagine my surprise when these bikes pulled up to the house last month.... double-deckers, riding around the lake.... amazing.

Last week I had the sweetest couple (from France originally, now living in Montreal) biking from Niagara Falls to Montreal... I really liked the contrast this couple made with last month's crew. While the energy and excitement of the younger group was great, and their enthusiasm pulled me along... it was nice to have a mature couple come, to have time for conversation, and to not have a mess to clean up afterwards!

photo diary (or) how to end up with too many vegetables

2010-09-28T21:56:00.011-04:00

Once upon a time there was a girl with a little too much time on her hands.... um. ok, that part is a lie.
Once upon a time there was a girl who was really really good at starting projects, not so good on the follow thru, and who was a little over-extended. She liked starting seeds.... so she did. Until eventually her sun porch was filled with seedlings (and with pieces of the kitchen that still needed to be installed)

One day, a kind neighbour made the mistake of letting her into his yard.

For some time, she planted and tended.... planted and tended...

... until things began to grow.... out of control. weeds, heat,rain.

... eventually, mother nature was kind to the poor wanna-be-urban-farmer, and the garden began to pay off.... in truckloads.

.... now her only problem is what the hell to do with all the fruit flies.

The end.

blue sky days

2010-09-28T00:09:00.003-04:00

I haven't cut the lawn since pre-festival.

needless to say, it's getting to be like a hay field.

'Touff is happy about it. Fynn is annoyed with it. It towers over Fynn... he spends all his time pushing at it, hoping it'll move out of his way. Jelly steps over it gingerly.

I need two things to happen. I need the sun to shine, and I need to find a mower to borrow.

**photo from the ratpack camping trip. good times had by all, even by Miss Jelly... once I figured out she needed to be wrapped like a burrito at night to beat the cold.

to fill in the gaps

2010-09-26T21:14:00.001-04:00

I just got a little message back from lovely Brian MacMillan... the actual lyrics are::

the house is creaky, the trees they moan
cold cuts so deeply it autographs my bones
turn up the TV, turn off the phone...
this is the longest winter...

*shiver*

lines

2010-09-26T08:11:00.004-04:00

Sometimes there will be a line in a song that resonates so deeply within me... that time stops for a second, and I don't dare breathe.

I heard a great one last night- At a lovely little house concert played by Brian MacMillan. His voice is lovely and smooth- no wonder he was asked to do a show just reading (though... from a Harlequin romance novel? um... iffy.) I had to pinch myself to wakefulness a few times, his lullabies were that effective.

"a cold that cuts so deep it autographs your bones"

two towers.

2010-09-25T11:16:00.003-04:00

The line was "we'll be brothers forever from now on"
and I fell apart.

It's amazing the things I think I've detached myself from, become desensitized to- but discover, in one breath that I'm forever changed.
I'm thankful that some things will always be too heavy for my heart.

*sitting at work this morning, Discovery Channel aired a show that followed the survivor stories of three people from the world trade center bombings. I'm downstairs typing in the office while it finishes. I just couldn't stop crying.

found dew drop 2

2010-09-24T21:55:00.000-04:00

:: recovered from digital dew drops, a writer's forum of sorts that I used to belong to::
October '06

fall seems to be a time of reflection. or at the very least, fall seems to bring reflection to me.
everything around me causes me to pause and look again.
the colours standing against the graying sky, the geese drifting to halt on fields bare of their crops. blankets of fog.
not just blankets,
heavy down comforters of fog, enveloping me.
this morning I drove up to peterborough, and the fog was whisping and swirling around.
I had a 15-20 foot envelope of visibility to work in most of the time, like a large parachute of vision.. pulled tight to the ground.
sometimes the chute was lifted and I could see a little farther, and sometimes for the briefest of moment, the air left the chute and fell to the ground as I hit a thick wall of mist, seeing nothing be the hood of my car.
at one point a single sun beam broke thru the clouds above, and I saw for the first time a rainbow inside the mist.
it was amazing.
it flickered like a candle, wept across the trees beside me and then lit them on fire with colour.
orange became ORANGE
reds became RED
and the green dripped with the deepest hues I'd ever seen.
amazing.

