Wednesday, April 30, 2014


I have an interview in less than two hours for a job I've already held.
A job that due to the most horrendous and unfortunate of circumstances I should have been working until this coming October. I've only been out of the position for over a month.

Out of principle, no one else from my program is applying to the position, they feel its mine, but due to policy it was posted to the larger community and I'm up against 3 other people.

I'm really quite nervous about this.
These interviews are points based. What if I'm off my game? What if.
Recently the interviews have changed. Where before questions were theoretical, "what would you do in this case?", questions have moved to "name a time where you...".  Ug. I have the worst memory for details of the things I have done!  I can tell you what needs to be done, and in the moment I do what is supposed to be done... but.. I can't tell you the details around an event!!!!
I've spent the last two days trying to remember an event that happened at work where afterwards I was praised by my manager, another manager, and the behavioural therapist. .. the event was brought up at a team meeting as a "this is awesome, learn from this moment"  And I friggin can't even remember what it was that I had said that was such a big deal.

I know how to do my job well. Really really well.

But I'm not super talented in remembering the sort of details they're going to be asking for.

So. In less than 2 hours I go to an interview.

And I may not get the job.

And I'll be disappointing myself and the rest of the team if I don't get it.

Grumble grumble. Points based. Grumble grumble this is my job. Grumble grumble new interview style. Grumble grumble still going to have to interview for the SAME job again in one year.

Monday, April 28, 2014


Last night I had a nightmare that I had a spider crawling across my face, I woke up to find my nose dripping, no... running, across my face.

A stream of snot from my nose to behind my ear.

I have never had allergies like this before.

I haven't tasted anything in weeks.

I caved out of desperation.
I bought a neti pot.

I've heard amazing things about them, promises that my sinuses would be flushed clear, reduced allergy symptoms.

Um. Yeah... once.
I've gotten it to work once.
One time the water has gone into my sinus and run out my other nostril.
One time only.
My sinuses are so plugged that the water can't even get into my sinuses.

I bought my fourth box of Kleenex this month. The month isn't over yet.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014


A day off.
Sleeping in (sort of)
Lazy showers
Movies on the couch
Surprise visits from lovely people
Adorable ukulele students
Yard work
Cold wind
A walk at the beach
A burger

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Little boxes

Disclaimer: this isn't a "poor me, someone build me up" type post. This is me just trying to figure things out.

Most of my life is compartmentalized.  Not on purpose. It's just happened like that. Especially the relationships in my life, very few crossovers happen. Festival friends, work friends, family, theatre, music, others... there are a handful of people who've seen into all those groups. A handful who put up with me on my weirdest days. A handful who know me really well, who listen even to my silence.

We had Easter dinner as a family this weekend.

Turns out my step niece doesn't know my name after 8 years of family dinners.

There's a right fit for all of me and my parts somewhere... right?

Friday, April 18, 2014

Strummy tummy

A month or two ago our pub switched from karaoke to an open mic night.

"Our pub".
We've been doing this for 3 or 4 years now. Meeting every week for a drink and maybe some apps.
Our pub has changed a few times. The favourite place closed a few years ago and we moved to the dirty place... then we got tired of always having the grumpy waitress... so we moved to our current location. The jail.
Our first 7 months there the place was empty all the time, but since they've added entertaining activities we've seen fluxes in the attendance. 

And now it's open mic.
So much more civilized than karaoke night. The people who get up there have worked hard to get to the point where they feel comfortable enough to share their skills. They aren't up on a drunken dare, and the sound is pretty good.

One of the pubcat jailbirds suggested I get up and play a "Leslie and the Lys" piece, I laughed it off.

It's one thing to host an open mic type event (like for uke jam) and another to enter someone else's space. With uke jam I'm someone else. I play the part of the entertainer, my job is to put others at ease. Same with playing in church, or jamming with friends.... there's no repercussions or expectation, everyone there is there with you. I don't think "repercussions" is the term I want...
An open mic has expectations.
And it's not "my" people.

I was never going to get up and play, I wasnt ready, but I spent the next 45 minutes having a mini panic attack as I went thru all the emotions as if I were prepping to take the mic.

So weird.

Maybe it means when I do go up, I'll have filled my quota of scaredness.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Romeo and Juliet

Once upon a time, a boyfriend of mine hit a bird with his car and killed it. He send me a text right after it happened. .. back in the days of T9 txting and driving.
I made fun of him.
I'd never killed anything while driving.
Oh... I had fun with that..mocking him, for about an hour.
When a bird dive bombed my car on hwy 2 into port hope and I hit it good and dead.

Spring has finally arrived. Ok, so I read it might snow on tuesday, but we've finally had warm weather and the snow is nearly gone. The birds are in love, everyone and everything is twitterpeted.

I decided to give my car a good cleaning on friday. The dog has managed to cover every inch of the interior of the car in sand and fur from our beach visits, it was about time.

I backed the car in the driveway as usual, opened all the doors and started to vaccum.
While I was vacuuming I realized that my only vacuum joke was about how badly the thing sucked, and tried to come up with some other punny statements knowing how lame that one was... except my vacuum does suck. It doesn't really suck up dirt anymore. It's a crappy vacuum.

I was standing on the driver's side of the car, between the two open doors, wiping something when it happened...

Two of those twitterpeted love birds were soaring around the yard. Squeaking and tweeting and flying like maniacs, they flew thru the gate and
flew right into the window inches from my head

And fell to the ground dead and dying.

One dead.
One dying.
Two dead robins.

What was their backup plan if the windows had been open? Fly into the side of my head?

I threw their little bodies in the garbage after considering tossing them to the chickens. I just didn't want to clean up after those little velociraptors after they'd eaten their fill.