It Does a Body Good

I have this thing for milk.
I pray I never become lactose intolerant.

There are days when the only thing that is going to quell the urge to shovel things down my gullet is milk. Cold Cold milk.

I'm pretty sure it's hormonal, but I haven't figured out which part of the cycle is craving it... I'll have like a week where I'll drink nearly a litre a day, then a week where I don't even think of it, then a day of OH MY GOSH I NEED MILK... and it'll never be enough milk, and I'm sloshing inside.

This is one of those weeks where the milk is going fast in the house, except I've been at work a lot so I've been drinking it there. Early this morning I was getting ready to head to Breakfast Club and needed to have a first breakfast. Breakfast Club doesn't start till 10.  I was hit with a wave of Finish.All.The.Milk. When this sort of thing happens, it's like I'm trying to win a chugging contest. My mouth opens and things go in and... well... it's almost embarrassing.

This morning there was only a quarter of the bag of milk left, so I indulged myself in a guilty childhood pleasure.

Drinking right from the bag.

I can almost hear my mother yelling at me.

I opened and greedily poured the bag into my throat... In the first second I knew there was something wrong. by the time I could start to react I'd already gulped twice... three times... the bag was nearly empty as I was able to pull it away...

pull it away before the biggest of the chunks from the bottom of the bag fell in my mouth.

yeah.

that happened.

Shudder.

I think I can probably make it the rest of the day without another drink of milk.

First breakfast

A million years ago,  or according to my archives- 3 years ago,  we folded our "BELLS" group.

Blessing, Eat, Listen, Learn, Sentness

Sort of a liturgy for us hobbits.
Something to use to gather with other likeminded folk and give direction and intention to our togetherness. 

Sentness has always been my favourite to reflect on. Where have I been sent?  Where have I seen God's hand in my life this week?  As someone who has decided to consciously seek joy, this is an activity I can really sink my teeth into.

I miss our old BELLS group. Life got too busy, and some people felt they were carrying the lion's share of the effort to keep it running. We all were burnt out. And it started to feel like a burden. Funny,  because we all came because we were burnt out... or had been burned and needed a safe place to figure out our own faith.

Before BELLS we were doing church at GTI, before that we had a home church... before that ...  most of our group just didnt "fit" in.

Tomorrow a group of those hobbots are getting together again. We haven't got any plans for anything other than breakfast. No books to study,  no video series to learn from, no expectations, no ... anything. Just breakfast,  breaking bread. So of course we're calling it "the breakfast club".

I'm excited to be in community again.
F you 2013.

The best Christmas Carols

I have two students right now taking uke lessons.
Two young girls, 9ish... funniest age ever.

Christmas is still a little ways off, but it's a refreshing change to have a series of songs where the generation gap hasn't left a giant rift. Honestly... what do kids listen to? I'm lost every week trying to find songs that we all know!

My second student is still quite new to the ukulele. She had a cognative growth spurt over the summer and is suddenly catching on really quickly- the music is starting to make sense and her fingers are "listening" to what she wants them to do. This year we're actually playing full Christmas songs without either of us ending up in pain.

There's still a generation gap... even in the classic Christmas tunes.

We were learning Roudolph last week. An easy tune, it means we can belt out the words without having to think too much... We had a little talk before we started...

Me: I want you to sing as loud as you can and do all the echos

Student: At my school the kids always sing the part about going down in history like Justin Bebier. I don't want to sing that.

Me: You don't have to sing that... sing about someone famous who will be famous forever- for all of history.

Student: ummmmm.

Me: Well, when I was growing up we said "like Christopher Colombus"... He's written about in a lot of history books.

Student: ummmmm.

Me: How about "like Oprah"?

Student: Who's Oprah?

(I'm dieing laughing): Really? Oh dear! Seriously?? Am I that old? Are you that young? Sheesh. ummm... How about "like Leonard Cohan"?

Student: Well, that makes more sense.

