Nerves

I have an interview in less than two hours for a job I've already held.
A job that due to the most horrendous and unfortunate of circumstances I should have been working until this coming October. I've only been out of the position for over a month.

Out of principle, no one else from my program is applying to the position, they feel its mine, but due to policy it was posted to the larger community and I'm up against 3 other people.

I'm really quite nervous about this.
These interviews are points based. What if I'm off my game? What if.
Recently the interviews have changed. Where before questions were theoretical, "what would you do in this case?", questions have moved to "name a time where you...".  Ug. I have the worst memory for details of the things I have done!  I can tell you what needs to be done, and in the moment I do what is supposed to be done... but.. I can't tell you the details around an event!!!!
I've spent the last two days trying to remember an event that happened at work where afterwards I was praised by my manager, another manager, and the behavioural therapist. .. the event was brought up at a team meeting as a "this is awesome, learn from this moment"  And I friggin can't even remember what it was that I had said that was such a big deal.

I know how to do my job well. Really really well.

But I'm not super talented in remembering the sort of details they're going to be asking for.

So. In less than 2 hours I go to an interview.

And I may not get the job.

And I'll be disappointing myself and the rest of the team if I don't get it.

Grumble grumble. Points based. Grumble grumble this is my job. Grumble grumble new interview style. Grumble grumble still going to have to interview for the SAME job again in one year.

friend failure

The last half hour of work at the group home is generally spent watching old TV shows on DVD. Lots of I love Lucy, Bonanza, John Wayne, and tonight's choice- The Andy Griffth Show.

I came in partway through the episode... Andy's house is slowly filling with women, some sort of hen party that he didn't know about. I ask Jen what I've missed....

"I think that Barney is trying to help him find a new wife."

Sure enough, Barney enters the house and peers through the kitchen door at the ladies gathered in the living room. He asks Andy if he's seen anything he likes... Andy demands to know what's going on, then insists that the ladies are told to leave once Barney tells him that his future wife might be in the room.

Andy: Why would you do something like that?
Barney: As your best friend I'm just trying to look out for you.

Involuntarily my head sloooooooowly turns toward Jen.. I can't stop it. I look directly at her.

I look away... but it's too late.

Jen starts to kill herself laughing and apologizes for not having done the same for me.

that sticky noise when you step in a puddle

I started running again last week.
I've been hurting all over anyway, so I figured if I started running now.. the pain would all get lumped together and it wouldn't matter.

I forgot how much I love it. And hate it.

Anyway, walking is too slow. I get frustrated. But my body isn't back in shape enough to run at the speed that I want/need.

Today was a 12 hour shift. I had to cancel my Uke lesson (there goes my spending money) in order to stay at the group home when a coworker called in sick. Yes I make more money at the group home than with lessons, but only if I'm paid at my contract rate... I won't go into the details, but basically this just makes me want to go for a LONG run.

Except that I've been wearing those running shoes for more than 13 hours today and my feet smell like a swamp.

I'm going to bed instead.

valentine

A dear friend's son went in for heart surgery this week.
He's doing great... holey heart has been all patched up, now he can go back to terrorizing all of us.
(He's honestly one of my favourite teenaged people)

One of the things I get to do at my job is help people get ready for bed, in some cases- it means helping with personal care... and in some cases it means winding down for the day and praying with them before they go to sleep (at their request).

This weekend, we were talking about the things we'd like to pray about, and I mentioned my friend's surgery. I was asked what the surgery was for, and when I replied "to fix a hole in his heart, it doesn't work properly" the individual I was speaking with became very quiet... a serious and worried look crossed her face.

"Does that mean he can't love people all the way?"









**For Matty- insert here a story/poorly timed entrance into a conversation you didn't want to hear**

*** for everyone else- seriously, my friends Kim and Jason have the greatest kids... first post ever on this blog? It was about their daughter**

Huzzah

Group W Bench news later... I'm too excited about what happened this week.

2 things... the first... my hours just got better at work- better than what they used to be. I mean, it's still only 24 hours a week- but they're arranged in a way that doesn't make me want to cry anymore. Hello social life.

I'm so glad.. because the way they're laid out means better supports for the people I work with, no more rushing to make things work "as best we can", but now we can actually do things well and do them right. I'm really really happy about it.

Ok... the other thing is slightly basement diary related.
Wednesday I went into the paint and wallpaper shop to pick up some floor paint. Basement is now $40 over budget. BUT, not only did I get the right product... I was offered a job.

So, if we can make things work with my still odd (but so much better) group home schedule, I'll be working a few hours a week at the shop downtown... working for the ladies who used to work for my mom.