**after I moved back to the Burg from Peterborough, I still drove to the city a few times a week for a band I was a part of, and to visit friends. It takes time to let go of one community and move on to a new one.

a gift for a friend

2010-09-23T22:25:00.001-04:00

Dancing all around

tiny heads bobbing in a roar that covers my ears

steals my voice

blinds my eyes

whips my skirt

we can't help but race

and fall exhausted onto the warm earth, cool grass

purple waves in the fields

she brings song and scents and floods me with memories

eyes closed

warm face

toes exposed

letting the pace fall away

letting the days fall away

content

** this summer we made a special gift for the hobbit's birthday- this was my little contribution. you should see how the finished product turned out!

The picture is from the top of the lavender farm (aka SVFF's home) in June. The day was sunny, the wind high. The grass in the field below swung in waves... I didn't want to pick weeds, I just wanted to sit and take it all in. or run... down the hill, and fall into the grass.
It was also the day I got poison ivy for the first time.
Now, I've gotten poison ivy in the past- but only in tiny amounts. A dot here or there, often just one between my fingers or toes... this ended up being several inches long on the side of my leg. I've never been so itchy in my life. Eventually it started to fade... and I got it a second time... much much much worse. My ankle swelled, it oozed, it crusted, it hurt, it ITCHED. deep down itch. Painful itch.

Today in the garden I had to pick some poison ivy... I've never been so worried about three little leaves in my entire life.

found dew drop

2010-09-22T21:45:00.002-04:00

:: recovered from the dew drop files- June '08::

I miss the rhythm of childhood.
The way each step followed the next.
The creak of the floorboards as mom came to the door.
Dad's nose honking in the shower.
Coffee grinder whizzing.
I miss the hope of summer in the smell of the flowers,
the push of the air,
the ants on their hills.
Climbing to the top of the dirt pile,
the flapping of the tissue kite.
Sliding down into the ravine,
sand in my shoes,
clay under my nails.

* I remember each summer we'd get a load of top soil for the garden. Piled at the top of the driveway, Little Bits (my sister) and I would play "mud men" rolling down the dirt pile, and jumping under the hose to clean off.
When we moved to the Port, a town of many hills, we had a ravine on each side of our subdivision- some days we'd head down to the ravine to the south- lunches packed, and get lost for the day in the woods (um... we weren't really lost). Other days we'd head to the "sand pit" to the North, and dig clay from the stream ... building ash trays for parents who didn't smoke, and digging into the sandy cliffs.

1 2 3 4

2010-09-22T00:12:00.002-04:00

So, I was feeling badly about having two years in a row where I hardly blogged a thing.
Then I remembered I was doing it for me, not for anyone reading this.

And then I also remembered, there's still 99 days left of this year.

smooth... and spicey.

2010-09-21T23:42:00.004-04:00

I'm back to playing puzzle pirates.
yup.

I'm that awesome.

Some big things happened today... firstly, it was sweet Leonard's birthday.

Even my daily poetry book made note of it. Which, mostly just made me smile.

(It was also Yodling Ronnie's birthday. They're the same age)

Secondly, Salsa day.

Not the dance, the day of chopping.

Sure, they look pretty... but when you multiply a recipe by 4... that's a hell of a lot of peppers. and tomatoes. and onions. and garlic. I wasn't there for the full day of chopping- too many other commitments, but my back is happy the day is over. In all, 30 jars of salsa- 7 of them 1L jars, the rest 500ml.... Also cooked up a triple batch of chili sauce, and a quadrupled batch of Salsa Verde, and a pile of ketchup and regular old tomato sauce.

whew!

Also today- a visit to the dentist who confirmed what I suspected- I damaged my top teeth in the time I was waiting for my night guard... I took up clenching my teeth/grinding in the night over the summer. The stress level is back down- but now my body is in the habit of clenching/grinding. I'll be wearing that super sexy night guard for awhile.

And finally, a night of NUkeO. We're looking at making the jam happen earlier in the day- due to so many conflicts with people's schedules. We had someone show up tonight that I didn't think would show- a lovely woman from GTI. She'd never played before, but teaches piano and has a great ear for music. I don' think we scared her off. I was so thankful for the leveling factor of the jam. The way that it didn't matter where people had come from, all that mattered was that they were there and that they were giving it a try.

so beautiful.

wake up.