(This time I'm dieing laughing and due to overwhelming joy): ok.

Student: I'll probably just go with Justin Bebier.

 Me: sigh.

A little later we're talking about favourite drama games...

Student: Well, what about "fluff"?

Me: Fluff? Never heard of it.

Student: (dieing laughing) Really? Oh dear! Seriously?? Are you THAT old?

The lesson is nearly over, so we give Rudolph one more go... and get to the last line... Sweet student sings with gusto...

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, you'll go down in hiiiissssss-tooooooooorr-eeeeeeeeeeee
But not like Oprah!

a lesson in patience

This morning I was excited.
I woke up early ready to go get my new car... I woke up early and discovered I'd forgotten to buy dog food too.

My appointment at the bank- for the car- wasn't scheduled till noon but my dog demanded food, so I wandered my way downtown. Too early for the bank. Too early for even the dog food.
I reached into my wallet and discovered my secret stash.

I've been making sure I always carry two bucks for the bus. Just in case. Somehow I've gone 8 months without a vehicle and haven't taken the bus once. I mean, I've tried to take the bus. I've gone to stand at a bus stop only to be picked up by a friend along the way. So my two dollars in coin has sat in my pocket/change purse for months... I decided to bid it farewell.

I bought myself a fancy coffee and waited for the pet food store to open.

And it started to rain.

And I thanked my lucky stars that I was picking up my new car today so I wasn't going to get wet in that rain.

And I got my dog food.

And later I went to the bank.

And my car wasn't ready... so I rode my bike in the rain.

Again.

 At least the coffee was worth it.

drip drip

I think that tonight was my last wet ride home from work.

After 8 months of being a cyclist, I'm headed to the bank tomorrow for my bank note made out to tune of a new (to me) vehicle's cost.

Part of me is sad that I'm caving and getting a car. I  mean, at one point I'd toyed with the idea of going a year without replacing the sunfire. Going 8 months is still a huge thing... really. In a small town with a terrible transit system, it's nearly unheard of. Our transit would get me to work 5 mins late - if I took the first bus- and I'd have to walk 3 blocks to get the bus... it takes me less time to ride the 3.5 km to work. The last bus of the night finishes nearly an hour before the end of my evening shifts..

I tried to take a taxi one morning. It went to the wrong address, so even though I'd woken up 2 hours early in order to call and reserve a ride on a terribly rainy day, I ended up being 10 mins late for work.

I'm pretty excited to pick up my new car. Road trips and visits to the forrest with the pooch... ug. the freedom to go to a different grocery store!

The new vehicle doesn't have a name yet.

It's pretty much the exact opposite of the two door sunfire... I feel like it's the car I'm always suppose to have had. Yay for my Honda CRV!

The mountains have deep valleys.

I have never been tossed about like this.

This weekend I returned to the weird and wonderful world of the conference formerly known as OCFF. The newly renamed FMO (Folk Music Ontario) is likely one of my favourite places to be. Each time you turn around there's people I haven't seen in a while, musicians I've long admired, sea shanties sung in stairwells, new contacts, new friends, new crushes, new loves, new thoughts, new music, new collaborations,  new discussions, old discussions and long running jokes.

This was likely my favourite conference so far. I knew my jobs well and was able to help them run efficiently. I'm more comfortable in my skin with each passing year and not afraid to speak up and engage people. I was part of a really well attended panel that was fun and informative and it felt awesome to be able to contribute back to the community. And I've developed friendships that are comfortable even if they only happen in real life once a year.

Things in my day to day life have been stressful on and off for quite some time. Nothing huge that stands alone, but cumulatively it's enough that I've been weighed down emotionally. And didn't really notice it...  Until I started to laugh this weekend.

Like really laugh.
Deep belly laughs that left me gasping
crying
coughing.
Multiple times.

When did I last laugh like that?
The fact that I had to stop and really ask myself that question hurt.

