This land is your land

My news feed today is filed with the stories of my friends' encounters with Pete Seeger.  I've had this sad half smile all day, reading how inspired they all were by him... reading the funny little ways he touched people's lives.

94 is a ripe old age.

What a wonderful gift he gave us. Music and change. Strength to be loud and sing for what we believe. Beautiful. 

I feel like I have so much to learn about/from this man. And I feel a little ashamed that I know so little about him personally. I know the sweeping things, what he stood for and who he influenced... I've sung his songs around a million campfires... but I feel like his is a story that should be known.... you know?

The mountains have deep valleys.

I have never been tossed about like this.

This weekend I returned to the weird and wonderful world of the conference formerly known as OCFF. The newly renamed FMO (Folk Music Ontario) is likely one of my favourite places to be. Each time you turn around there's people I haven't seen in a while, musicians I've long admired, sea shanties sung in stairwells, new contacts, new friends, new crushes, new loves, new thoughts, new music, new collaborations,  new discussions, old discussions and long running jokes.

This was likely my favourite conference so far. I knew my jobs well and was able to help them run efficiently. I'm more comfortable in my skin with each passing year and not afraid to speak up and engage people. I was part of a really well attended panel that was fun and informative and it felt awesome to be able to contribute back to the community. And I've developed friendships that are comfortable even if they only happen in real life once a year.

Things in my day to day life have been stressful on and off for quite some time. Nothing huge that stands alone, but cumulatively it's enough that I've been weighed down emotionally. And didn't really notice it...  Until I started to laugh this weekend.

Like really laugh.
Deep belly laughs that left me gasping
crying
coughing.
Multiple times.

When did I last laugh like that?
The fact that I had to stop and really ask myself that question hurt.

When I finally fell into bed each morning (there's no sleep at OCFF/FMO) I fell into deep sleeps- filled with dreams of joy. No nightmares, no stresses... I probably could have slept without my mouthgaurd. When I woke up, I was smiling.

That is the way to spend a weekend.
Shedding everything else.

And then I came home.
I sat on my couch and readied myself to go back to work.

And I fell over the cliff into the valley with a single phone call.

"are you at home? we lost the baby"

The "other" Lovelies

At Amber and Shawn's wedding a week ago, I had the pleasure of singing with two sweet girlies.

There's something really wonderful about being included in your friends' special day.. and it's the first time I've sung at a wedding where the music playing the bride down the aisle has gotten applause! Click for the video...

(thanks to Roshan for the video!)

(I'd blame the camera angle for my twelve hundred chins... but that would be a lie)

haha. I love how when she gets in place at the front we start to rush the song... it just seemed like such a long time!

a sometimes joke.

I know I joke about it a lot... but really...
I want to be your backup singer.

sheesh.

Sweeney

This might be repetitive if you have access to the Classrunner page...

Tonight was a rehearsal night (I still want to write reHAIRsal) for Sweeney Todd. I'm still feeling a disconnect- we don't all get together often (yet?) and I still don't know every one's names... and there's even three or four people I haven't spoken to yet. crazy.
I'm trying to make sure that I get to know some of the people who weren't in last year's show. But- I'm not good with that sort of thing.

um, thank you for putting up with my awkwardness.

Things feel like they are moving REALLY fast though. (and I don't mean the speed of the numbers... HOLY! those songs have lot of words... and too few bars to put them in!) We were blocked for a big chunk of the first act tonight... it feels weird not to be on the stage all the time (like with Hair) but I guess this is the new normal.

make sure you save some time to see the show! last week of Feb, first week of March (it only seems like it's far away now)

ART art

um... so the craziest thing just happened.

I'm sick enough that I recognize that it would be stupid to go to a concert tonight, even though I really really WANT to go.

I think I've written about this lovely spoken word artist from out East, Tanya Davis (friend of sweet Catherine) that I really enjoy... the one that sings "Art"... 

actually, awhile back I wrote about both of them.. about a session on "sad songs" on Vinyl Cafe (Cbc Radio) and about how it messed me up pretty good...  shoot, I wish I could get that "search this site" widget to work on here again....

anyway. the song that messed me up so well was "Art"- go have another listen to it. Really listen to it. And think about the things that you do well... and about whether you can be brave and let them go... to be heard/seen/judged/loved/hated/grow.... (just click on it!)

sigh.

back to my story....

tonight she's in Ptbo, not too far from here, and is doing a little house concert at Raven's house. (Dear Raven, I hope you like your blog name. I like to keep people guessing. and protect identities. HA) But... I've pulled a muscle in my chest from coughing... so I'm back to being sick when I cough from the effort of coughing. SO I made the difficult decision to stay at home. 

