pass the bottle

I feel as though I've taken up running again.

At work last night I was unexpectedly thrown into a 12 km walk, the first 5km was a speed walk... after spending much of the winter on my couch, and with no warning/stretching.. today I'm pretty sore.

Yes I'm out of shape, but more so I'm surprised at the physical toll emotional distress takes on my body. Without going into any detail, that walk was a time of carrying the serious weight of emotion. I'm pretty sure that is what is causing the pains today.

All that to say... if I'm already hurting, I might as well start running again.

Time to download the C25K podcasts onto my phone (ug, where is my ipod?)

Pass the alieve please.

red noseing it.

Sometimes, it's good to figure out who you are inside.
And sometimes to do that, you have to turn the insides outside....

So, tomorrow I'm going to a clowning course.

That seems like a really good idea.






**and if anyone has $400 they'd like to give me, there's a week long course coming up that I'd love to attend.

not joking feet

I went to the store the other night. The air was like ice, and I just wanted to be where I was going. 

So I ran.

No big deal. It's not far.

I got to the store and that's when it hit me... 

6 months ago, that wouldn't have been possible. 

My legs don't call the shots anymore.

I wouldn't call myself a runner by any means, but up until 6 months ago, if I was in a hurry, I'd have run about 8 steps, then my body would have decided "enough of this joke" and slowed to a walk again.

In with the new

And so, what shall I do for 2009?

1) be more intentional, more present
2) eat more garlic
3) sign up for a 5km run
4) watch people smile

5) listen, not just hear- good music.

there are other things I'd like to do/see/be this year, but I learned to not stress myself with expectations this past year....

6) um... let's try it again.. why not? Blog every day.

running running running

Ok, so I'm in love with running.

I'm not doing as badly as I was in the beginning, it's not like I'm "falling forward" anymore. Not that I'm fast. Not that I'm ready for a marathon. But I feel good.

Out at the B&B I wasn't so comfortable running at night - ok, I was scared being outside at night. It was SO dark- only starlight .. and skunks... but since skunks don't give light... weeeeeeellllll.. I was staying inside.  

Instead, last week I ventured into the world of early morning running.

You've seen them haven't you? Those people up at an ungodly hour of the day, hair swept into a pony, running down the road as you try to get the coffee INTO the cup and not all over the counter. I hate those people. But now I think I get them.

sick.

Anyway, a perk to early morning running in the country- farmers fields. more specifically... the apple trees.

Bunday Monday

whew! have I got bunny pictures for you! on my camera.



Great ideas for audition pieces there folks! I wish I'd asked earlier, I wouldn't have been so lost... um.. hypotectically lost I mean.. IF I'd been trying out for a musical I mean.

uh....


yeah...

so... bunny pictures... right...

Snap- Shot

Voice in the night.

That was the song that came on as I trotted down the road.. rather, the song that came on as I paused.

If I'd had a camera, I'd have blown the photo up, hung it on the wall.

Called it "half harvest travels" or some other such nonsense.

But it was beautiful, half a harvest orange moon, hovering just above the train tracks. Trees silhouetted, rails lightly glowing back the orange. 

** Been listening to R3:30 after my C25K, the run isn't quite long enough, but I still want to take it easy. Instead I finish the run, then walk for the first 10 songs of the countdown.

for the next 60 seconds..

A little break from Festival de-briefing... Not because I'm done.. but because other life is happening along the way.

Growing up, I don't think I got a Walkman until I was like... 16? And even then, it was a cheap jobby that I didn't trust outside the house. (Note:: I'd used Walkmans, in the truck or car when we went on family vacations- but it was never my own)

I think (and smartly so) my parents didn't buy them for us so my sister and I wouldn't kill ourselves on our bikes or walking around town. Heck- I could barely wear a helmet on my bike/rollerblades- I couldn't hear the traffic over the sound of the wind on the plastic. I think I have some sort of hearing impairment. 

Eventually I got a job, finished university and bought one of those fancy pants non-skip c.d.Walkmans... I think I went out for a bike ride with it once before it was stolen....

All this to say... I bought myself an ipod shuffle the other day. 

And suddenly, I'm in a musical.

No really... it's like having a sound track to your life... walking down the street- each song transforms the scenery, gives it a mood. 

I'd just finished my run (more on that later) and had finished my cool-down, but still had three blocks to get home... the music made me feel like I was in a movie- I had to keep looking around, enjoying the cinematography... yeah.. I'm a dork.

But that's really what it felt like.

