Sunday, May 25, 2014

Crash and boom

I nearly died this week.

We've been waiting for rain. The weather network has misled me time and time again this week. No real rain has come. My rain barrel is empty.
So on day three of rain warnings, I took the dog to the beach.

It was a low and foggy morning. My hair was in ringlets from the humidity but it still wouldn't rain.

I felt like I was walking in a cloud. The fog was so thick, I couldn't see 50 metres ahead. The dog was happy to run like a fool and kept nearish... I had a lot of treats in my pocket.

There are still so many midges down at the beach, and since there wasn't a tonne of wind that morning they hung in columns... and since it was foggy, I kept walking into them... so gross.

We walked to the west end of the beach and then headed down to the east point, our usual routine. We passed an eager couple. .. they looked like little kids, gleefully heading into the mist. I felt as bubbly and happy as they looked.... seriously, it's not often you get to walk on the inside of a cloud.

And then I felt them.
The freakin midges.
In my hair.

I started to lose my mind wiping at my hair. My scalp was crawling with the stupid little bugs. I don't know how many of them I've inhaled this year, and they were trying to get back at me for the death of their cousins. No matter what I did though, I couldn't stop them. They were everywhere. Crawling.  In my hair.

I couldn't actually find any of them. I mean, my scalp was crawling with them, lifting my hair, but my hands weren't finding them no matter how I picked at them.

I got all tech and pulled out my phone, desperate to find and rid myself of the squirmy feeling. I turned my camera to selfie mode and aimed at my scalp.... there were no bugs! I was so confused. I looked closer. No bugs anywhere!
I'd been swatting at my head for the past minute for nothing! 

As I pulled the camera away... that's when I noticed it.
My hair, all the crazy short pieces and wispy ends, was standing on end.
I lowered my hand holding the phone slowly and placed it in my pocket... and suddenly...


The loudest and closest thunder that I've heard in a long long time.

Monday, May 12, 2014


Know when you're laughing so hard you can't breathe. Or think. Or move. Or stop crying. Or stay continent?

I was out with dear friends for dinner and shopping on saturday night, well... we had dinner, apparently the stores close early on Saturday? 

Anyway,  I often forget past details. I've written about this before. I instead remember everything about the detail except the actual thing I need to remember.

So, we are out and I'm trying to remember the name of a musician who looks like someone I've recently met... except the person is a more handsome version.

Me: I can't remember his name. But I remember his albums...
(in my head- There's one with an apple. No.. I ate a lot of apples when I was first listening to the album... I can't tell them that part... ok... there's a lightbulb on the album...)
um... illuminate? Musician... 1997... '98,  uh.. goat boy... he kind of looks like a goat. Lots of hair. He played at Canada's wonderland.

Manda: I thought he was bald? I just assumed he was bald.

Me: um... uhuh uhuhuh.

Manda and Jen: what?

Me: his name! There are syllables!

Them: what?!

Me: clap clap   clap clap clap He has syllables!

At this point I'm trying to back my car into my driveway... but I'm laughing so hard there's no noise, and I'm trying not to pee myself... and I cant see because tears are streaming out of my eyes and my sunscreen is burning my eyes...

Thank goodness I live on a quiet street with no traffic... it took me a good 20 seconds to get the car out of the middle of the street.

Thursday, May 08, 2014

You GET me.

Slightly offensive, but pretty funny.

I love my people.
I had a nice dose of time with a few today, but the thing that made my heart swell with love was a message I received on Facebook.

      "I didn't have the nerve to post this on your wall, but it made me laugh. And think of you"

Wednesday, May 07, 2014

The sacred spaces

I was feeling pretty stressed by the time I left work tonight. Carrying too many thoughts and worries.

I did get the job.. so that's a huge amazing thing, but now until my old contract is filled, we're a little strapped for relief staff. Add the fact that another staff has moved and one full time staff is in the hospital and another is starting a vacation to Cuba... well..  I'm booked for 10 shifts in a row and it's looking like I could be asked to extend that and work my entire weekend off again.... making it a run of 13. I've done longer before, but I'm really trying to be aware of my emotional capacity for ...everything... it suffers when I don't have a day off.

So anyway... I was feeling worn. I nearly cried when I realized I might have to work Sunday in addition to Saturday. And my coworkers saw that, so I was feeling stupid for being so effected. Yes I'm excited about the full time contract but it took a lot out of me this past week wondering/waiting to hear. I didn't really have a back up plan.

But then... on my way home I remembered about a little group that was meeting at the firehall theatre... a little group of people getting together to sing. Taking time to work on audition pieces or songs from shows they might be in.

I turned my car around and went.

It was a small group. I'd missed the first half/warm-up.  But there were hugs. And smiles. And encouraging words. And singing. Together.

And I found an audition piece.

And I still don't know if I can even be part of the next show with my work schedule,  but I have people I can sing with, blend voices with, meet in that sacred space where sound comes out and blends and bends and is beautiful and is one.

So things are good.

My heart is full again.

More poking

I blame Henny.
She's a bit of a pecker.
She's now pecked two eggs in her life enough to puncture through the shell and the membrane. Today she just happened to peck one of the hatching eggs. Thanks jerkface. 

When I told a friend who knows me really well, she responded "by jerk [you] really mean sweet!"

So today I got to break a day 6/7 egg.

I was a little more careful breaking this one... did I mention the watery whites? I may have gotten squirted last time. Sadly Henny's pecking had broken the yolk sac too. This one was actually dead.

The yolk mixed with the whites making things harder to see this time. But if you google day 6 or 7 images of a chick's development. .. you'll literally get the picture.

