Thursday, October 23, 2014

I should know this answer by now


A beardly boy asks you "what's the undertone I'm sensing to your patchouli? " and really means it.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Keep trying though


No matter how many cute dresses you buy, you're never going to be as adorable as Tannis.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

A quick thank you

 October is a month of crazy in Ontario if you're hip deep in the folk music scene. 
FMO- Folk Music Ontario wraps up the season of festivals with a conference designed to keep you from sleep while feeding you full of some of the best music our country has to offer.  I've written about it before- under it's old name OCFF. 

About half of these "Folkie girl problems" are from my own life... the other half credit is owed to a wonderful and silly group of friends that came together because of FMO. 

A big thank you to Emma Jane, Gaby, Shawna, Joanna, Rachel, Meghan, Ian, David, and all the beardlys we crush on.

A very thin line to tread


You don't know if your skirt is too Mennonitey to be folkie.

They're a thing.


You forgot to wear your "modesty shorts" under your sundress on a windy day at a festival workshop.

Just this.



Quick fix


Single people don't have different coloured lanyards.

Homework, word from a folkie boy


You go on a vinyl hunt with a smitten folkie girl and discover she's only interested in the french vinyl because she's doing research on her future boyfriend.

Wardobe grants are a thing, right?


The only outfit that looks good anymore is the same one in all your promo photos, youtube videos, live shots...

A word from a beardy man


You tell a gal you like her dress and you would totally wear a dress like that in your size and everyone thinks you're kidding.

We need a bigger hotel.


It takes longer than a three floor elevator ride to work up the courage to flirt.



You have no idea how to contact your crush post-conference/festival without calling their agent.

Should have learned the mandolin or uke.


You've found the prettiest shirt ever, but your giant guitar is hiding it.

I'm good, Get over it


If one more person says "you're a female bass player?"  ...

Monday, October 20, 2014

Might start grabbing strangers


The days following your favorite festival/conference/tour  "why is no one hugging me right now?!"

Eyes front soldier


The guy on sound is way more into the waitress than your mix.

Spot vs gels


How many pretty scarves can I bring to this gig? Is someone doing lighting?

Bring it just in case


You're going to a pot luck... should you bring your hummus?

The real duel


You keep tearing your tights on stray banjo wires.

Stubbornly resistant


Trying to return to normal life after a great music conference.

Every day


You aren't sure if this is a plaid and skirt event or a cute dress and boots thing. (Answer: jean jacket and blundstones)

Sunday, October 19, 2014

But you can


Your man crush just can't grow beardly enough.

Just. No.


Your man crush shaved off the beardy.

Run fast


Your two top beardy man crushes play in different bands and are showcasing at the same time on opposite stages.

And there's going to be a line up


You've really got to pee but your new favourite singer is in the middle of their last showcase.

And you probably brought it in the first place


The boys aren't sharing the whiskey.

Because guh.


Every time you go to a conference you end up standing beside cutie guy Tom Power in some random hotel room/hallway or showcase. And you don't ever talk because music.

Dream a little dream

I had a dream last night that I got high with this most random group of people. I've always been a second hand smoke kinda gal, waiting for it to be legalized in real life, so I was interested in knowing what would happen if I did smoke pot... thank goodness dream life cleared it up for me.

I remember taking my first hit... it was so hard to breathe it in, apparently my dream self had been given a special joint. Rice paper (the kind you use to make cold rolls) instead of regular rolling paper.
Getting the air to actually flow thru and deliver the smoke left me light headed from hyperventilating it in.
 I remember feeling like maybe I coul could let go, was this the pot? Was I high? 

And then i woke up (in my dream). 

What's this?
Dream self falls asleep when she gets high?
Dream self felt so relaxed. ..
Dream self's friends looked concerned.

"What? What's the matter?" I asked.
My friends backed away.

Turns out I murder people when I'm high in my dreams.
People who deserved it mind you,  but it was messy terrible stuff.. for some reason, dream self asked for all the details. For some reason, dream self had flashbacks to the events. Apparently dream self has a worse potty mouth than I do in real life.  

Then, when it was all said and done... I was allowed to "sleep it off" in my dream. There were no consequences. "Oh, it's ok, you didnt actually do it- you were high at the time".

I have got to stop watching Dexter before bed.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Folkie Girl Problems


You worked up enough courage to talk to that beardly man, only to discover that he doesn't speak English, and you've got cereal box french. "hi... uh... flocons de maise?"

Folkie girl problems


You totally wrote that lyric last year but didn't write it down or record it yet. Some guy heard it and used it. It's on his CD now.



You've signed up for so many conferences this year but they've all had name changes recently and you can't figure out which acronym you're attending this weekend.

Folkie girl problems


You're wearing the same plaid shirt and skirt as the person playing before you at a showcase.

Folkie girl problems


You left your blundstones at the front door, and now you can't figure out which ones are yours.

Fake it?

The beardly man you like is in a band with a sound that you don't like.

Monday, October 13, 2014

my toddler-like hissy fit

The weather is getting cold. Yesterday morning the house temperature got down to 15.5 degrees. I was hoping to not put on the furnace, so I boiled the kettle a few times- tea and a hot water bottle- and brought the temperature up over 16 degrees without too much of a problem. I love my gas stove.