The run... I haven't run in about two weeks (that whole festival thing), so I decided to take it easy. I also decided to give the C25K thing a try. JMack was telling me about this podcast he and GI had been using, going from Couch to 5Km in 9 weeks... I LOVE IT. Week one is a little too easy (but I'm doing it anyway- only, I'm doing it one and a half times... so is that C to 7.5k?) It has you do a 5 min warm up, then 8 sets of 60 second runs with 90 walks between, then a 5 min cool down... 

Mostly I love that there's music that I can run to... (cause.. you ever tried to run to Neil Young? yeah... no...) AND I love that the guy who's made these things, has put some thought into it... or maybe I've over thought the whole thing.... At the third run there's a song that comes on with the lyrics being something like "leave me alone, I don't want to call you" a great break up song... also it's what I'm saying to my body... Then, after the half-way mark.. this fantastic, empowering beat- like you've just defeated the evil... like you've just discovered truth... like... well, it just makes you feel good.

awesome in 3s

1) someone googled "crossing rebel flags with bucks in the middle tattoos" and my blog was at the top of the list.

2) D: "it smells good in here, what did you have for supper?"
me: "Beets!"
Roomie 1:: "KFC"
Roomie 2:: "... Capt'n Crunch"

3) Don't want to jinx it, but the house is going off the market tomorrow. As in... TOMORROW. We will need to have a house warming party. And I will need to finish unpacking my stuff.

(4) 16 sleeps till Shelter Valley!

who decided that?

I got to insist that I be joined by a manager today at work... they had a replacement for someone who was away- but then the person came back, so they cancelled the replacement- but then the person called in sick, and there was no replacement... on the busiest day of the week.

I was thankful that she was willing to come in... there's not too many places where that would happen.

Ordered some more worms today... very very excited about them coming... I'll give the mailman a heads up this week...

I spent some time at the trailer, looking to hang out with some friends... turns out they were waiting for me at the beach... that's what I get for leaving my cell phone at home.. though, I'm thinking that when this one dies... I might just go without. (a scary thought.. but... might be a good idea)

and finally, I ran 2+ Kms tonight... 

Don't expect much from me tomorrow.

my feets

... and my feats.

Babykate and I are still running. That's one of the great things about her... she gets something in her head, and she's not ever going to let it go till she's accomplished it. I may have no motivation of my own on some days, but she's there ready to drag me along.

I have to admit, being nearly 11 years older than her- I can really feel my age slowing me. She runs flat out, even after we've just finished all sorts of strange sprints/stretches... while I'm barely able to keep moving. 

Thankfully, it's my pride keeping me going.

Never thought I'd be thankful for pridefulness.

Anyway, we're still doing the same route. It's about 5 km, (and hour and a bit when you walk hard) and we have only been (for the last week) running for about two blocks of it. We're both new to the world of running, and we know we've got to start out slow if it's something we're going to continue. 

Tonight we doubled the running portion. 

AND we added the sprint/stretches. 

I think if we hadn't been doing that crazy "kill me now" stuff (extra back and forth across a section of the peace park) I could likely have doubled again the amount of running we did. 

My recovery after the running portions is less than half what it was... after only two weeks! I'm feeling really good.

Our goal is to be able to run (however slowly) the full route the Wednesday before the festival... that's only 36 days from now. (Baby leaves for university the day after SVFF).

We can do it.

I feel like I'm giving myself a pep talk every step of the way.

But, we really can do it.

I think.... next pay cheque= new running shoes.

In the works

This has been a bit of a rough go.. the past week or so anyway. 

This month holds a bunch of emotional ups and downs historically for me... And to avoid being vague- Mom's birthday would have been this month, Their wedding anniversary, and the 5 year mark since she passed away. 

I'm doing ok... just a little moody.

Pretty good considering. "The new ok" as we, the initiated learn. (You don't want to join that club)

In the past, as you probably know... unless you live in denial (as I often tend to do), I've struggled with some bouts of depression- enough that I likely should have been getting some other help- but stubborn enough that I can play along nicely- hmm, maybe even nicely enough that you didn't notice? Ok, I'll take back the living in denial statement. 

Anyway- as a byproduct of this state- I've had a tendency to go into a hibernation mode... or, rather... pre-hibernation mode.... that part where you ready yourself for winter by eating everything in sight? 

Well, this time, I'm taking a different approach. This time, instead of folding into myself, and tucking into the fridge, I'm taking up running.

yup.

 

An aside~ Last night someone (random who I don't often see) asked me how I was doing (in reference to Mom being gone)... and then, not 5 mins later, someone else introduced me as "Pat's daughter". I held it together, and it felt nice to hear. 

Later, recounting the story to someone else, they said "your mom must be thinking about you".

Ok, I didn't hold it together to well then.