Tuesday, December 15, 2009


I have a lot to be thankful for....

a quick recap::
I got the keys to my hobbit house. a gaggle of people showed up to clean. hobbits and honorary hobbits helped to tear things down, rebuild them, patch them, sand them wash them again and paint them.

there is one completely livable room in the house.
and I have plumbing.
and the kitchen will be built next week.

and I haven't lost my sanity... completely... yet.

thank you hobbits. you really are the best.


do you ever get so happy for someone your heart might burst?

my friend has been silent for a long time, their heart heavy. afraid to put things to life. but lately my friend has stood on top of fears. and is creating again.


Thursday, November 19, 2009


the plague of phlegm has settled into my lungs.
thank you swine flu.
I sound a lot worse than I feel.

Saturday, we jump back into festival mode (already?... no. still.) with an all day debrief.... you know, before we start planning for next September. (I've got 1/3 of my workshops figured out already for the sustainable living village, and a few leads on ideas for the wellness village).

Ukes and Toques is ready to roll out this sunday, see you at the parade?

AND 10 sleeps till I get the keys to my house.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

more fuzz

all but 2 back nails are now trimmed. no casualties.

In other news....
NUke-O had an extra gathering tonight, getting ready for the big "Toques and Ukes" event. (We're in the 'Burg's chirstmas parade!)
A really fun night tonight... I love that some other people have stepped up to lead this... it's such a funny group of people... with more than 50 years between our oldest and youngest members. You never know what direction things are going to go in.

Plans are in the works for "the hobbit house concert series".... first guest to be announced soon!

Monday, November 09, 2009

fuzz butt

it came to a smack-down between myself and Sir Pontouff Pony this evening.
I've come to realize that the poor fuzz pot, as large and disproportionate as he is... has a difficult time getting at his own tail.
tonight, armed with scissors and patience,
I was able to whittle it down to a third of it's size.
a more... natural looking size.

the giant tufts of fur, large matts nearly the size of my fist... reminded me of "the teddy bear" littlebits used to sport on the back of her head. For those of you who weren't around in those years, my little sister had dreadlocks.... with one strangely shaped clump hidden underneath. It had a name.

Naturally, since poor 'Touf was upside down and couldn't do too much about it, I worked my way around to one of his oddly shaped feet. His feet wouldn't be so oddly shaped if he'd bother to groom them too. He seems to like to drag around clumps of fur the size of FynnPants.

Fur Kankles. Fankles?

I managed to clear one leg before the squirming started. Squirming isn't a problem if you're holding a normal rabbit. If you're holding a Flemish Giant, it means the grooming session is nearly over. In the first giant kick, I was pulling on the last of a clump of fur, unfortunately it meant that it tore his skin! A tiny tear, but I imagine it hurt a heck of a lot. Enough that he flipped over unexpectedly... and managed to get a nail stuck in my sweater - one more kick and he tore the nail off.
Poor giant bunny.
Some forced cuddles and a quick check, no dripping blood *phew*, the Kangaroo was back in his mansion drinking water and hopping around.

Other than a few dirty looks (rabbits are disapproving after all) I think all is well.

Tomorrow I'll attack the other foot, and maybe get those nails trimmed!

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Status lines...

this evening, I'm procrastinating.
there's about 3 large things that need to be done, one of them is sleeping. But instead... I'm giggling about my own status lines.

I should really get this other stuff done.

But there's a large rabbit thundering around the house. An open jar of home made tart applesauce (or maybe it's botulism?). A perfect temperature cup of tea. Fuzzy slippers. A Uke (or two) within arm's reach. And the score from the play beside me.

I woke up this morning at work (in the group home- NOT at my desk!) and realized, it's only 24 more sleeps till I get the hobbit house. Then I realized.... I'll have my little hobbit house, and I'll be starting into a row of sleep shifts at the group home...

I feel a little mixed over this.. getting my house and not being able to be there... but then again, it smells so bad right now (it's occupied by 3 cats and their owners), it's probably for the best that it has a few days to air out before I actually move in for real. Cleaning is the first priority.

Bucket and bleach please.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

More Art

This is a post by the lovely Tanya Davis,
If you're interested in participating, you can send her your answers...

Sadness Survey needs you
I think a lot about sadness.. the happy kind, the tragic kind, the vulnerable kind... I write about it, too. And sing about it. And I talk about it... sometimes. Because people don't always like to talk about sadness. Why not? I don't know. So, I'm exploring that and I;m exploring sadness in general - an alternative research project, so to speak. I'm going to include some of my findings in an audio piece I'm making as a participant in the Centre for Art Tapes Media Arts Scholarship Program. It's somewhat of a docupoem.

So, if you want to take the time to answer some of my questions, that would be quite wonderful. Any of your feedback that I end up including in my audio piece will be anonymous (although I don't know how to make your comments on my note anonymous on facebook and only for me to see.. if you want to answer the questions but don't want others to read your answers, please feel free to write to me in a provate message). And I will only be using bits and pieces of what I can collect here, in a sound mosaic.

Les questions:

1. What is sadness?

2. What does it feel like?

3. What makes you sad?

4. What do you do when you're sad? Where do you go? Who, if anyone, do you talk to?

5. Do you find sadness easy to talk about? Difficult? Why?

6. What does sadness sound like?

7. Do you cry? Do you cry easily? Do you cry often? What does that feel like?

8. When was the last time you cried? What did you cry about?

9. When were you the most sad? Why?

10. What are the different ways you experience sadness? Can you put a name to them (ex. tragic sad, tender sad, beautiful sad, depressed sad...)?

11. Do you enjoy sadness at all, ever? Why or why not?

12. Comments, extras: please feel free to include any extra points you want to make here about sadness. Or answers to questions I never asked. Or comments or little stories. I would love to hear it..

Thank you for taking the time to write about this. I very much appreciate it.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


This might be repetitive if you have access to the Classrunner page...

Tonight was a rehearsal night (I still want to write reHAIRsal) for Sweeney Todd. I'm still feeling a disconnect- we don't all get together often (yet?) and I still don't know every one's names... and there's even three or four people I haven't spoken to yet. crazy.
I'm trying to make sure that I get to know some of the people who weren't in last year's show. But- I'm not good with that sort of thing.

um, thank you for putting up with my awkwardness.

Things feel like they are moving REALLY fast though. (and I don't mean the speed of the numbers... HOLY! those songs have lot of words... and too few bars to put them in!) We were blocked for a big chunk of the first act tonight... it feels weird not to be on the stage all the time (like with Hair) but I guess this is the new normal.

make sure you save some time to see the show! last week of Feb, first week of March (it only seems like it's far away now)


dear slightly odd person.
I'm not sure if you're shy, or a serial killer. Please advise me as how to proceed.
thank you,
the bird blinder.