When I finally fell into bed each morning (there's no sleep at OCFF/FMO) I fell into deep sleeps- filled with dreams of joy. No nightmares, no stresses... I probably could have slept without my mouthgaurd. When I woke up, I was smiling.

That is the way to spend a weekend.
Shedding everything else.

And then I came home.
I sat on my couch and readied myself to go back to work.

And I fell over the cliff into the valley with a single phone call.

"are you at home? we lost the baby"

And I quote

There's a little too much in my head right now. It's been a hard week at work.

But I just heard myself say out loud "today I rode in a car and I rode on a train".

I'm either 3 years old or a hillbilly. You decide.

My ding a ling.

The town clock has been under renovation all summer. I've been confused about the time since they pulled the hands off in June.
This Friday they turned the switch and put it back to work....

I'm more confused.

The faces say the right time, but the bells are ringing the wrong things... It's 9pm and it just rang 4 times... at 4pm it rang 6 times.. at 10pm yesterday it rang 5 times....

Ding dong song.

weeping with laughter, joy, and a longing.

I stayed up way past my bedtime last night.
I made the mistake of clicking to read all posts with the label "GTI" and relived years of frustration and joy... then I headed over to "the figurehead's" blog and read the entire thing.
The ENTIRE thing.

"The Figurehead" was a part-joking title one of our team members received in the early years at GTI, back when we were still just GTI.

A quick recap- "GTI" was a group of people that became friends and put on a dinner weekly at the local residential hotel (made up of those who lived there and those who don't.... not "us" and "them"). We had church. We had breakfasts. We walked beside eachother. I learned so so so much about people and relationships there.

Things have changed over the years. Not for the worse. Just changed. And big parts of it are better- more streamlined... heading somewhere Big. But in the move to that somewhere Big, and because of other forces... a portion of what GTI was has been lost. And again... it's not bad that it's been lost. It's a different incarnation. And more people are being reached by more services.

And I don't miss being strapped for cash and spending my grocery money trying to help feed 45 people. I don't miss the days when I was working 80+ hours and trying to fit in time to make 10lbs of scalloped potatoes. I don't miss my car smelling a little like puke and smoke and cats. I don't miss sitting in a freezing room with no bathroom for hours.

But I miss my friends at the motel.
I miss the raccoons, the euchre, the mice, the conversations, the adventures, the laughter, the trying to make it work, the smelly carpet, the long buffet table, the long eating tables, the chairs that fell over on their own, the fuses that burnt out, the draft, the warmth, and the friendships that came from dealing with those weird bits.

Click here to read some bits and pieces I wrote...

Click here to read the Figurehead's blog (I hope some day she publishes it)


I've got to go do some thinking.

Did you know this?

I feel like the bionic woman.
No really... This week's highlights included CUTTING A BAR OF STEEL WITH MY BARE HANDS.

Not kidding.
I've been prepping to build a chainlink fence in the backyard to keep the non-wonder dog secure. One of my tasks was to find a way to make a top rail shorter. What the heck do you use to cut large bars of metal?
Turns out I use my little hack saw.
Thank you google.

While I was doing it I had to keep stopping to laugh. I was CUTTING metal.
Ok, I know it's not something funny... but like... here I am, a girl in her backyard cutting a piece of metal to build herself a fence... it's kind of funny. And.. did I mention it was a BAR OF STEEL?
Ok, maybe it was some random mix of metals...but. whatever.

Added to the list of things I learned to do this week- cut metal, change the blade in my hack saw, what a hack saw is, how to dig post holes around tree roots, how to make chain link not so saggy.
This is a great list.

edit: add to the list, I learned that my dog has zero impulse control. The fence is nearly finished, I showed the dog the fence- walked him it's length several times, tapped on it- made him look at it. The dog ran full face into the fence at the first squirrel he saw. Gave himself a bloody nose and a big welt across the forehead.
My dog is going to break his neck or get hit by a car... I know it.