2010-09-20T10:36:00.002-04:00

some favourite things (within reach):
napping
pooch
uke
couch
secondhand blankets
sunshine

dream dream dream

2010-09-20T09:17:00.004-04:00

Sleep has finally come back to me.
I've now had two nights in a row where I haven't budged after laying my head down. Two nights of my old friend, vivid dreams. A whole adventure in another world. A whole lifetime. Dreams amaze me.
Last night I was back to my traveling ways- I'd been having a series of dreams earlier this year where I would get on a plane and end up in all sorts of places. Most of the dreams dealt with the frustrations of traveling- lost luggage, delays, missed connections. Frustrations yes, but... I know when I'm dreaming, so I'm along for the ride- or I'm directing the show, so I love every piece of it.
I can't get over how my brain creates detail. Fills in colour, texture, sound and even smells.
Last night's dream had me flying from Togo to home, via West Jet.... with Pontouff in a carry-cage... 'Touff turned into Jellybean by the time we landed, but... whatever. It was a bad flight, at one point we dropped, and the tail dropped faster till we were pointed upwards, but still dropping... the weather was terrible, the pilots did a great job, but eventually we landed in St.Kitts... or some Caribbean place. But suddenly we were in a pontoon plane- and we'd landed in the water, and had to jump from dock to dock to get to land- the island didn't have phone service, and we had to figure out how to contact our families. We were given vouchers for a hotel in an underground mall.. The dream went on forever. I met other travellers, we explored the underground mall (it had a giant fun house in it), Jelly and a security bull dog got in a fight (big surprise) but they turned into rabbits when I broke up the fight (of course). If I were to write out everything that happened... and the detail that went with it- it would be so long.. so much longer than this ramble.

Anyway. I'm happy the dream world is back. It was a long summer without them.

re: the title.
*I'm still grinning*
James Hill showed up at a party I was at this weekend. At some point a bit of a Uke jam broke out in the living room. I sat in.
Now, mostly I just hugged my uke. I was a little intimidated, though, not by James, the guy is really humble, really encouraging. There was some pretty crazy talent in the room. I'm very blessed. Like... really blessed. Sometimes (and not just that night) I look around the room, see what's happening, and feel like my heart is going to jump out of me from the joy. It's a good life.
I sang harmonies instead of playing. yup. sang harmonies to James' tunes and the others' tunes.
It's a good life.

(click photo for a lovely little piece by James)

not so lost

2010-09-18T14:05:00.003-04:00

I have 7 blogs listed on my blogrole.
several of them are listed as private.

I learned my lesson after some censorship at work- it doesn't matter which work, just ... at a job. A higher-up person came to me and wasn't happy with something I'd written.

Apparently, there was talk at work about what I'd written, and it had made some people upset. So I removed what I wrote- though there was nothing that pointed to the organization, or the people involved.

So I stated another blog where I could actually write what I was thinking about things.
ha.

At one point in my life I was part of this fantastic little writer's forum... an experiment.. I loved the challenge it offered, and when it (the blog) disappeared last year, I was quite sad. Today I discovered that I can go back and read the posts... that they haven't been lost to the interwebs, they've just been sitting quietly, waiting to be rediscovered.
I'm going to try to rescue a few of my old posts.

*grin*

a sometimes joke.

2010-09-11T13:43:00.002-04:00

I know I joke about it a lot... but really...
I want to be your backup singer.

sheesh.

another year....

2010-09-10T13:16:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm winning the fight over the post-fest cold and blues.
It was a great weekend in all- some of the BEST music to date. And the workshops that ran were all really well attended. We joke about people converting to the cult of SVFF... but it's true, the community wins people over.

Here are a few review/links

http://andthehitsjustkeeponcomin.blogspot.com/2010/09/shelter-valley-folk-festival-2010-we.html

http://http://www.facebook.com/Elbowmarie#!/video/video.php?v=465499515378&ref=mf

http://www.facebook.com/Elbowmarie#!/album.php?aid=527737&id=695855383&ref=mf

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sheltervalley

too lazy to embed them in something pretty today.

Last year I felt like I was too busy and missed the festival. This year I was busier, but calmer- I felt like I knew what I was doing, and knew (somewhat) what to expect. The difference in attitude made a huge difference. I even went into it knowing full well of my tendency to control every piece- and fighting my urges... allowed things to unfold.
My internal dialogue chanted "in a hundred years, it's not going to matter- people won't notice if all the paint brushes weren't in matching containers, or that the workshop speaker didn't do x, y,z... all that will remain is a blip on wikipedia (if that still exists). An entry that will read "Shelter Valley Folk Festival was (is) an incredible space, a leader in the push for community, arts and fine music."
That little pep talk changed everything.
Even when the weather got so bad, so dangerous, that we had to close down the villages.

villageS.

all of them.

sigh.

