Thursday, May 31, 2007

true that

in response to yesterday's post... yes, It's not quite protecting one's identity if you then go ahead and tag them in a note on facebook... BUT since these posts don't originate in Facebook, but in my one true love: the annon-sorta blogger, the king of "Badum dum ching" is safe and secure in his anonymity.

now.. to the point- and yes I do have a problem staying on task this month- Jmack pointed out that perhaps the most memorable part of the trip was NOT in fact his body flailing display of armless bear chow- but perhaps some other such event.

True.. Niagara Falls is beautiful.. the honeymoon capital of the world, and true one of my favorite parts was the power plant- in nerdly fashion- I learned more about power generation in one 30 min tour and video than I ever have before.... But perhaps the entire trip's memory could have been eclipsed by one single feature of this trip....

Sue the bus driver.

more on her later.. I have some SHELTER VALLEY work to do... (hee hee.. none too subtle eh? It's SVFF time again...

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

take a TRIP to the FALLS (holds out a foot for you to trip)

budum dum ching!
(that's right, wave your hands in the air, hit that air drum set)
err.. Dale D***s (name protected... but you know who I mean)
on a tangent before I've even gotten started.

no more are there to be "badum dum chings" after the often stupid things I say.. no no no... no more! instead in it's place... with a dumbfounded look, one is to utter "Dale D***s" in it's place.
After having dear Dale perform the real live drum kit hit after another of my profound statements.. I decided that the real thing was the only way to go... for days after, people would be "badum dum chinging" and then look at each other and say "too bad Dale isn't here for the real thing" or "where's Dale D***s when you need him?" After some time, this became shortened to "Badum dum ching... Dale D***s!" So in the effort to cut down our impact on the environment... or.. whatever... I've decided that the Badum dum ching is no longer necessary.

right right right.. this is a serious thing this here blogging world.
Down to business. The whole point of blogging today.

Most memorable moment yesterday at Niagara Falls....

When JMack stuck his arms straight out behind his back and tried to do his impression of a man being attacked by a bear... with his arms ripped off.... trying to blow a whistle on his back back

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

lions and tigers and flies.. oh my!

ate my first... and second bugs of the season... gross.

I haven't been typing much this week, as somehow I've hurt my wrist! Even my pirating has been effected! How sad.
At first I thought it was another ganglion (sp?) growing in my wrist (funny cyst thing) but then yesterday when I cried trying to straighten my fingers I knew that couldn't be it.... I went to work and started calling around for a replacement... took me four hours, but eventually I was able to make it to the "fast track" health centre. Not sure why it's called the fast track, I was still there for 3 hours waiting to hear "it's damage to your tendons. take it easy for a week, immobilize it and drug yourself every few hours to get the swelling down." Funny, that's what I'd been doing for the past 3 days before I came in...
Today is better, the hand is still puffy, but at least I can move without screaming.

I am enjoying the experience of trying to do things onehandedly though... I planted some tomato plants, gathered some eggs, shaved my legs... and drove my car (standard) and I feel pretty good about it all.

Relay for life is coming up next week... anyone want to sponsor me????

Thursday, May 17, 2007

uh oh...

you know you're spending too much mental energy on a job when ....

this morning my phone rang while I was getting dressed, I was running a little later than usual, but I wasn't yet LATE for work....

I answered the phone "Good morning, Christian Horizons, Lesley speaking."

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

going to africa in my mind....

Out in the backyard is a red mess... the bricks from the tannery have been crushed by the weight of the construction (destruction?) vehicles. It's been spread and laid out baking in the sun, swimming in the rain.... smelling of clay and dust.

There's a road that runs beside the tannery, red field on the right, green trees on the left.... It's filled with potholes... the potholes are developing potholes....

.... And if I squint just right, and tilt my head so I don't see the house at the end of the street... I can pretend I'm in Africa while I bump down the street....

This might be long... but if you sighed reading the above, it's meant for you....

