Tuesday, December 31, 2013

time to stop

I've been watching errr... bingeing on netflix again.
My boss decided I needed some time off, after the ice storm and Christmas I was heading into my 10th day of working straight and the stress levels weren't going down by much... So, day one of my two day vacation consisted of nearly an entire season of Dawson's Creek.

So much teen angst.

I'm talking in circles in my own head now. Using the biggest words and worst clich├ęs to narrate my life.

It's time to stop.

Time instead to gather up materials for the 6th annual collage party.

Dear 2014, what will you be? 

Monday, December 30, 2013

slip stich

I couldn't tell you how many pairs of socks I've knit in the past 4 years. It's an addiction that comes in waves, the need to feel the wool in my hands, the flick of my fingers the glide and click of the needles.

I own 4 pairs of knit socks. I should have more- I bought my last pair of boots just a little too big so I'd be forced to wear pretty hand knits with them. Most of the time my feet just slide around in the boots... boots which I need to replace, they've finally worn out. Maybe this next pair will fit right, I'll admit to myself that even though I say I'm not a gifter- it's not my love language- I love to do things like knit socks for other people... I'm never going to have a drawer full of my own.

All that to say... I got sad this morning when I put on my socks. I've got a hole in one, up on the leg part- the heels and toes are well felted and won't wear. It's cold and I don't want to take off my sock. Not even to mend it.

Saturday, December 28, 2013


It's that time of year..
Getting ready to start "the basement diaries".

This season? Install the insulation in the floor of the addition and build that freakin' wall that I keep talking about. Bonus round will include a curtain that will hide the laundry corner.


I know.


I've become the single most boring person on the planet. Someone please rescue me?

Monday, December 23, 2013

Found in the draft folder, but just as relevant today as it was 3 years ago.

we play different roles with different people sometimes... have you ever tried to not play the role when it's become ingrained, or even- when your ability to converse and function is reliant on that role?

is it a game? the rules? does anyone win? have I killed this analogy yet?

I'm stepping away from the roles in a few parts of my life. I'm not happy with the bending to make it fit.  But I'm not really sure what it means. A backing away from past relationships, making space for others to grow too, I think.

How now do I find myself in the greater world around me? Where do I step up?

**edit Dec 2013** phhhhhh, I still don't know.

Monday, December 16, 2013


Sometimes I'm too close to something to see it for what it is.
It takes someone else seeing the thing with fresh eyes, to really see where I am.

Take Rueben.
He's a nutty pup. He wears me out and drives me around the bend, he has near to zero impulse control. But really... really... where are we?

I had a group of friends here today, and over and over again I heard reactions to my dog. He was polite, he didn't jump up (much- until the baby voices started and people leaned over inviting him), he listened and sat or got into a down when asked. He was gentle and respectful of a visiting smaller dog that doesn't like to play. And he was mostly quiet.

 We don't have to do the 12kms every day anymore just to make it through the day. He's sleeping on the bed right now.. letting me type and watch a movie.

We have come SUCH.A.LONG.WAY.

I'm thankful for the perspective of others today.

Monday, December 02, 2013

Always hoped that I'd be an apostle

Digging through my parents' record collection was a thing I'd do pretty regularly growing up.
Raised on a solid foundation of Roy Orbison, The Beatles, and Abba, I can bust out some good tunes when it comes time for karaoke.

There were a few in the collection that I didn't really take the time to listen to... and now I regret it.

The Director called me up a few weeks ago and said she was desperate for a few more voices for her show... could I please try to fit it in?

I think I'm the only one in the cast who can't sing every line, every part, without their book.

Jesus Christ Superstar.

This would be the part where I admit I've never even watched the show the whole way through without falling asleep.
To be fair though, I've never tried watching the show BEFORE midnight.