Please no.

I've just come back from a fantastic weekend at Hillside Festival... what an amazing space.  Maybe I'll write more about my experiences there... but first, a moment that has me all mixed up in how to respond.

I ran into a friend and her partner one afternoon. They were with a few other friends and we struck up a conversation.

At one point I found myself speaking with a handsome young man. It wasn't flirtatious, just very comfortable and so completely unguarded that it stood out in a space where everyone was gathered with the purpose of watching a well rehearsed "show".  It must have struck others as something unusual, because my friend's partner turned to young handsome and in a manner not so discreet,  false whispered "What's going on? Are you interested in her?" Embarrassed with his obvious disapproval, we both turned away and young handsome stammered a response of "um, I'm just a friendly guy". I tried hard to keep my composure and eventually found an excuse to leave the circle.


A few things struck me... friend's partner is bit of an awkward douche or maybe he's just a bit of a douche when he drinks.  I don't know.

The other is more troubling, and bothered me for most of the weekend.  This lovely young guy is likely going to think twice before he allows himself to fully be present in a conversation with someone who might not fit his peers' expectations of conformity to the "cool club".

I wanted to find him in the crowd and tell him to never let go of being beautifully unguarded, tell him that he is going to find the most amazing things if he can be present with people.... that being an aloof hot shot gets old quick... and then hand him a book of Shane Coyzan's poetry...

There were some real moments of beauty this weekend.

some days aka soymedayys

Some days, it's too hot to do anything after work but lay on the couch with a beer and watch too many episodes of "Orange is the New Black" on Netflix. (Side note... DEAR GLORY ME... THAT is a great show... a little graphic nudity, but who isn't desensitized already these days?)

Some days, your dog bumps into the table and knocks your beer onto the laptop.

Sometimes, when you're really lucky, the next morning... only a few keys are a little sticky and the touch pad isn't your best friend, and your computer smells like a dirty bar.... but you're happy anyway because you didn't get the blue screen of death when you turned your computer on that morning.

Let's all think warm loving thoughts for my computer shall we?

friend failure

The last half hour of work at the group home is generally spent watching old TV shows on DVD. Lots of I love Lucy, Bonanza, John Wayne, and tonight's choice- The Andy Griffth Show.

I came in partway through the episode... Andy's house is slowly filling with women, some sort of hen party that he didn't know about. I ask Jen what I've missed....

"I think that Barney is trying to help him find a new wife."

Sure enough, Barney enters the house and peers through the kitchen door at the ladies gathered in the living room. He asks Andy if he's seen anything he likes... Andy demands to know what's going on, then insists that the ladies are told to leave once Barney tells him that his future wife might be in the room.

Andy: Why would you do something like that?
Barney: As your best friend I'm just trying to look out for you.

Involuntarily my head sloooooooowly turns toward Jen.. I can't stop it. I look directly at her.

I look away... but it's too late.

Jen starts to kill herself laughing and apologizes for not having done the same for me.