I fed it to Ruebendog.
I should have thought quickly though... he lapped up all the goo, I totally could have gotten a better look at the egg alien before it too was licked out of the bowl.

Monday, May 05, 2014

Get me my poking stick.

Warning: vegans and some squeamish vegetarians may want to skip this post. Farmers and sciencey folks will be happy.

So I toy back and forth with the idea of eating my laying birds in the fall and buying new layers in the spring. With a tiny flock like mine, financially it works out to be about the same- $35 to feed the girls through the winter, or about the same to pick up 3 ready to lay birds in the spring... and I wouldnt have to spend time fighting a losing battle with ice and snow to keep them happy.
Two things hold me back, Cheepers is way more pet than potential food... the second reason is related, if I'm standing on principle that the birds are pets not livestock for the bylaw changes, I probably shouldn't eat the rest of my "pets" (until the changes to the bylaw happen.... )

Anyway, last week I decided to try hatching some eggs under my broody Cheepers. I got some fertilized eggs from the Mack's farm and marked them with a pencil before putting them under her.
That was Wednesday night.
I was clear that I took too many eggs early on. When one of the other girls would lay an egg, Cheepers would scoop it up too... pushing out one of the fertilized eggs from under her to make room. I took away one of the eggs the first day. Ruebendog ate it.

Sunday night I went out to the coop to get the eggs that had been layed that day, when I reached in the nest box I found that Cheepers had managed to scoop all three new eggs, and one of the hatching eggs was pushed aside. Cold.
No sense in leaving a now dead egg in the nest... it would just stink if I left it too long, so I brought it inside for Rueben,  figuring it would have a gross red spot in it, but he wouldn't care.

I failed to realize how quickly eggs develop.

I mean. Eggs are amazing.
They get layed,  and if they are fertilized they stop developing if the temperature drops below 80... and they just sit in stasis until the temperature goes back up. This means mamma hen can lay an egg every day for a few days, then get broody and sit on those eggs... And they'll all hatch on the same day!!!

So. My eggs were layed on Wednesday by a number of different birds, they were sat on Wednesday night... Sunday night...
4 days in (5 if you count that they were laid that morning and didn't really drop too far in temperature)

The first thing I noticed when I cracked the cold dead egg was that the white had changed consistency.  It was really runny. Like water. When it dropped into the dog dish I realized two other things.... I had no idea how long it took for a chick to develop... there in the dish was a tiny chick shaped blob about two millimeters in size... with a giant eyeball, and two bright red veins that reached well out into the white of the egg...

So gross.

So of course I poked at it.

About a second later I realized that a cold egg doesn't mean it's a dead egg.

At 5 days it had a heart.

A light fluttering heart making those tiny veins pulse.

I freaked out and fed it to the dog.

Be still beating heart.

The worst part is... I want to break open all the eggs one by one now to see how far they've developed each day.

Sunday, May 04, 2014


I visit every week... I have for years now.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the one who could have written them all.
And then there are weeks where I don't connect with any of them.

Thursday confessionals grew out of my love for post secret. We are all people. We all do weird things and hurt and love and eat and sleep and shit.
Love people.
Why not?

Saturday, May 03, 2014

Flip drip

I totally indulged at the book sale today.
I didn't over indulge, I came away with 6 books for me to read and pass on to the library, and two sweet little books to go right into the kids' section.

I've spent most of today looking forward to curling up on the couch with one of the new books. Well... that and dreaming of a nap in my non-existent hammock... but whatever.

As soon as I got home I let the dog out, grabbed some pillows, found a bookmark, and grabbed the first book from the bag. Then I let the dog in for story time. Story time because I've been finding my focus has been so bad lately that I need to read out loud to follow a story. The dog settled in and I got up.... grabbed the Kleenex box. I settled in... got back up for the trash can... I settled in again.... and read for a few pages... and then realized I was out of breath.

After a two day reprieve from allergies,  I was hit full force again tonight. Can't read out loud for too long because I have to breathe though my mouth!

Also I sucked two of those aweful little "no seeums" into my lungs when I was out for a walk tonight. The first one because I was breathing through my mouth (because of the allergies), the second when I started coughing and choking after sucking in the first bug.

Ok. I'm done complaining.  Honest.

Friday, May 02, 2014

Air waves

There's been some talk between myself and a dear friend about the possibility of starting our own radio program. Have I mentioned this before?

Mostly it would be hilarious, and when we tell people about the idea, they seem to agree that it would be awesome and they would even tune in.

Our town started it's own radio station. All volunteers,  it reminds me of a university or college radio station.  You never know what you're going to hear. One guy will make a comment about the weather... while not actually having looked outside all day or even glanced at a forecast.

Or someone will put the programming to "random" and you'll end up listening to a 60's piece, Aengus, then some serious opera, then a cowboy tune, then the Killers all in a row.
I text Aengus every time they play him.... because, why not?

Tonight I was singing along to "does your chewing gum loose it's flavour on the bed post overnight"  then "footloose" while we drove back from IKEA in the work van.

I tried to explain to my coworker about the station, how sometimes it's on random, and sometimes it's loosely connected... but when I got home tonight the Dj just... um... nailed it?

"I've got a run of ten songs coming up next... and they've all got one thing in common... it's a loose thread but they all have one tiny syllable in common... they all have one syllable names!"
"First up, a tune by "Ben Fold's Five"....

I was already laughing when the song started, so I still don't know if the dj swore on air because he realized his clever tie-in was ruined with the first song, or because the band dropped the F bomb in the second line.

I love radio.