Monday, October 19, 2009


I'm still sitting and trying to recover from this weekend... which, I might add... was a mighty fine weekend. One great experience after another.
have I mentioned the term "best year ever" enough yet?

I was a lucky chosen delegate to OCFF in Ottawa this weekend. Now, it's definitely one of those "you're never gonna get it till you go there" type things- but just try to take my word when I say it was AWESOME.

OCFF is a conference of sorts- held to bring together the people who make folk festivals happen- for networking and information sharing (and a whole lot more). It's also the place you want to go if you're a musician who wants to be heard... and maybe hired.. by all those festival type people. There are panel discussions (I was a panelist!), board level stuff, training things, musician development, festival development, a gala dinner, awards, interviews... and showcases.

oh my... there are showcases.

I think if it wasn't for the generosity of JessPugs letting me stay at her house the first night- I might not have ever left the building on the weekend.

Showcases operate on two levels at OCFF- there are the sponsored ones- they run during the day and into the late evening... (think: awesome 25 minute concerts running all day long back to back) then... just before midnight.... the guerrilla showcases start... several floors in the hotel dedicated to showcase rooms... (think: hotel room with beds pushed around for seating for 20 people) each room hosting several musicians each night... till 4am.

did I mention there were about 900 people at this? most of them musicians?

there were so many "highlights" that I don't even know where to start.... every time I turned around I was excited to see someone I hadn't seen in awhile, or who's music I've been listening to on the radio this year... I tried my very best to sit in on showcases of people I'd never heard before (or at least who I hadn't heard live before) and found quite a few new (to me) musicians that I'm going to purchase music from.

ok, mini highlight list (big highlights in small form)

-played bartender for a few hours in the Ukulele Speakeasy Showcase
(super awesome... James Hill showed up) (I wasn't the barkeep at that point, but VERY VERY cool to have him there)
-got to sing WITH some musicians I look up to (ok, unsolicited singing... along with them during showcases)
-heard 24 hours of GOOD if not awesome music ... live in one weekend.
-sat in on 4 shows that received standing ovations
-cried from the beauty of music
-saw old friends I didn't expect to see
-rented an awesome car to drive to Ottawa in (with a working radio that happened to pick up a station relaying a radio program featuring an hour of Jake Shimabukuro)
-ate breakfast with Sharon Lois and Bram
-got to have dinner with one half of my favourite song writing duo
-sat with the other half of my favourite song writing duo at a showcase
-sat literally at the feet of James Hill and Anne while they played

yup, all in all... great weekend.

public service announcement.

a small thing really.
this isn't directed at anyone in particular, it's just something I've been noticing.
or maybe I've noticed it for a long time, but I just don't have the patience to deal with it anymore?
is it possible for people to lose the ability to please people all the time... or rather lose the need to please?.. to be kind? to pretend to care?
or maybe I'm getting old and cranky?
I'm becoming less gracious? perhaps.
or maybe I just expect some equality.

or... and this is likely what it is.. maybe I've reached a point where I know what brings me joy, and what takes it from me, and I'm becoming comfortable enough in my own skin to recognize that which steals my joy has no place in my life.

but, I digress...

if in fact you are an incredibly negative person, and the only topic of conversation you can think of ends up being a complaint about something... or someone... that's fine. but please allow others the same courtesy they've offered you in lending their ear. if they are frustrated with something and bother sharing their frustration, don't try to prove everything they say wrong or tell them they are wrong to think that way. eventually, those people listening to you ... are either going to lose their own joy, or they're going to stop talking to you altogether.

hey, remember when you used to write as though you were two different people on your blog?

yeah, I sure do

those were good times weren't they?

they were likely confusing times

yeah... I suppose so.

so pretty....

Why Do We Hunger for Beauty
Music and Lyric by Jim Croegaert

Dark are the branches
Reaching for light
High is the path of
The hawk in its flight
Turning and gliding
Greeting the night
Why do we hunger
For beauty so right
Why do we hunger for beauty

Moon hanging lonely
Up there in the sky
Looking so holy
Like a host held up high
And off in the distance
There’s a train going by
Why does it move us
And cause us to sigh
Why do we hunger for beauty

Frost on the window
Is never the same
So many patterns
Fit in the frame
Captured in motion
Frozen in flame
And in the patterns
Is there a name
Why do we hunger for beauty

-I'm a big fan of Steve Bell's version... always have been (live is always better). this guy can play- I'm sure I've written about him and the ways he's influenced me in the past... he's lovely.


Thursday, October 15, 2009

chilly bike ride...

I'm just sitting at the kitchen table, Ohana in my lap- trying to pluck out Christmas tunes, when the phone rings....
it's George.
lovely George.
of the George's Guitars.
and he says....
my Banjolele is nearly fixed!!

so, I hop on my bike and race down the frozen street to give her a little try....

she looks so pretty!!!

he's just going to dress up some of the wonky frets, and she should be ready to play by next week!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009



so thank you for baring with me over the past little while as I've swung thru moods like Tarzan thru the jungle. the rants about a house and peer groups and puppies and ovaries and the like... it's mostly been because of the crazy ride getting to this point... after a few false starts over the past few months...

and now that the sign is up on the lawn... I can truly say... I bought a house!

(ok so facebook land and anyone near BethSheff has known for awhile)

and it only took me three years of saying "I'm buying a house"

one year of looking seriously

and four months of offers on things that just didn't pan out.

I went to my real estate agent back in April and gave him my list of "wants" (which he kind of laughed at, I was pretty particular)... and a few weeks ago we got to the point where he tried to talk me into a condo just so I'd stop wasting money on rent...

and then we found it. (Best year ever)

and, not to trump the news, but ... (um, if you're a relative and you're just hearing this for the first time.. um... don't worry, you're getting a phone call)

Dad and Gale got married today! Welcome to the family Gale :)

Monday, October 12, 2009

350 degrees for 45 mins

best part of my day today... (other than a railside breakfast with Manda, and hanging with the very soon to be step-niece) ...

was coming into work and seeing the casserole dish on the desk.

Yesterday while working, I made dessert to go with tonight's meal... apple crisp. I peeled and sliced the apples, made the crisp, then wrapped it up and left it in the fridge so they could cook it after cooking the turkey....

I came into work, looked at the half-eaten crisp and started laughing...

they didn't cook it.
but they ate it.

too funny.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009


sometimes. you might get to the point where you just need some time to be selfish. where there's been a lot going on, and you're in the middle of something else, and something is presented to you as an opportunity to shine and do good. and ya just don't want to.