I'm sad about that. Sad that all the hard work from the past year was just shelved. And there really wasn't anything we could do about it. One of our artists lost $2000 in pottery to a gust of wind that knocked over one of her shelving units. The stage in the family village got knocked down in the wind, the tents started to come apart... making the whole space unsafe. We closed that area down for a few hours, then ran partial programming outside the gate in the main field... children hula hooping to the main stage music.. it was beautiful with the clouds racing above them.... The main village tents had to be torn down- after searching the county for extra re-bar and rope- it wasn't enough. The tents couldn't take the strain of the wind. So we made the decision to take them down, rather than lose them or risk injury.

This year I feel like I've grown into the role better- I made decisions and asked people to support me in them.. rather than stand there helplessly as things happened around me. So I feel really good about that. I'm just waiting for the sadness... grieving? to pass.

putting up..

2010-08-16T13:29:00.003-04:00

At the market on Saturday morning, I noticed that the orchard had brought along pears for sale. Know what that means?

My mouth is very excited to start canning.

Now, maybe this falls in the too much information category, but... While I was in the shower this morning, I decided to give a new razor a try. I'm the gal that buys the cheapy razors. None of the crazy fancy stuff, no way! Why would I want three blades when OBVIOUSLY one works just fine on it's own?

In my cheapy package last month, I found a free promotional giant 3 bladed pretty razor. I laughed when I found it and chucked it into the toiletries bin. It was overly girly, had a girly name on it... was CONTOURED to fit my hand, and looked shockingly like a woman's body. But today I gave it a try.

I'm in love.

I want to go rub my smooth as silk legs on every person I pass.

frightening.

Pooch

2010-08-16T00:00:00.000-04:00

I bring the pooch to work with me.

While she's got a bit of a reputation (story another day) to overcome, she's done really well being in the group home. Her favourite thing to do (when not hoovering the food off the floor, or following me around) is to fall asleep on the couch next to one of the men while they watch tv. She was born to hang out in a group home with these guys. Patently sitting at their feet while they bark "SIT" at her.
You can watch her roll her eyes- as if to say "oh goodnight! I'm already sitting!"

Unfortunately, Miss Jelly is afraid of storms. Thank God she's hearing impaired, (I think. or maybe just really slow) she misses most storms if there's enough other noise. Tonight however was one of those storms you just don't want to go out in... LOUD. Power outages. Flashing. Jelly flew off the couch and started shaking.

As I was going to be doing a double shift - my plan had been to take her home (did I mention the hobbit house is FOUR houses away? mind you, four very large houses away and around the corner) feed her, feed the buns, grab my overnight bag- as I'm still being paid to sleep here- and head back to the group home... leaving dear Jellster at home.
And then... the rain came.
A LOT of rain came.
But, time being what it was, I dragged trembling Jelly into the downpour, and started to hightail it home... holding a lightning rod, we dodged death and puddles.
We made it, but I was praying the whole way home- and we were both drenched to the skin.

Now usually, when a storm hits, Miss Jelly can be found with her head in the corner between the fridge and the wall, panting and shaking... but tonight it was just too much for her. She ran in the house...
and jumped into the bathtub.

she was still there when I left the house.

poor pooch.

In garden news, the ground cherries are ripe and tasty.
no, I'm not sharing.

wake up slow

2010-08-15T11:32:00.002-04:00

angry robot L.Bo is gone.
in her place is (nearly) the old me.
the one that cries thru movies, the one who feels deeply.
now, I just have to buckle down and figure out what's next.

22 sleeps?

2010-08-11T14:52:00.002-04:00

the garden is growing...

Just a few short sleeps till the festival.
In some ways, I'm SO ready.

in other ways, I keep hoping someone will come up to me, put their arms around my shoulders and say "it's ok, I'm here to take it over".

We've had three workshops fall apart this week- it's not the end of the world, I'd aimed really high for our numbers- I'd wanted to run programming in all the villages the entire day (one workshop each hour per village) That would put us at double the workshops from previous years... with the newly fallen programming, and the others that didn't pan out- I think we're short 2 in each village... um.. except in Wellness, I think we're close to target there.. weird.