How's that for a funny circle?

A little relief!

Got the word yesterday that we're getting a few of our hours back at work- ones that had been removed from a contract... which means....

I get to have my daytime shift back on Thursdays!

Which means.... I have a night in the week that I'm off every week!! A consistent evening off to do normal people things.

It also means improved support to the people we work with, but I'm still in the "really happy for selfish reasons" frame of mind.

the other shoe

So the time I talked about my job in a negative light resulted in a stern "talkin' to" from a manager, asking me to take down a posting. That was several years ago. To this day I feel that it should have been left there. At the time my name was nowhere to be found on the blog, and my employer wasn't mentioned by name.

But, someone who knew me had read it and showed it to a manager... blah blah blah blah... the post was removed.

All that to say, I'm having rather negative thoughts about something that's happened with work... and I can't write them here, and I can't say that I feel like the organization has lost it's way and sight of it's vision, but I can say that I've spent a great deal of time swearing and self-pity-crying about it.

*insert a sneer and an eye roll here*

Thankfully there are bunnies to be pet and good people in my life.

(it may be time to bring back Bunday Mondays)

dry land

breathe on these dry bones....

Today I watered the garden... again.

It's April 10th. Has it even rained yet this month? I mean, more than that splattering this morning. Not going to be much of a 1000lb challenge- unless it's a 1000 litre challenge? How much water can you pour on your garden?

I want to avoid writing work related stuff right now- I feel like I'm there so often though, there's not much more to life. Ug. I'm so boring.

How about a picture of one of my future sheep?

picture from flickr.

head aches

There's one thing about the new job that pains me.

The music selection.

I support a young person who's taste in music is limited to the current top 4 songs.

If those 4 songs could be played on an endless loop, she'd be happy... thanks to the wonders of radio planning, by flipping the station after every song, she's found a way to play those 4 songs in endless succession.

Enter some awesomeness.

This may be the only redeeming version of this song.

Though, I'll admit- the "Elmo and I know it" tune is the alternative I sing when subjected to the radio version.

just call on me

scene: Elbow is sitting in the dining room at work, singing loudly with an individual.

Jenny is working in the kitchen preparing dinner.

L:

if there's anything that you want, if there's anything I can do.... just call on me and I'll send it along with love, from me to you. I've got arms that long to hold you, and keep you by my side. I've got lips that long to kiss you and keep you satisfied.... woooooooo...

Sorry that's all I know.

J: that's impressive!

L: thank you mini pops!

J: that's slightly less impressive.

I'm not mean, I'm awesome

*cue Law and Order type sound effects*

The following is a collection of things said to and around me at work on Sunday.

I may have said the "I'm not mean" thing to someone who was whining.

Enter Church Lady- oblivious to the topic of singledom that has been floating around this week.

Church Lady is wearing a well meaning sly smile. I know IMMEDIATELY what she is going to ask. Hemming and hawing, with a giggle she asks...

"Would you ever consider dating a younger guy? Now, I know they couldn't be too much younger, because you're already pretty young..." giggling nervously like she's the one asking me out, she grabs my arm, gives it a squeeze and dashes back to the other room after my patient and slow reply "I have in the past".

Apparently I've been wearing t-shirts and keeping my hair up in a pony tail far too often if she thinks her boys are near my age.

Moments later, I hear more giggling as she comes back into the kitchen....

"I should ask you this... do you like Jeeps or Junkers?"

I really shouldn't keep playing along, but I have to be honest, and thinking about a farm, answer... "I like them both"

Church Lady titters and flees the room again, only to turn around again and stand close to me as she asks "would you date a musician? or a cop? because the cop comes with the jeep, the musician has the junker..." I don't reply for a second... mostly in shock as I do the math and realize how young she must think I am ... or perhaps how desperate she thinks her boys are. Then there's the further pause as I decide weather to tell her I've sworn off musicians for the time being... Finally I respond with "I don't think I make that choice".

This must be what Church Lady is looking for, because as I turn and get something from the fridge, I find myself locked into the most awkward hug around my back and middle... the type that really excited moms give. She's still tittering and chattering like a pot on a stove as she leaves the room.

I'm blushing.

From embarrassment maybe? I'm not sure.

But I get back to making supper... and don't see her for the rest of the night.

From embarrassment maybe? I'm not sure.

wheezy takes a spin

no joke, I just found in my blog post "drafts" a piece with this title.

Something in me remembers that it was going to be an amazing entry- one so amazing that it needed time and thought before putting it down on the page... but for the life of me I can't remember what it was.

Something to do with Florida.

