count down to something

it feels good to be muddy.
digging in the warm dirt.. dirt warmer than the air.

I'm peddling as fast as I can, and I'm not keeping up. I can make it the last 5 days.

Yesterday I came home to an empty house, with no where I needed to be for 17 hours. I dropped my bags outside the door, took off my shoes and picked up my shovel.
I hunkered down in the garden for the next couple of hours. I dug a new flower bed for tall privacy plants (from seed) this year- next year a hedge will go in the back of it to screen out Mr."I'm BBQing STEAKS TONIGHT!".

The dirt worked it's way under my nails- on my toes and my hands. I scraped rocks, I moved hidden treasures (I think I found the hulk's arm and gi joe's head) and chatted with the kind neighbour next door. I worked till I hurt.

And it felt good.

post secret

This week's postsecret postcards were hard to read.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm failing her for not commemorating her in the ways that others do for their own.

seasons

I posted this to my facebook page today...

there are lots of changes going on, the rumor mill talks fast, so you've likely heard that I quit my day job- this is just one step in a series of things that I need to do for myself this year.

I'm cutting back, the cell phone will be gone (for real this time) by the end of the month. The tv is gathering dust. I've dropped some extra activities. I'm going to focus on some things that I need to focus on.

I've just cut the feed from my blog to facebook- I'm hoping to write more without the pressure of many people reading (if it's out of sight, it's out of mind). I'm going to go for walks, I'm going to take naps, I'm going to catch up with friends, I'm going to dig in the dirt, I'm going to find joy in the things around me.
I'm pretty pumped.

Best life ever.

block head

When I make a plan, I procrastinate to the end, but I finish it.
That's what I do.
Most of the time.
Or, When I make a plan, I go whole hog and burn out along the way, and give up hope that it'll ever happen. (That's the messy one)

Those are my patterns. I recognize them, and I try to work around them.

BUT.
I'm happy to say that I've broken that trend and finished something that I'm pretty darn proud of. I quit my job on Friday.

I reached my goal (the hobbit house), and now there's no need to live the life of a workaholic.

Some people are surprised when I say I've left my unionized Monday to Friday position in favour of working at the group home- but when you get down to the math of it, and what makes my heart happy- I've made the right choice for me.

After today, 7 more shifts at the day program- my last 12 day stretch.
I did what I set out to do, created some independence for myself with the Hobbit House- now I'm going to enjoy a job well done.

What are you going to do with your time?

HA!

strong hobbitses

Strangely enough, a fence that took me two days to take down, took me only 3 hours to put back up again...
The house is looking like my house.
The yard is turning into my yard.
I'm feeling a real sense of accomplishment.
it's good.
Taking some advil tonight will also be good.

today:
pulled the last fence post out of the ground at the front of the house
moved the hot tub into the yard
put the fence posts back in
rebuilt the fence
planted onions/ created 2 new gardens
drank some beer
visited some friends
chased a rabbit
dug weeds
met some neighbours.

next I'm going to sit in that tiny hobbit bathtub and try to soak off some dirt- the hot tub won't be hooked up for a few more weeks.

oh, and I quit my job.

*grin*

Sweeeeeeeeeeeneeeeeeey Todd

Last night's Dress went pretty well... well, we missed a few things, but now we won't... that's the point of dress- to scare you crapless for the night and emblazon it in your mind so you don't screw it up again.

Here's a quick link to our first article!

more press to follow!

Canada's next top Lame-o

yup, this confirms it.

I'm the LAMEST person I know.

Tonight was one of those lovely nights, pulling me out of a funk that's taken over the past few days. Brisk air, sun shining down, dinner with dear friends, and a concert.

Not just any concert.

The lovely Martyn Joseph was in town.

I love this guy's music. It's from just the right spot.

here... have a video. (ok two).

So, I've had the privilege of seeing him in concert several times. The first time was out at the gallery- in the middle of '08's worst snowstorm. This summer he played at the festival- and I ran into him around the campfire a few times- he played my Uke (and put me to shame).

so of course, what's the first thing I say to him when I see him at the show tonight? (let's preface this with- I've just been greeted with "oh! hello beauty") (that would be Martyn's version of knowing he knows me from somewhere) (I'll take it)

yes, of course, I embarrass myself by saying "so, did you pick up a ukulele for yourself when you got home?"

and then... further it later with....

Singing harmonies as loud as I can- like I'm lost in church... and then he wanders out into the audience with his guitar and sits down beside me... I forget the words and stop singing.

yup.

ok.

awesome.

I think I'll go to sleep now.

back in the day

I've just spent the past few days pouring over old emails and pictures from Togo.

I miss Africa.

wishfull.

I keep watching this over and over....

and maybe I'm not watching, maybe I'm sitting with my eyes closed, even though it's very pretty.

walk a mile in those shoes.

work
walk
meeting
work.


I just took off my shoes... eeeewwwwwww.
Which made me think...

When I worked with Watoto, we had mornings that started around 6am, by the time we climbed into bed at night and took off our shoes 18 hours later... it was painfully stinky in our room (not just from me!) One of my girls took to calling me "stink wooman" (say it with a Ugandan child's accent)

I miss my kids too too much this week.