I've fallen into that strange "non-work" pattern that I always fall into when the stress gets high- I sit. and little gets done.
It's frustrating.
then there are all the things I want to do, and it's like they're paralyzing me from the other things. my brain wants me to do just one thing each day... not practical at this point in the game.
sheesh.

...

2010-08-08T22:36:00.002-04:00

dear hot tub:

I had a really really great weekend catching up with old friends, spending hours singing in my car, remembering how bad it sucked to be a poor student. I loved every minute of baby squishing and seeing forgotten faces....
but I really really really really missed you.
and Jelly
and the Buns.

xo

count down to something

2010-07-15T14:34:00.002-04:00

somehow, festival season has snuck up on me.
I feel much more prepared than I did last year, not nearly so frightened. Maybe it's because I'm letting myself spend time thinking about other things. Letting myself get caught up in life. In possibilities.

I'm loving the garden.
I'm loving seeing things grow from these tiny seeds into something I can use, something wonderful.

The heat makes staying on task difficult. It would be fine if it were just hot... but swimming the humid air drowns me.

wishful.

biding time

2010-07-09T14:48:00.003-04:00

"people in our lives that we can't say the things we want to say to."
drives me crazy.
and yet.
I still do it.

do you?

as IF!

2010-07-08T14:51:00.000-04:00

So, I realized that a month and a half has passed, and I didn't even mention on here....

Miss Jellybean. 8yrs old, new addition to the hobbit home!

too funny. How'd I forget to post her?

'Touff and Fynn could care less about her. They take a look, then roll over and go back to sleep.. Miss. Bean however... wants to eat 'Touff... not so much Fynn.
So for now, we're taking turns playing in the yard. It works for us!

jot it

2010-06-24T10:22:00.002-04:00

I've got a jot book (well.. many) that I've been turning to for the past year or so... and three weeks ago I lost it.

which, made me crazy

I didn't realize how much I'd come to rely on it...

Last night, I changed the sheets on the bed, and discovered that at some point I must have fallen asleep with the book- it had fallen between the box spring and the headboard... silly.

2010-06-19T08:42:00.002-04:00

if I could wake up every morning and still smell like campfire
my hair
my clothes
having tumbled into bed too sleepy to change
dust on my feet
marshmallow on my cheek
sore strumming fingers...
that would be the mark of a life well lived.

Uker Night

2010-06-09T23:57:00.001-04:00

Hi friends,

Days are marching along, how about you kick back and relax with us this coming Tuesday (3rd Tuesday of the month) to strum and sing?

We've a number of people on our mailing list who aren't able to join us each month (or ever, due to distance!) I'm going to try to remember to start posting copies of the songs we've been messing around with on the facebook group so you can find them. (Northumberland Ukulele Orchestra

If you're new to the mailing list and haven't been able to come check us out, or are feeling a little nervous, don't fret pet! Pick up your uke and come learn along with us! Our biggest goal with this group is to make music accessible and FUN. Any skill level is welcome, we'll team up with you to help you along in the sticky parts.

How we run the night: We aim to start at 7pm, but if you're hungry, or just too excited to wait for 7, come early and eat dinner with us. Dinner happens downstairs in the pub, Uking happens upstairs in the front room. We have a song book of sorts, and we go around the circle, either teaching a new song, sharing a song we've been learning, or picking a song from the song book.

Coming events:

Cobourg's busker fest Saturday June 12. Our own Ruth W can be found Uking in the streets

July (date- and rain date- to be announced) Ukey-Q ... A BBQ and campfire with our Ukes (no Ukes will be burned).

August- we'll finally cave in and play downstairs (open mic style and a few from our song book together) in front of non-Ukers... maybe we'll make some converts.

So that's it for now, if you've got a song to share, please bring some extra copies with you next week.see Uke soon!

LMB

hobbits are suppose to be small

2010-05-27T10:03:00.004-04:00

one of the charms of the house was this cat door that led to the pantry... I pictured the Bunnies passing in and out of it, free to roam with a safe retreat....

um.what was I thinking? he's nearly the size of the door!

love

2010-05-24T00:13:00.001-04:00

I have friends who make me smile.
My heart hurts with the joy they bring me.

I wish that I had words.

the first of many

2010-05-17T13:58:00.002-04:00

Today my new life with just one job starts.
the sun has been shining.
plants have been dug.
watered.
ukuleles have been played.
bunnies have been kissed.
seeds have been purchased.
neighbours welcomed.
old friends chatted with.

and it's just past noon.