Disclaimer: this isn't a "poor me, someone build me up" type post. This is me just trying to figure things out.
Most of my life is compartmentalized. Not on purpose. It's just happened like that. Especially the relationships in my life, very few crossovers happen. Festival friends, work friends, family, theatre, music, others... there are a handful of people who've seen into all those groups. A handful who put up with me on my weirdest days. A handful who know me really well, who listen even to my silence.
We had Easter dinner as a family this weekend.
Turns out my step niece doesn't know my name after 8 years of family dinners.
There's a right fit for all of me and my parts somewhere... right?
1 comment:
I'm thinking probably not.
In order to fit in someplace, you need to do a sort of chameleon thing - absorb some wavelengths and reflect others, blending and complementing. If that happens right, people see you as being 'one of us'. But those colours are different in every context, depending on purpose, shared history, personal history, personalities. You're still be you, but a slightly different shade of you.
Part of the reason (just figuring things out) that I don't fit anywhere for long is that I don't do this well. People sort of generally like me in a vague way, but eventually I don't fit.
But the cool thing about doing the chameleon thing well, is that you get to bring your colours to bear on the whole picture. And, if you're lucky, lots of little pictures that all have a bit of you in them, making them that much more lovely.
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