I got a message on the computer that said "I'm going to call you. answer the phone. you don't have to talk" from Raven, and when the phone rang, I picked it up and squeaked into it a little. And then....

she said...

I hope you can hear this

can you hear that?

(I hear the first bar of "Art")

and I squeak loudly "that's art! that's art!"

and I get a private phone concert from the lovely Tanya Davis. 

and I smile and cry and squeak and cough and wince all in that order, and then all at once a few times.

because I have lovely, thoughtful, creative, beautiful, talented friends.

long time no see.

Dear Blog.
I'm sorry I've neglected you.
The calendar says that I should have 308 posts written by today....
(or so my other new year's resolution says...)

Saturday night I was blessed with a ticket for a concert from an old friend... we went to see someone who has influenced me (musically) more than any other single person has. I'm lucky in that I get to see him perform at least once every two years- and I realised on my way there... that I've been listening to him for more than half my life- and still LOVE his work.

His song writing is simple. His delivery is honest. He's not cocky, he's not out singing to prove a point- not even to himself. He doesn't stick to the same trends, he doesn't get gimmicky with his music or style. He's humble. And he's kind. And... theologically sound! This was the first time I've seen him with a full band, and he spent so much time building up the people playing with them, encouraging them and mentioning what they've been working on...
Plus.. his voice is awesome. Not in that "oh wow, that's totally awesome" type awesome, but in that "his voice brings me to awe".

I also realized at the concert that I'm a big thief.

I have never once come up with an original harmony line.... everything I've ever learned has been from singing along to his work.

Seriously.

I've had people say to me "hmmm, that is such a great harmony line... I never would have heard that in that piece, where did you get your training? did you grow up in the *insert obscure musical tradition here*?"
I've never had an answer to that. But singing along at the concert it hit me. The lilts, the funny crossovers from tenor to alto to tenor to soprano and back again... all his fault. (um... Melinda, Tony, thank you for putting up with me all those years- you know what I mean).

I wanted to thank him.
But I chickened out.
So I just shook his hand like I do every year.
And smiled really big.

good question

hypothetically speaking of course.....

what would you sing if you were trying out for a musical?

#987 (getting closer!)

At one point in time, I'd found a second to breathe and went to a sacred harp shapenote singing.
(check out this site for info)
Singing makes me breathless... not in the way where there's no way to breathe, but in the way that a harmony can knock the wind right out of me... I think I've talked about the "ache" before.

Resolutely Outmoded found this quote, and while I think it was more directed at the shapenote tradition, I think it is fantastic.

“Get enough people singing weird harmonies at the top of their voices and you
start feeling a little sorry for the devil.”
- Joe Dempsey, Washington City Paper

sight and sound

It's true.... not only did I HEAR a robin on a walk this week.... I SAW one too.


Spring... your turn.


I am trying to reprioritize some things in my life right now... some of them are making me grumpy. I don't like being grumpy, it's the biggest waste of time.

better late than never?

Know when you get the wrong words to a song?
At one of the group homes I sometimes work in, every morning starts out with music at full blast. We're blessed (and sense me clenching my teeth and gritting a smile out when I say blessed) to listen to some Shania.. and Shania knock-offs... re-mixes that go on forever and ever.... "is that CD skipping... or is it a really bad remix?" (says I, joking about the remix) "no... it really is a remix" (comes the glum response).
Two mornings now we've been greeting the day with a children's mix. This one though really IS scratched.... the chorus goes on forever till you think you might be crazy.

I had the words wrong for an hour.... apparently the song isn't "stop prohibition"
who knew!
it's a safety song...."stop look and listen"

little ditty

here's a little song that gets stuck in my head these days, and while it doesn't totally reflect the nature of my past.... I hum it.

As featured this month on David Newland's page... (and written by the jaunty cap wearer himself)

Well it's over, when it's over
And it's over when you're walking in the rain
And you'll never get that feeling back again, oh
When it's over and you're walking in the rain

And it's over, when it's over
And you're lugging all your luggage down the lane
And you're never gonna pass that way again, oh
When it's over and you're walking in the rain

We had so many things to talk about
On the sunny days when skies were bright and blue
Now I only seem to walk about
And the only thing that's blue
Is the heart that wasn't true...

Well it's over, when it's over
And it's over when you're walking in the rain
And you'll never get that feeling back again, oh
When it's over and you're walking in the rain
And it's over, when it's over

And you're lugging all your luggage down the lane
And you're never gonna pass that way again, oh
When it's over and you're walking in the rain

Tweet tweet, starlings in the maple leaves
Singing silly songs of love's refrain
Sweet sweet darling how my poor heart grieves
In this lonely little lane
Trudging for the train...