I've been having a number of those lately, but my inner self starts screaming so loudly at me, that I have to give in, because there's just no peace in it.

take yesterday. I'm at work. I'm supporting someone working in the town hall. But, he's at the "phase out" point in his job. I do check ins on him every 15 mins right now.. not nearly enough time to go back to the office, or accomplish anything. so, I sit. and read. or more recently, write.

The front lobby of the town hall is this huge echoing space, lined with benches. I plunk myself onto one, and pull out my day timer to look up something. A woman creeps into the building, pushing her walker... and in this giant empty room... sits so close to me I have to move over - she's nearly on my lap.

don't look up.
don't make eye contact
keep flipping thru

I sit for the next 15 mins. I say maybe 3 words the entire time. I hear the same two stories told three times. inaconstantflowofwordsandnotonebreathistakenandidon'tknowifthiswomanhastalkedtoanyoneyettodayorifi'mthefirst....


Monday, October 05, 2009

pomegranates and butter tarts

I was sure I was getting kicked out of the library today because of pomegranates.

This afternoon I worked a placement at the public library in Happytown. Hope Town. The P-dot. I'm supporting two individuals who want to learn how to use the library better, more independently. SO, I teach them how to use things there. Today, we spent about ten minutes just learning how to use, and then practicing, the bar code scanner for the library cards.... pretty funny stuff. I get my people set up online, and they are both working on emails to their sisters.
And then... along comes Babba.
Babba... aka Pader, aka... many other names.... is one of Happytown's most awesome characters. I'd love to write about him... but I'm afraid I wouldn't do him justice. He's lovely. And he's a little rough around the edges. And sometimes a little crude. Ok, sometimes really crude. But cares about people. And even though some of the most shocking things come out of his mouth- it is for shock, and sometimes to draw you away from the truth about something else he's touched on... but one of the nicest guys. He'll do anything.. for anyone.
Anyway. Babba finds me in the Library.
Babba- My Friend Marie! (he always calls me by my middle name) I have got something for you today, I brought it. I thought I would see you. You go for a smoke?
Me- Sorry Babba, I don't smoke. I try very hard not to smoke.
B- oh. oh. ok, we go to the stacks.
M- ?
B- here, here by the books, I want to film you.
M- um.. no. (laughing)
B- What? you scared?
M- Yes. I'm scared. it's my first time. (note: you can't help but be just as crude right back)
B- (laughing) I've got you a Pomegranates, like in my video, with my grandson, I teach you to eat it right. just a leetle bite, then you suck the juice and ... MAMA!
M- (still laughing) you have contraband items in the library Babba.
B- come here....

so now we're hiding in the video section. One of Babba's friends is giving him the stink eye, but laughing from across the room. Babba is trying to teach me how to squish the Pomegranate, and bite the tiniest hole in it... there's a pretty funny language barrier thing going on thru this whole section... and Babba seems to be worried I'm going to mess the library up... or my shirt... and tries to give me a map book to use as a bib. I manage to get the map book away from him.
But by this point, I'm nearly hyperventilating trying not to laugh loudly. Stink eye- from across the room is laughing pretty hard now. Babba doesn't even try to be quiet... the loud stage whisper he's using to speak to me with can be heard all the way to the front desk.

eventually, I find out it's got to be the most tiny hole, just nipped... and that I've got to be careful because it will explode.. but I can't seem to bite it because it's so soft, it's bending away from my teeth... I get this tiny spot ripped, but not all the way through.... and Babba starts squeezing the pom... it explodes. Thankfully, mostly into my mouth and not all over the carpet.

Babba giggles and runs off to charm the woman at the front desk.
Thankfully it works, and there's not even a hint of anger over the food, juice, noise.

M- you probably should have been filming that
B- I know. it was going to be a great movie.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

weekend escape to your roots?

The second annual Naptown Scarecrow fest was this weekend, so I decided to make it tradition by driving down the highway and crashing on Toto's couch.... this year however, I managed to avoid working in the local coffee shop (last year was a case of poor timing on my part- though, I did have a lot of fun).
Music, cows, scarecrows, shopping, horses, pumpkins, shopping, visits with old friends, making new friends, shopping, taking my time.

I needed to remove myself from home for awhile. And it worked out just fine...

Best parts of the day had to have been the moments that reminded me how small (but lovely) Naptown really is... I was sitting in the coffee shop, deciding if it was time to have lunch, when a woman walked in. She called out to TimSheff and asked if his sister had been in yet. He yelled back that he hadn't. Then she called out "did elbow show up?" (but used my name obviously) he looked at her funny, then pointed at me. I had no idea who she was.
She's still on the far side of the shop at this point.... and calls out asking me a question about something I'd done the day before....
a little later on...
I'm in a shop, the salesgirl recognizes me as someone who's been in the shop in the past, and remembers that I'm from out of town... and proceeds to tell me about the three new shops in town that I need to go visit....
So... I go visit the first one... and the lady behind the counter starts chatting with me (I was going to say "at me" but.. I was involved in the conversation, I didn't shut it down). Anyway, I eventually make a purchase, and the woman behind the counter says "now honey, every sale comes with a hug!" and comes out from behind the counter and gives me a great big bear hug! "thanks for the conversation!" she hollers as I walk out the door....

lol.. too funny.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

2.5 > 1.5

easy math.

I'm back to running. After countless injuries and ailments, I've decided- the pain is worth it, I'm turning into a giant sloth otherwise.

So, last injury was over 5 weeks ago (poor little ankle, will you ever be whole?) I took some Advil profolacticly, and hit the street.

hahahhahaha!!! whew! that was funny.
In my mind, I'm right where I left off, 5 km? easy peasy!
I wanted to cry by block number 2.
I gave up a little over 1km

Tonight, on my way home from the bank, poor little ankle decided to turn again.
Thank you sidewalk.
However, other than me nearly crashing to the ground (there was a building I was able to fall into instead) and the SEARING pain for about 5 mins... my ankle's better than it's been in weeks... I don't know if I knocked something into place? slid a tendon back to where it belongs? Stretched something on the other side of it?
who knows...
Either way, I was able to drag my butt 2.5 km tonight, no crying.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


three days left in this stretch of shifts...
mantra, there's a good cause, there's a good cause...