You know you're from Africa when/ or you should be when.......
it doesn't seem right to pay the asking price on anything in a store. If you can't barter for it, it's not worth're appalled that American grocery stores only sell one or two different types of bananas....your parents yell at you for forgetting to use silverware in're going to visit your Grandparents and take you passport ~ just in case you have to find all the non-white people on campus so you can be a minority can lead a 20 minute conversation starting with "walleponaua!!" and keep it going by replying "ehh" in numerous different tone-levels for the next half an hour! (...and have the other person exactly understand what you are saying!!) fear for you life while riding in a Matatu....anywhere! call everyone older then you uncle or'd rather be barefoot and you know that the bloody gooey mess they call beef jerky in the States would never pass for true biltong....every toothpaste is colgate....every soap is surf....every softdrink is coca cola or have uncles and aunts who are younger than outs are nothing new to running water for a day is just another ordinary thing...40 degrees is cold....You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement....four cars are driving parallel to each other on a one-lane road....The smell of freshly rained on mud paths/tarmac is comforting....being an hour late equals being "on time" get car sick cuz the roads just can't have enough potholes!... you pass by someones house and you know what they gonna have for dinner cuz u can pretty much see and/or smell what's can bribe a cop and get away with it! have an over whelming urge to wash all your salad in milton (baby bottle bleach, supposedly kills cholera) and add a bit of charcoal to your milk just to get the taste your used to....You know that the police isn't always the safest place to go when you're in trouble....Cramming 7 passengers in a 4 passenger taxi is really not a big know never to question what you're eating (even if it does taste good), cuz sometimes you just don't want to invite people for a get together at 7 and they all come at is played with some sort of ROUND ball and WITHOUT hands....everyone in your country plays cram 24 people into a 14 passenger matuatu and have never felt closer to your African make friends with the local Shepard and know the goats by name....carry purell like it's your life spent countless hours shining your shoes when u know very well that by the time you get to the taxi stop, they'll be covered in unbelievable dirt! keep converting the value of things in your home currency when u see the dollar value....a plane flies by and you just cant help but look up!... you have another name in your home language.... you hate American corn, because it's never hard enough.... you've drunk real chai, not this coffeeshop stuff. (AMEN!) remember being so confused about how you could pay for something with a know you are from Africa when you have put Vaseline in your hair to be like your African friends..and your Mom has to take it out with OMO and Kerosene! expect people to tell you they're fine before you ask used to shower under the rain....someone is riding their bike down the road with corrugated iron strapped width wise across the back of the bike and its taking up more than half of the miss rain on a corrugated iron roof; it's so loud you have to shout to be've been proposed to while walking down the street (if you're a girl, that is, lol) know what true hospitality and generosity is...when those who have almost nothing still welcome you in with open arms and are willing to share everything they have with you - even though they barely know you!...someone asks you how much your sister costs....your brother tries to sell you to his college roommate for 36 cows or goats......You unwrap all your gifts carefully, so that you can reuse the wrapper....You call a person you've never met before uncle or aunt....more than 90% of the music CD's and cassettes in your home are illegal have almost always carry overweight baggage when traveling by plane....Nobody in your family informs you that they are coming over for a visit....You only make telephone calls at a cheaper rate at night...You never have less than 20 people to meet you at the airport or see you off even if it is a local flight....someone offers seven cows for your infant sisters future hand in learn the native words for "white person" everywhere you go, because you hear it shouted everywhere you go....something that would normally take half an hour in the Western world takes a few days or weeks...and if it didn't it just wouldn't be find it completely natural to have burglar-bars outside your know the DSTV channels by known not to question the contents of your food when it tastes bought your cellphone through your car window...chicken is a wonder why there aren't any herds of cows and goats walking down the street in North can smell the rain before it can look up at the sky and see every star clearly...the sunset is something to look forward miss the the sound of rain on your tin roof at night, the after-rain smell, and the spectacular lightning shows....the only thing you throw away is avacado stones, and even then you wonder if you should save them and plant a tree...every white thing you own has permently turned a curious shade of orange...everywhere you walk children run up to you shouting, 'how are you! how are you, how are you?' mzungu! mzungu!...You spend as little time as possible in the toilet, and can hold your breath for amazing lengths of always drink your drink straight away in front of the shop, and give them the bottle spray 'Doom' in your tent before going to bed....when americans tell you that the "chai" you're drinking isn't real because it's not indian, and they think it's tea with milk. it's milk with´re NOT in Africa and you miss everything everybody else mentioned so much it dream about Africa - a lot. think of giving up trying to convince people of what it´s really like - even though they really do try, they often just don´t understand.... you expect to be able to buy roast corn, fried meat or fish, boiled yams or cassava etc whilst you are travelling on public transport....having mud-orange feet is normal.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Another letter... to the letter Q

Dear Q,

I was falling asleep the other night listening to your repeat performance... you know, that time of day when there's no better programing so they play you again... and though it's nice to have you at a slightly different time of day, it's still not a time that's accessible.
But that's not why I'm writing...
see, I figure, if you're going to advertise that you're on a second time of day, and then play the EXACT same show you just did a few hours earlier... I think maybe you should edit out the line "live show".
Just a little thing really.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

the cat

I'm here to tell you about the loss of a cat.
not just any cat... the perfect cat.