But then last night it dipped back down to 15 degrees, and I finally conceded that it was time to turn on the furnace. I reluctantly walked the walk of shame to the thermostat- passing the gas bill sitting on the kitchen table, I winced. I calculated in my head how warm I could set it without feeling guilt, and how many days I could run the thing this month before I surpassed last October's usage... Lesson? I should keep my bills on the kitchen table all the time.

I flicked the little switch and waited for the roar of the furnace igniting.

I waited.
A little longer.
Turned the switch back to off, then back on again.

My pilot light had blown out two summers ago- resulting in my needing to call a repair guy... mostly because I didn't know at the time that my pilot light could blow out. At the time I asked him to show me how to light it in case it happened again. He told me it likely wouldn't- that it must have been quite the gust of wind to have blown down the chimney and put it out. Then he didn't show me. I'm guessing it was more to do with the fact that I had to pay him $130 for the visit.

I'm often told that I'm far too independent. I've even been told I scare men because of my independence... um... thanks? I think that was part compliment? Part "definitely not" a compliment.

In effort to break from that line of thought, and also because I'm sick of having to do everything for myself (waaaaaa! tantrum), I decided to put it out to the universe that I needed help. I asked my facebook friends if anyone knew how to light a pilot light.

What did I get? Mostly a bunch of people telling me to DIY and links to how-to videos. Then a second wave of "you're going to blow up your house" responses.

Dear universe. I ask for help, and I'm told to do it myself.
This is why I'm independent.

The cold eventually conquered any fears I had of lighting the gas heater back up, and after I got it lit I saw that two women had offered their husbands' assistance, which was very kind of them. I'll admit, there was a certain rush that I got when I finally figured out where the pilot was, got it lit, AND got the circulation pump turned back on (apparently I'd knocked it sometime over the summer too). When the furnace roared to life and the rads got hot... I felt smug. I felt smart. I felt independent.
Watch out boys.

Sunday, October 12, 2014


Dear October,
You haven't been particularly kind to the people in my life this year, you and your friend "end of September" have really been quite the bullies.
I'd like to propose a ceasefire. Cease-fire?  Whatever.
Just stop making things so tough.

Thank you for the turkey, and that the people I love are breathing and give great hugs. I guess you've got that going for you October... those gatherings of people who are dear.

Ok. I guess you aren't all bad.

Follow up

What did I do?

While I really wanted to do "J" -write a blog post and link to it on facebook,  I figured that was kind of crazy... and just me wanting to have more hits to the blog (being honest here folks).

In the end I totally signed out to lurk his profile... debated heavily with myself the pros and cons of mentioning a crush, and ended up sending a kindly message stating my surprise at the couple's separation- and (in a nod to the knowledge that half the guys on the site are married trolls) said if I wasn't supposed to have seen his profile I could pretend like nothing happened.

There's more to the story, but really what it comes down to is there are a whole lot of lonely people out there... even in relationships.

What can we do as community to help eachother not feel so isolated?
Seriously.  I'm asking for myself too.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Little help?

So blogland,  I've a question for you.
I already know what I'm going to do, and I'm headed to execute it... but I'd love to know how you'd respond.

A friend of yours is married, and until this moment you've no reason to doubt that he and his wife are anything but happily married. And yet, while browsing the ridiculous and entertaining free dating site, you discover your friend's photo.

Do you:

A) send him a hilarious message so he knows you've seen him there?
B) send him a wtf message?
C) announce your long time crush?
D) ignore his profile?
E) sign out so you can lurk his profile without his knowledge?
F) ask him in person if he's enjoy fishing?
G) say something kind but show your concern?
H) sign in under a fake account and hit on him?
I) send him a txt letting him know someone's stolen his identity and created a profile on a dating site?
J) write a blog post about it then link to the post via Facebook?

There's no wrong answer here folks.

Updated to add:
And no, I didn't choose just one myself.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Sunny days, or a misplaced confessional.

I haven't had to lose it on the demon dog in over 72 hours. I slept in till 7.
Some of my favourite people are home for the weekend.

Driving the same country road, the colours are amazing.
I look over and I see this man, again.
Painting in his garage, again.
My music is blaring, again.
My toes are cold, again.
There's the draughts pacing at their gate, again.

I haven't spoken anything other than a whispered "good boys" to the pooches yet today.

And I hear myself screaming "I'm stuck on groundhog day!"

Then madly laughing like a lunatic.

Sounds about right for a friday.

Wednesday, October 08, 2014


Not as light hearted as usual.
I'm feeling weary.
I know it's not about me, but I've taken on a lot of the pain and struggles of a number of my friends lately. Combine that with some unknowns in an already sparse relationship department- expectations and fear of disappointing others (since when did my own relationships have anything to do with OTHER people aside from myself and a partner? Sheesh, I'm more worried about their disappointment than my own at this point)...  I'm  mostly just a quivering mess of a person.

So I had a little melt down when I got to work today.

I was sent a message before work requesting a change to something, and knowing that I was walking into resistance to that change had me on high alert... then I walked in the door and was met with "you need to fix this" "Has someone [read: when will you] fixed this yet?" "what about this change?" and my favourite "they didn't tell me that so I'm just going to leave it [and thereby set them up for failure]".

So I told them I didn't give a shit.
And then in near tears shared some of the better news I'd been given in the past 24 hours just to put life in perspective.

Strangely I felt a lot better.

I think I need to get that hot tub fixed really soon.