During the Spring and summer, when I took some time off from job number 2 (I took a 5 month leave of absence to regain my sanity) I was so surprised at how short the work week was. I'd NEVER (read: in my 16 years of working) had weekends off.
I had no idea that breaks came so quickly... it was a whole new world! just when you get into the rhythm of being at work.. you have a weekend!
Now that I'm back to the 12 day stretches between weekends, I'm back to my time being spent.
When you have every weekend off, you can choose to do things on the weekend.. but you can also choose to do it the NEXT weekend.
When you're working every other- things get booked. Till there is no weekend.

that said... I'm booking an escape weekend for this coming Saturday... I'm excited.

ok, that'll be my last "work is a lot" post now. I've chosen to go this route.

Monday, September 28, 2009


today I was glad I wasn't an old tree.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Mac attack

it appears that the neighbourhood just got more awesome. Yet another amazing family moved onto the street. I have visions of street parties, campfires, good times. oh, wait.. those already happen.

The bunnies are excited that they've moved in too... 'Touf is in love with their kids, and FynnPants is from their first litter..

what's new?
I'm increasingly frustrated that I don't own my home. I figure I should at least attain one of the "normal" milestones in life that my peer group has set, and at this point I'm fixating on this one.
problems with this...
1) since when do I care about milestones?
2) since when do the people I went to highschool with count as my "peer group"?
3) houses are expensive... a puppy would be cheaper... and much more entertaining
4) I think it's signalling a midlife crisis.

if someone would like to give me a winning lotto ticket, or a farm... it would be much appreciated.
I'm going to go sort some worms.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

back to it all

well, it's official, I'm back to my 2nd job. *sigh*
I'm really hopeful I'll find the rhythm to it all again... right now, it's not happening.

it's 10:20pm on a Saturday night and all I want to do is crawl into bed.
how awesome is that?

Bed in 40 mins.

I decided to start a batch of bread a little too late in the evening.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


A few years ago, I headed to a community theatre production of Sweeney Todd, and fell in love with the show. There were some musical pieces in it that I just loved loved loved... and well, quite a few that sucked. Ok, more than a few. But the potential was there.
It has some seriously challenging pieces... last year, I got to see the movie, and wasn't as impressed, they'd cut quite a few pieces out, and the singing wasn't spectacular.
It's so hard to get a good balance, people who can sing, and people who can act.
I'm not an actor.
I know I can sing a little, and I'm proud of that...

So, I'm excited to say, I'm part of the chorus for the 'Umberland Players production of Sweeney Todd!

I'm doubly excited about the chorus, because I know there's some really challenging bits in there that I'm pumped to have a go at.... annnnnd, I nearly didn't try out for this show, as I didn't want to have the huge time commitment (that last year's show required- when all the cast are on stage for the entire show!). So, as much fun as it would have been to play the part of the beggar lady (which I did try out for) I'm relieved not to be her.
I'm just processing all this right now, but I really feel like I held back at the call-backs too... especially after seeing the calibre of the people at the first audition, I felt like it was a joke that I was trying out for a part.... which is totally fine, "you don't know what you don't know" and I think that going into the audition, I was thinking of last year's cast, and how we would operate for this play... not knowing that 75% of the people at the first audition were totally new to me, if not to Players...

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Late September

I'm not sure where the days are getting to.

A dear friend said right after the festival something about "leaving real life to face the illusion". I don't know if that makes as much sense to others... it fits so well when you start thinking about community ... real community- and comparing it to our day to day.

Spending a lot of time reading old journals, finding old songs that I've forgotten melodies to. Wondering what it was that made me write them...

there's a lot of disappointment ruining your days
things not turning up
only dredging lower than that point you never figured you'd see
bumping your head on the lowest beam
and it's dank like the basement
when you thought you had the moment
or the choice or the chance
and it wasn't
the last thing you want to hear
are the words from that hallmark
even if they're true
you'd rather be
just for now

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

stolen from a little bird

Raven: the last four days in review.

the last four days in review.
on hands and knees in rows of beans
in the morning sun
picking and eating,
looking out on rice lake,
sharing thoughts and ideas and moments of quiet
with beautiful company
and a smiley bean of a baby
perched in a laundry basket.

down country roads
through rolling hills
eating groundcherries
singing along with buddy and julie
with the windows down.

finding home
in a field
among strangers and friends.
music that moves me
inside and out.
sun soaked sweaty skin.
dirty toes.
no sense of time.

eating together.
sleeping together.
living together.
the stories and stresses and gifts and discoveries
that ooze out of such intimacy
and proximity.

full moon at night
fires and songs
and sweet irish cream.
and wipeouts
and moments i wish i could undo
and millions more that i wound never change
even if i could.

journey home
through wild gardens
and secret streams.
blueberry tea in a funny shaped house.
honest conversation,
words that come from the belly
and the heart.
friends that make
even shitty days
worth waking up for.

deep breathes
and no breathes,
tired and sleepless
a jumble
of wakefulness
and wondering.

the fullness
of gratitude.
the richness
of living.
the gift that was just sitting there,

post fest blues, after wearing yellow.

the let down.
after something so lovely.
the sense of time, the loss of time.
makes me wonder, makes me adore, makes me hate, makes me cry- tears of joy, sorrow, release.

so many people working so hard... together, in community, in communion.

I get a little worked up thinking about it still... the million tiny fires we'll never know about- that we've never known about- people who work so well as a team that they don't need to check in, they just do it. And in the big things, fall into working for the community, not for the recognition or the chance at being in charge. Incredible.

And the million tiny moments of wonder and joy? I only hope I'm able to share them.

This was a hard weekend. I worked HARD. and I'm proud. I said it, I'm proud of what I did- and I'm also still so worried I missed something huge- that there was some piece that along the way I dropped and couldn't see. And I worry that people didn't get the most out of it. I'm not saying that part to get some sort of boost or response "to feel better" or draw praise, I just want to voice what I'm thinking and worrying...

So if for the next couple of days I'm weepy, I'm distracted, just know I'm going thru some sort of grieving process.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

SVFF 3 sleeps

crazy process this... putting so much into one little weekend.
sometimes I look around and I can't even believe it...
all these people, working for the same goal. some have never even been there before, but are just as excited, just as passionate.
i'm feeling pretty run down. it's the toll of switching back and forth from work brain to festival spirit.
and i feel bad about how cranky i am.
but not really.
i think maybe, it's just more unguarded... there will be casualties along the way. meh. there already have been.

it's nearly time!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

two days early

meh, we can pretend it's monday.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Pavlov's Uke

Just before lunch break a coworker entered into the office, looked at me, then jumped...

"But? isn't it lunch time?"

I was just about as confused as she looked.

then she said... "I was sure it was lunch time, I heard a Ukulele in the back room a few minutes ago"


Wednesday, August 26, 2009

soon and others

sometimes I just get
too excited
breathing doesn't happen
right- like I forget to
and my stomach turns
upside down, and
I shake and want to
run. or yell. or scream.
so I bite my nails
and clench my teeth, my stomach
and I don't breathe.
and I stifle a smile
because you probably would
just look at me funny
and ask why.