Well it's over, when it's over
And it's over when you're walking in the rain
And you'll never get that feeling back again, oh
When it's over and you're walking in the rain

And it's over, when it's over
And you're lugging all your luggage down the lane
And you're never gonna pass that way again, oh
When it's over and you're walking in the rain

oops

ok.. feeling better, and, the "avoid the computer" experiment is over too. All is better with the world.

So much better... that I realise what I forgot to do... I forgot to write about the Hoot... Which is odd, because I'm pretty sure I blogged about it the MINUTE I got home last year... and talked about it incessantly afterwards... This year... it only got the incessant talk-up.

Hootenanny '07 was fantastic! A slightly different line up from last year, but with most of the old crew returning... missing was Oh Suzanna! and a few others.... but the addition of Jim Bryson made up for it....
So what the heck is the Hoot? Like the "good ol'days" music, groups of crazy people outdoing and joining in on each other's music, this is the best explanation I could find for what happened Good Friday night at the Lawless gallery...::

What: Carolyn Mark’s Western Hootenanny Revue. Why: It’s like an alt-country
Muppet Show hosted by a belligerent saloon mistress **

The music jumped and swayed, the people clapped and laughed.. there were kazoos of sorts.. there was yelling and stomping... there was a fawn, a gas mask, a circus, an eggplant, a drum, several guitars, mandolin, a saw, a bass... and people rotated from one to another in the fantastic dance known as the Hoot.

Sigh... 360 odd days to go till next year's.

**stolen from Urban Trendz Mag.

Do you hear what I hear?

I woke up this morning and dragged myself to work... That time change has hit me hard today.

I walked down the steps and heard something I hadn't heard in a long while... something nearly foreign ::

Robins!

too much

Last night I hit the Lawless gallery for a triple mix of Aengus Finnan (yay!) Catherine Maclellan and Tanya Davis. Now, the last time I saw Catherine was at the Oasis, and the sound mix was awful and I was SO distracted by it I had to focus hard on what was being played... but last night, I got to do the board... for all three, so I was quite content.

Anyway, that's not what I wanted to write about!

Two weeks ago, driving the 28 home, I was (as per my usual routine) listening to the Vinyl Cafe on CBC, but it was a little different... instead of the show on the road, Stuart was in the studio, doing a program on "Sad songs". The idea being, that if you hear a really sad song, it'll just make you feel a little better. I agreed, so I kept listening. That was the day that the sun was blinding me all the way home...

A little Leonard was played, and then Stuart said something to the effect of "sometimes a song that sounds happy can be one of the saddest of them all" and launched into the story behind Gene Maclellan's depression and how "Snowbird" reflected him the best of all his songs... The cheery song came on the radio... and while I listened to it and thought about the sadness of the song (and his eventual suicide) I started to get a little weepy... The song ended and Stuart said just a few lines... about Catherine (his daughter) and how she must have been thinking about her dad as she wrote the next song...
That next song was one she wrote about her dad, and there's a line in it about putting his records on to listen to them, when that line was sung I started to cry...
All I could think about was the powerful painful process that is behind song... behind poetry... behind putting your most intimate thought onto paper or playing it out loud.
I thought about who would be listening to the songs, to even just that program that day... what if... what if Catherine were listening to that program? Would she hurt more over hearing the stories and songs played together? Or would it be healing, knowing that others could feel along with her? I resolved then and there that I was NEVER going to write a song down again... something so personal... so... entirely open.. so ... *sigh*
Then a letter was read... a letter about Tanya's new Cd, and a piece was played called Sadness.* By the end I was still so upset by the fact that words are so powerful, but I knew I'd better get a new pen.

.... put down my handkerchief, for a pen with good ink flow and then
put down a new poem and then something insightful..... make it worth my while.

*also listen to "Art"... it just confirms it.

flash back part two

"coulda been a par-ty... coulda been a par-ty"

you know those times when you hear a phrase and it jolts you into song? I figure there's a song for nearly every phrase said out there... well .. nearly....

Every time I have to sit at the train crossing and a freight passes, I have to start singing "freight train freight train going so fast, freight train freight train wish it would last...." because that's what mom and dad sang when we sat at the crossing.

My mom used to sing that party line all the time when you started to talk about a party... or planned for one... I just thought she was making it up.

Friday, while on a work errand, (with mug-o-creme-de-ble) in hand... I heard the real song... "musta been a par-ty" was the actual line.... You know it's not going to be in the top hits chart when it takes 28 years to hear it for yourself.... It made me smile thinking about her.

I'm starting to wonder if maybe that freight train song is for real after all.....