You see, our "Belle" has moved far far away (name changed for her protection), and her hubby travels quite a bit with work, and being as Belle is such a cat person she thought it wise to find herself a kitten to become her dear friend. Belle's mom tried to convince her to take one of their old decrepit cats to her new home... but being as they are eighteen zillion years in age... each. She thought it wise not to subject one to a 15 hour car trip ... nor to separate these long time friends.
(I interrupt this story here with a note about the family pets... they are all odd. For example, I often can't remember their dog's name... as it is so often referred to as "stink" - the dog who burps.)
So Belle took it upon herself to wander down to the cat sanctuary in her town, and picked out this pretty little kitty, and brought it home with her. It should be noted here that this cat sanctuary is the cream of the crop in kitty headquarters. Condos for the Kitty's, giant scratching posts... any home is likely to be a step down (as noted by my friend).
So the pretty kitty came home with sweet Belle, and they tried to settle into a routine with one another.... but it just wasn't meant to be. Something wasn't quite... right.

in fact... something was just a little too.... perfect.
It was the perfect cat....
It had no issues...
And so it was returned.

If anyone in the Franklin TN area has a cat with some psychological issues could you please leave me a message, and I'll hook it up with Belle?

Monday, May 07, 2007

to add insult to ... er.. no, just insulting.

I don't know who should be taking it worse... me? or the folk singers?

Today was my day off... Mondays are my ONLY official day off, I also get every other weekend. How did I spend this day? Mostly in my Pj's playing puzzle pirates... a little Jack a la 24, then off to my car to visit Dalton before going to my Dad's.

My car.

I walked to my car. The door wasn't closed properly. Which isn't normal, as my door frame leaks a little, so I'm always careful to close it fully. Also not normal... my CD case sitting on my seat. Also not normal, my sunglasses case sitting on the seat. Also not normal, my registration in the back seat. Also not normal, the console open.

Someone broke into my car!

And by "broke into" I mean, they opened the door... I don't lock it, I don't have time to get the window fixed were it to be shattered. I immediately opened the trunk... *phew* drum still there, CD player still there, Krazy Karpet still there. Nothing missing from the trunk. I go back to the driver's side... and tally the loss. One pair of sunglasses (3 years old) and $1.75 in Canadian Tire money (which I'd counted at the car wash the other day).
Not too bad.

So at first I felt violated... someone went into my space and took my stuff.
Then I was insulted.... what? they don't like my taste in music?

Sunday, May 06, 2007

and now I know

And you know what?
it's not quite "flip flops on your bike" weather, but it sure is "step on the first snail of the year" weather.


(ok, so not all links may have to do with the first snail squash of the year... apparently I didn't think it necessary to record for all of humanity before last year)

Another great first .... campfire. I was reluctant to bathe before leaving for church this morning... the smoke was still clinging to my hair and making me smile.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

poor toes

I discovered for the second morning in a row... that it's not quite "flip-flops on your bicycle" type weather.

Friday, May 04, 2007

an open letter to the letter Q

Dear Q,
I have something to say.

I don't think that it's right that you advertise a "new Friday format" when in fact... you are only two weeks old. Things that are two weeks old have no real format to begin with, so you can't have a "NEW" one.

That's all.

Ps. I think you should be on later in the day.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

small change? spare change? project change....

So, I've decided as per my "feeling guilty over the environment" stage passing.... I'm going to not feel guilty, but feel good about the things I can do to make a change, and I'm going to try to make a change each month in my life that will impact the way I live (however small) changes that will impact my "footprint" size...
hey... there's a huge difference between a well fitting shoe and one that's half a size too small... If I can make even a half size difference that'd be cool with me.

SO on that note... what am I changing, what have I changed?

Last month was April... where the frig did the month go?

So, last month the roomie and I moved the bucket.


we moved the bucket into the tub.

huh? you're not back to bucket baths again are you?

we moved the bucket into the tub to catch the drips. And to catch the water that we waste while we run the water to the right temperature before a shower. I catch about one bucketful before I get it right. And then I leave it there to catch the drips from the faucet while I shower... and that crazy trickle after I turn off the water.... It surprised me how much was "going down the drain" (har har har). So... I've lots of options on this bucket of water I'm producing each morning... my plants are getting lots of water now.
AND (and this is my favorite) (as partly stolen from Mandamanda)
As we're already subscribing to the "if it's yellow let it mellow" train of thought.... That bucket of water is going towards one fill up of the back of the tank after a flush.... pretty neat. pretty simple.

So... what about May?

I'm getting a brick. For the toilet. Knowing full well that the landlord would never go for a better toilet... I'm putting a brick in the tank to decrease the volume that it holds... in my experimenting with the bucket, I noticed that the bowl was flushed fully after 2/3 of the water had gone thru.... that's 1/3 a tank of wasted water.
Also...the bike is on the road...