I just am.

um... sleep? no. but at least there's this to look forward to!

In just a few days, a gate will open, and people of all ages will wander the side of a grassy hill overlooking Lake Ontario. They’ll greet old friends, and settle themselves down to listen to some of the finest music out there.

Eventually though, they’ll have to stretch their legs.

And a little further down the hill, they’ll find another layer to the festival exists.

Not only is Shelter Valley Folk Festival a great place for exposure to some of today’s most exciting in Folk, Blues and Roots music, but it plays host to a fantastic selection of local artists.

The Artists’ Village opens up before you into a world of texture and colour. Original works of art share a space with their creators, giving opportunity for discussion and demonstration, while workshops invite guests to touch and take part in the creative process. A perennial favorite in the workshop department takes place Saturday afternoon, where folks are invited to express themselves in colour, guided and inspired by some of the festival’s musicians (this year with the musical group Po’Girl).

The juried show runs the duration of the festival and includes a mix of returning and new exhibitors covering a broad range of mediums. Tie-dye goes hand in hand with a folk festival, and returning Artist Rri Povey of Rrijoice-Tie-Dye takes the craft a little further. Povey hand stitches her patterns and designs before dying the fabric. Turtles, guitars, flowers and stars are some of her popular designs. A newcomer to the festival this year is Richard Cox, builder of beautiful Irish wooden flutes. Each instrument he builds is a work of art, beautiful to the eyes and the ears. Cox first heard of Shelter Valley Folk Festival from a friend who has been an Artist in the Village before, his friend spoke so highly of SVFF that Cox just had to apply.

So much waits to be found and experienced in the Artists’ Village...

Tickets are still on sale for the Labour Day weekend event, online at www.sheltervalley.com by phone at 905-355-1244, or in the downtown office on King St.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

July 1st

sometimes I might pull things from that really nice notebook. sometimes I've written them. sometimes I haven't.
who knows?

There are somedays where I don't even believe it's my own life. Days where so much good bad crazy manic lovely happens- that I don't believe it's even for real.
"you just don't write this stuff"
"you can't make shit like this up"

what if your morning started with the nicest fruitiest granola, made by a friend, who called and said coffee was made and waiting for you?
what if you sent people to the wrong place for a parade, but they still came and you all had a great time? and you played your kazoo, and rode your bike in a pretty skirt and gave it your everything?
what if people you loved so deeply were there, along with all your favourites?
what if you drank pints on the patio, ate poutine, laughed, took pictures and moved an office over one space closer to a chocolate shop?
what if you set up your tent, blew up your air mat, and nearly had a nap in the sun?
what if you had the most adorable old man living beside you? and you spent the afternoon and evening walking back and forth to the neighbours- chatting and laughing? and they looked out for you?
what if your favourite people came and you loved them through the rough spots?
what if you dragged them to the waterfront through all the tourists?
what if you ate too much pulled pork, cranked some ice cream to smooth vanilla perfection, then dolloped it on to a cobbler from heaven?
what if then maybe you laid in the sand on a blanket by the lake with the real town- not the imported one?
watched women hula-hoop with fire, campfire visited, then experienced some crazy enormous fireworks- so good that you clapped, and maybe teared up?
what if when you got back you danced a jig under the glow of twinkle lights while the fiddle played for you?
would you even believe it happened?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

When you live the life of a folk song...

... you're bound to have someone write down everything you say... in hope....

"we grew everything but peas, momma wouldn't shuck them"


Sunday, August 09, 2009


it's corn season.

growing up, I hated corn season. I just wasn't that interested in it... I was interested in the butter... but could care less for the sensation of corn stuck between my teeth. and. I was too lazy to cut it off the cob.
and, it wasn't all that good.

it came to my attention a few years ago that I was going about corn all wrong... I was called a "PINHEAD" and was told to stop buying my corn at No Frills.

Since switching to buying my corn from the adorable old farmer down the way... I have become a corn addict. My compost bin is filled to the brim with husks... my trips to the loo ever so satisfying.... it's likely I should be investing in dental floss.

Thank you Farmer Dolly.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

haiku just because

I got to spend some time with Stew this weekend. the following is a true story.

what's on tap she asked
well, there is Canadian
or Canadian

or I've got Guinness,
then a tractor drove past her
on main street small town

stew and some parsley
sitting eating greasy food
sisters catching up

Sunday, July 26, 2009

for two more reasons

ok. so the lure of my lovely notebook is still keeping me from blogging. soon the pages will run out. Like in the next week. And I'll have only two remaining excuses for not writing.

1. I'm not working the night-sleep shift. Night sleep shifts are perfect for emailing yourself your thoughts.. then posting them.

2. My life is filled with awesome right now.

yes. there's a theme in these pictures. I'm ok with it. you should be too.

Friday, July 03, 2009


Dressmaker  at 10:16pm July 3
How do you feel about wearing Victorian attire, goggles and carrying parasols in public?
Lesley Marie Boileau
 L. Bo
I feel very very good about it.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

gotta pillow?

I wonder sometimes....

how I can go nearly a year without anything...

then, in a matter of a week, get 3 requests from couch surfers... all to arrive on the same week. (Anyone want to meet a new friend?) 

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Swimming in Lakes

Tonight I'm headed North to spend some time with lovely people, listening to some lovely music. And I've been listening to the CDs so I can play the part of a good audience member, and hum along in the catchy parts, and smile big when I hear the opening notes of a favourite tune.

Yesterday I got sent this fantastic little email from a man who's part of NUkeO (our Uke Jam group) He'd been trying to figure out the chords the night before for "Skinamarink", and he'd found them, and sent them my way... then at the bottom of the page, a huge picture of the two of us, grinning like fools at the Uke Jam. The email made me smile so big, my coworker took one look at me and said... "that's your Ukulele smile, I can always tell".

this picture makes me laugh too much. One, because Jim asked if he bunny ears behind his head... before the picture was taken. And two, because my fingers look so long. It's because the Uke is so tiny... but when I first saw the pic, I immediately thought of my sister, who has these long graceful fingers- I've always been jealous of them... it's like when you hold those tiny tiny cans of pop they serve on some airlines... they make you feel like a giant.

Today a friend of mine is meeting some members of his birth family... I'm really excited (and nervous) for him. I can't imagine... really can't even begin to imagine, the pile and mix of emotions all of them must be feeling right now... praying for them today.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

My heart is happy. 
Happier than it's been in a long time. I feel... mostly centred.. except where I take on the things that the people I love are dealing with. But I'm even learning to be centred there.

I should note:: my pad of paper has been snaffu'ed by festival comings and goings. an endless "to do" list. So, maybe I'm back to typing. Unless I can find myself a new lovely pad.

This weekend, the lovely Catherine (and her PEI all stars) came to town. An impromptu concert, held in the Sheff's backyard. And it couldn't have been done better. It was a little piece of heaven. Perfect weather, great mix of talent, green soft grass, a few new hobbits, SVFF style pot luck (for those who've never had the opportunity to try eating with a bunch of true foodies, here's a direct quote from my room mate- a long sufferer of the church pot lucks and crock pots.... " I have NEVER eaten food like that at a pot luck! I couldn't believe it! Who made all that?"). 
The perfect collection of moments. 

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


I'd like to thank Kevin for this fantastic site.

and an update, another 2 morning glories lost, another set of Zucchini seeds, and one cauliflower munched.

yesterday a lovely friend suggested that I plant garlic to deter the buggers. Did I mention the lost of 6 cloves of garlic earlier this spring?

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

cute rats.

I've had some squirrel issues in the past.
big ones.
1  and    2  and   3     
seems those "issues" have followed me to this house too. Perhaps it's the same squirrel all grown up? How long do squirrels live? This is nearly 4 years to the week since that first squirrel encounter.... Now, if you're reading this as a note on facebook- and not in my blog, you've probably been following the updates about the squirrels to date, and you're probably thinking this is redundant... get over it. I need something to complain about.

I've decided that since the landlord isn't selling the house out from under us, that I'd like to take a little time to work in the garden... and more specifically, grow some food for the bunnies and I.  I've managed (with a lot of help from the garden hobbit party*) to get the garden in working order- enough so that I've been able to move a bunch of the perennials out of the central bed- and have started a few veggies... combine that with the planters, and I've got a mini kitchen garden. (nearly a mini farm**)

last week the trouble started.
the squirrels dug up my lettuce. and chomped and dug up my cantaloupe plants. then just dug a bunch of holes in the beets and spinach. thanks.
yesterday, and twice today.... all of my beans have been eaten (they'd just been put in the ground)(I know, a little late, but the temps have been sooo cold) my zucchini seeds got eaten. the new cantaloupe plants were ripped out of their soil. chomped on the hubburd squash seedlings. The little broccoli plants had been tunnelled under... the fancy "fractal" broccoli seeds were dug up (uneaten) and the morning glories ripped out of the soil.
the only things they didn't touch (yet) were the winter squash, cauliflower, two types of carrots, and the pea plants.

I hate squirrels. 

* garden hobbit party:: a lovely group of people travelling from garden to garden, sharing the work load and some good food. I love my hobbits.

**there are mini cows to be had. I'm doomed.
no really.. just picture it... mini cows, babydoll sheep, pygmy goats... and giant bunnies.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

um... editors?

ok. best part of my day by far.
I have to submit some advertising for a car wash we're hosting as a fund raiser for the "AKTION" Club. The "AKTION" club is a service group thru work that I help to run- hosted in part by the local Kiwanis Club...

So, I like to use the interwebs.. and tried to submit my little blurb via the online version of our community newspaper. ("community newspaper" to be a topic for another day)
I clicked on the tab... and was brought to an error page.

and I just sat and giggled.

An error occured while processing the request.

Please help improve the website by telling us how did this error occured

Your Name
Your Email
Your Phone (optional)

giggled at the spelling and grammar... and wished I worked for a newspaper too.

Monday, June 01, 2009


it's a common syndrome in a particular population of people... not they themselves are particular...
not that I'm particular.

ok, let's try this again.

there's a group of people that are more apt to be afflicted with UAS than the general population.

I've got it.
Several people I know have it.

There's even a support group dedicated to it.
Ukulele Acquisition Syndrome.

I MAY have bought my 3rd Ukulele.

-side note:: quote of the week from a few weeks ago "Ukuleles are too trendy" ~MegSheff

Sunday, May 31, 2009

it's true.

it's been awhile.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

link to the tower

ok, remember that time Percy went away and we all laughed too hard at her blog.. to the point of coffee out our noses, and snorting and maybe even a little pee'ing ourselves?

She's left the country again.

Thursday, April 30, 2009


(actually, this is post 1235)

sorry I've been missing in the blogosphere... it just so happens that I found some pretty paper that feels good to write on, and a pen I like. so I'm back to that.

don't worry, the book (of paper) is nearing the half way point- when it's gone, I'll tire of holding a pen on paper that I DON'T like... and then I'll be back.

Bunnies are fine. eating the house.
the garden is lovely, the weather turning.
Festival prep is in full swing... I'm putting in an hour nearly every day for that...

The trip was lovely, the sand hot, the ocean perfect.
Work is busy.
The Ukulele is bringing me much joy.
I've mostly given up tv, and replaced it with waltzing in the kitchen... although, by myself.
Every guy I've met in the past 12 months ... is also looking for a guy.
not that I'm looking.
not really.
and I'm not joking about the waltzing.
GTI is fantastic as always.
a roller coaster. as always.
there are slippers taking over my house. I hope the market starts soon.
and I'm inheriting someone's worm farm this next month... so, vermicompost will be taking over the house.
I've started my 5 month LOA from job 1... did you know that in the morning, when you wake up, there's time to eat breakfast, shower, do laundry AND brush your teeth? for the past two years I've had to choose between just breakfast and dental hygiene. gross.
I'm feeling human... but I still haven't reached that spot where I can clean my room.

my bedroom floor reflects what my brain is doing.

it's still a mess.

back sometime soon.
hopefully, with a clean room... and a found camera cable.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

In celebration...

in celebration of day 3 off of pain killers, I went for a slow... slow slow.. 3 k run.
mmmm, felt good.

and I decided on the track of the month. a little ditty too good not to run to.

especially with that count in. perfect for a bouncy trot by the lake. 

(Speaking of the lake... I don't know if it was a crazy air pressure thing or something.. but I could actually see the lights on the other side of the lake tonight. clear across to Rochester. crazy.)

oh, follow up the voices with a dance party to K'naan's : in the beginning, and you've got the makings of a no sleep night.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Bunday Monday

just to let you know, the rabbits are alive... and chewing. and fine.

Thursday, March 26, 2009


so, I'm still planning on going ahead and sharing a booth at the farmer's market this summer- worms and slippers... and maybe purses.. we'll see how those go.
but today I heard that they're thinking of moving the market out of down town and planting it in the parking lot at the mall.

soooo no one can walk there

and it's stupid for so many reasons

so maybe I won't have a booth there....

maybe I'll end up in the Port instead- cause if I have to drive, I might as well go somewhere nice.

also.... the worms.
I need to tend to them better. I found a bin that I haven't fed in well over a month.. maybe two.
such little tiny worms.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

count down

if I get off the computer, I'll have just 3 sleeps left at the night job till I start my LOA.
And just two day shifts there too. (because the night job is a night AND day job)

I took my last night off as a vacation day....

guess who's going to the UkeJam?????

here and now

in an effort to be more present... and to get more done,
I've turned off my computer at home by 5:30
two nights in a row
which is good
and I feel like I've had conversations
and made things
and been places
and felt things

but no one turns off the computer before I get to work at night.

Monday, March 23, 2009

funny little spot (OR) gotta love the mirror ball

There's a lot going down at GTI lately. and it's so frustrating. 
Yesterday I had some girlfriends over, and I kept saying about random things "I just love this" or "this brings me joy". One of them, not knowing what's going on in the rest of life said to me... "man, we need to find you something that doesn't make you happy... there are too many things that you're listing". And it's true. most of them were the most random of things or events that I was talking about.. but when you're seeing terrible things, experiencing even a taste of the injustice that our friends at GTI are experiencing on a daily basis... you need to find joy in everything else.
One of our team members always says it's no wonder our friends drink the way they do... it's the only escape they can find. 

Anyway, that's not the point of what I was going to write.... 

The other night as an escape, I headed to the land of milk and honey with a friend. 
substitute "milk and honey" with "chocolate, cheese and baked goods" and you'll find Campbellford. mmmm. yummy.

But, that's not why we went. No Sir-ee Bob, we went to go see lovely Catherine (and Steven Fearing). 
At the Legion.
no jokes.

Mirror ball and beer. Ladies Auxiliary and rows of spider plant topiary. Hanging from the window for a cigarette. Tables set up for a bingo. Dance floor down the centre. Table one, please stop talking, I'm trying to do a concert here. Tables that fall over and eyes open as wide as they can for a camera. Day glow bracelets half an hour after you've arrived and found your seat... and wood panelling. 
don't forget the wood panelling.

The perfect way to forget trouble, wrap yourself in a moment so far removed and just be there for a bit.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

when I'm bored

Now that my voice is nearly back to normal, I can go back to doing the stupid things I like to do.

like stand in the galley kitchen (we've got this little hallway in our kitchen), with the computer speakers on full, open the cupboard doors and make a little tunnel of perfect sound resonation

yes, I'm singing to the canned goods.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

who's speaking?

my voice is on the cusp of raspy.
the verge of manly.
the edge of squeaky.

and apparently... that's a sexy sound. I was told today that I could likely be making some money in the phone business if I'd like... Yesterday I was told to use my powers for good, not evil. 

I just asked where I should be going to impress...
(no really.. where does one go to use their super powers?)

Thursday, March 12, 2009

eeeeeeew. oh

apparently, it's not so pretty trying to burrito wrap an 18lbs bunny in order to trim his toenails.

I don't recommend it.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

pretty and smart

A friend shared this with me a few years ago.
then she shared it again.
and I needed it.
and probably you do to.

"Our deepest fear is NOT that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are the child of the creator.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are born to make manifest the glory of the creator that is within us.
It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone, and as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

ART art

um... so the craziest thing just happened.

I'm sick enough that I recognize that it would be stupid to go to a concert tonight, even though I really really WANT to go.

I think I've written about this lovely spoken word artist from out East, Tanya Davis (friend of sweet Catherine) that I really enjoy... the one that sings "Art"... 

actually, awhile back I wrote about both of them.. about a session on "sad songs" on Vinyl Cafe (Cbc Radio) and about how it messed me up pretty good...  shoot, I wish I could get that "search this site" widget to work on here again....

anyway. the song that messed me up so well was "Art"- go have another listen to it. Really listen to it. And think about the things that you do well... and about whether you can be brave and let them go... to be heard/seen/judged/loved/hated/grow.... (just click on it!)


back to my story....

tonight she's in Ptbo, not too far from here, and is doing a little house concert at Raven's house. (Dear Raven, I hope you like your blog name. I like to keep people guessing. and protect identities. HA) But... I've pulled a muscle in my chest from coughing... so I'm back to being sick when I cough from the effort of coughing. SO I made the difficult decision to stay at home. 

I got a message on the computer that said "I'm going to call you. answer the phone. you don't have to talk" from Raven, and when the phone rang, I picked it up and squeaked into it a little. And then....
she said...
I hope you can hear this
can you hear that?

(I hear the first bar of "Art")
and I squeak loudly "that's art! that's art!"

and I get a private phone concert from the lovely Tanya Davis. 
and I smile and cry and squeak and cough and wince all in that order, and then all at once a few times.
because I have lovely, thoughtful, creative, beautiful, talented friends.

Monday, March 09, 2009

1223 (because I keep track)

No voice still today.
Phone talking is um... well, doesn't work.

I've got it bad. The post-production blues.

I miss my tribe. 

It's just like let down after the festival... but it's a lot stronger. I'm thankful that I've had the festival experience behind me- I'm a little better prepared  than some others new to the Players. (the show was put on by 'Umberland Players... I don't know that I ever mentioned that...)
So I'm coping ok... I just don't WANT to cope. I want my tribe.

This morning I woke up (mind you, I slept through my alarm) and for a second breathed a sigh of relief that it was monday... because "if it's Monday, that means Wednesday reHAIRsal is only two days away...... heeeeeyyyyy... wait a second. CRAP".

Milk (the movie) and cookies night with some of the cast on Friday... I'm pretty excited.

Sunday, March 08, 2009


I don't know if you facebook... but if you want to see some of the photos from the play, you can catch them here....

but, since I know you
 can't all do that....

Photo Credits!!! The Handsome Gerry, and Dancing Alina.. 


It feels like spring.
I know it's just a tease, it's still pre-Marchbreak.. the magical moment in the month that can have you one moment in shorts and swimsuit, catching the first heat- laying out on the back deck, or skipping rope in hand.... and the next shoveling on the hour, trying to keep up with the drifts plotting to hold you captive.

But for today.
I've got the front door, the back door, and all the windows that work... open. wide.

and I'm sitting listening so some of my favourite quiets. after an hour of dancing in the galley. I've justified my facebook time. (again) by leaving the computer on the counter in the galley leading to the kitchen. so I stand. and dance. and type. and when I have voice... sing.

I had to leave the cast party early(ish) (does 6am mean early... or late?) to get some stronger drugs... I've been taking such good care of my throat for the past few days- and after the final show.... I just .... stopped. 5 hours later and I felt like I couldn't even swallow. breathing was becoming a problem. Nothing a few Advil (thanks Grey) some gargling with salt/tylenol, and some cough meds couldn't fix.

Much better now. I sound like a man. But... no pain.

I should be all better by Tuesday.

I have so much to work thru from the play still.. I don't know what I can share yet.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

wishy wishy wish

and this is where I'd like to be the moment the play ends.

Hi Dad! Hi Gale!

(can you believe they get to look at this view all day??? more florida pictures to follow)

take 6

we only have two shows left.
I'm holding it together so far.

Tonight, though rough in a number of ways (still some pretty sick peoples) it was probably one of our best, if not our best show. Maybe it was the audience. They were so into it. Laughing, clapping, singing... so great to have the feedback.

I love those little flowerpots.

Friday, March 06, 2009

wash rinse repeat

so, after last Sunday, I lost my voice. It's only the second time IN MY LIFE it's happened. The first time.. just a month ago. 

I always get sick when I'm too wrapped up in something.  So, the constant late night reHAIRsals, combined with getting over some illness, combined with the smoke onstage... = me in pain. 
Dr.NoGood says it's laryngitis. 
I broke down and saw him on Wednesday- he didn't help much- other than to say "well, I guess you won't be singing". And, after some serious prompting, he gave me a high powered cough suppressant- I'd been coughing so hard I was throwing up, or unable to breathe back in.. very scary.

SO, here's what the past two days have looked like (well, other than a brief visit to work)

gargle with warm water, salt, and a crushed aspirin
drink a cup of "throat ease" tea
drink two cups of hot water with lemon and honey... and whisky
sip some cough meds (depending on what I need to do- high octane Narcotic or over the counter if I need to go anywhere)
take an Advil
oil of oregano drops
take slippery elm capsules.

repeat every 3-5 hours.
oh.... and no talking.

that's the part that's killing me.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

stolen from Amanda Putz

Don't get me wrong, there are many artists I adore for their infectious beats or snappy choruses... but the list of those whose naked words you can stare at in print and feel their potency even more than when they're shrouded in melody, well, it's sufficiently smaller. In a poll of my one music-colleague here we decided among Canadians still writing now Sarah McLachlanJustin Rutledge, John K. Samson, or Gord Downie might be able to sit beside ol' L.C.  

( I think I agree with the list..... AND, I do have tickets for ol'L.C.  yet another thing to cross off the life list!)


Sunday, March 01, 2009

odd ear

so, My eyes are broken from the lights and the smoke... and if I go to bed right now, I'll be awake at 4am.
instead, I'm listening to "free to be you and me" on youtube. well, the video is playing, but my eyes can't take too much, I'm typing with my eyes closed too.

the video I've never seen before, so the parts I'm watching are pretty new to me..  I grew up with the record and didn't even know there was a film version of it till a few weeks ago.

Here's the crazy thing.
the music.
of course, I remember all the words to the stories and songs... but the entire album is a third lower than I remember.

I wonder why.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

hee hee

ok, MUCH MUCH better tonight.
it feels like it's really coming together... a few pretty funny things happened tonight... ok, a ton of funny things are always happening- but some that stuck out::
Horner forgot to wear underwear (don't laugh... it happens) in one scene where he's in a dress... and the dress is suppose to be lifted.... nothing was seen- there were some kids of cast members in the group....
I forgot where we were in the play at one point, and decided to go up on the bridge... as soon as I got up there... I realized I was suppose to be sitting right at the front of the stage... oops. I wandered around on the bridge for a moment or two, pretending to look for something... then wandered back to where I should have been... thankfully, an easy cover up when you're pretending to be high.
Someone popped a button on stage- somehow, I managed to pick it up with my toes (ok, it's a talent) and threw it at the band. I was aiming for Grey, but I missed (well, it's not a talent that'll get me on star search or anything...)
During a rather sad part of the play, in a moment where we need to be pretty collected- each of us trying to console the others in a time of loss.... DC2 and I are in each others arms, DC2 reaches down to grab my hand, and somehow ends up with a handful of boob. 
and I nearly miss singing my part of the duet because I'm laughing so hard. 

oh my.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

little sleep

sleep is evading me now.
I slept thru my alarm clock(s)

ReHAIRsals are going ok... well, actually- tonight was a little rough. Ok. the sound was terrible, I made some pretty stupid mistakes. And the dynamics of the tribe were a little off.... 

an aside about tribe dynamics... someone once told me about the experience of being in a play (any play) being like this time of falling in and out of love. In and out of love with the story, with the characters, and with the cast... it's so true... you love each and every person in their own unique way....  some probably more than you should. But it's just a matter of proximity. 
I worry (because that's what I do) about how things will change when the play is done, and I look forward to the way they'll change....

Monday, February 23, 2009

I lie

so there I go, saying you likely won't hear from me with the crazy of the play taking over my life... butta... I'm too wound to sleep soooooo.
One of the girls in the play had the best idea... a "Hair" journal. 

I wish I'd thought of that.
That I'd chronicled what was going on, my feelings about the play- how my thoughts about things may or may not have changed. The things I've worried about, my triumphs... all that.
It's a little late for that now. 
But, I can still capture this week.

Biggest things today:: I was a bundle of nerves getting ready to leave the house, and getting dressed in the dressing room- I didn't get lost in the bowels of the building today, so that was a good thing- I only got tangled up in the curtains twice coming on stage... so those were good things.... the buzz in the dressing room was contagious, and I dropped my nerves there... we got Mic'd up, and did some warm ups... then jumped in. 

Have I mentioned how much I love the tribe? 

Anyway, I finally got that stupid "Air" dance figured out... had a slight wardrobe malfunction... my cowboy outfit walked away from where Chrissy and I had left the pieces... but thankfully, we've been given two full extra bars of music to get dressed... so I think it's going to work out just fine!

We got some tobacco less, nicotine free, tar free, fruit stuff for our pot pipes, so we get to smoke on stage... it kinda reminds me of those herbal smokes- but the after taste is worse than any cigar I've ever tasted... I had to be shown how to use the pipe.
Only draw back.. I mean other than the breath that reeks of stank... is that it really dries me out... I only had a few puffs... and my voice was drydeadgone by the end of the run thru....

finally found a good harmony/rhythm for "Let the Sunshine"... so I'm feeling good about that too...

all in all... 

it's going to be just fine.

and frig, I just can't wait to have an audience sitting out there.

AND, my sister is coming to see the show... I'm excited about that.