Dad and Gale are down there now... if only I had the money for it this year! It's not that I'm over winter- it barely feels like it's begun- but... oh vacations.

Praying for either the lottery to come thru for me, or some magic in payroll. This job change is terrifying financially.

wheels

I didn't bother to write about the changes that have happened in my place of work this year.

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Thank you Thumper.

However, some big changes of my own design are about to happen starting next week, so a quick recap is in order!

-I worked full time for organization A

-decided I wanted to buy a house, so started working full time for organization B also

-bought the hobbit house, left B.

-A moved my job to a different town

-I've found a new program within A to switch to, bringing me back to work in the 'Burg

Pluses to the new program?

- Working with an amazing team of people

-supporting a very interesting situation

-bike distance to work. (I can retire that car which no-one wants to steal)

-I can sleep in my own bed every night

-I'll get more than 5 hours of sleep

Minuses?

- A cut in salary

-further bike distance to work than what I had before I was moved out of town

-hours that seem to be all over the map.

What does this all mean?

-I'll be more fun to be with because I'll like my job so much more

-my body will like me

-I have to give up a number of the activities that bring me joy due to my work schedule....

I worry the two may cancel each other out at first.

New year, new things.

weekday wake ups

Each morning the tone for the day can be set with the most subtle of cues. If I greet the tall one first- before he greets me, it generally doesn't end well.
If I'm patient and don't even look at him till he says something to me, I know the day will be ok.

This morning in the group home I walked passed him and I was greeted with a "good morning Knucklehead". This is nearly as loving as it gets from him. Some times I get "hot sausage" or "vanity fair" (don't ask) on a good day... more often than not I'm showered with swearing.

This morning I turned to him and asked "how do I get rid of my title of Knucklehead?"

Without missing a beat he responded "stop working here".

yup.

350 degrees for 45 mins

best part of my day today... (other than a railside breakfast with Manda, and hanging with the very soon to be step-niece) ...

was coming into work and seeing the casserole dish on the desk.

Yesterday while working, I made dessert to go with tonight's meal... apple crisp. I peeled and sliced the apples, made the crisp, then wrapped it up and left it in the fridge so they could cook it after cooking the turkey....

I came into work, looked at the half-eaten crisp and started laughing...

they didn't cook it.
but they ate it.

too funny.

9/12

three days left in this stretch of shifts...
mantra, there's a good cause, there's a good cause...

During the Spring and summer, when I took some time off from job number 2 (I took a 5 month leave of absence to regain my sanity) I was so surprised at how short the work week was. I'd NEVER (read: in my 16 years of working) had weekends off.
I had no idea that breaks came so quickly... it was a whole new world! just when you get into the rhythm of being at work.. you have a weekend!
Now that I'm back to the 12 day stretches between weekends, I'm back to my time being spent.
When you have every weekend off, you can choose to do things on the weekend.. but you can also choose to do it the NEXT weekend.
When you're working every other- things get booked. Till there is no weekend.

that said... I'm booking an escape weekend for this coming Saturday... I'm excited.

ok, that'll be my last "work is a lot" post now. I've chosen to go this route.

the perks

I got a coffee maker for Christmas from the roomie. I've never owned my own... the very best part of it? it's got a clock... and you can set it to turn on before you wake up. 

I think that's a big deal.

I can set it on work mornings, so that when I get home from work- before I dash out the door to the other job- I can grab a cuppa.... and not worry about waiting at the bean for someone to take my money.... and then end up being late... 

This makes me happy.

"Even happier" though - came at work while I was telling a co-worker about my new joy. As I was telling my story, one of the individuals we support (an older woman) clued into the conversation... sort of.

me: " so now, when I wake up... my coffee is ready for me! (sigh)" (well.. the sigh was more of a swoon)

she: "oh? you finally got the boyfriend trained?"

That's right. I'm taken.

Marathon Wednesday

Marathon ... but of my own making.... please don't think this complaining- just a quick recap of how Wednesdays work now.

6:40am- alarm
6:47am- alarm
6:54am- alarm
6:55am- roll up bedding, stumble to shorty's room, turn on his lights, go pee, brush teeth.
6:59am- try to convince shorty to get out of his bed, or at least put both of his feet on the floor
7:04am- satisfied that shorty is awake, stumble to the office to get dressed
(for the next hour and a half pretend to like people while trying to gain full wakefulness)

fast forward....
8:30am- go home (cause, unless you didn't guess it, I was at work) wash face, eat breakfast, (maybe)comb hair.
8:45am- go to work.
4pm- home from work... and cooking for GTI
6pm- GTI dinner (yummy!)
7pm- rehearsal..... (this is making my week bearable)
10pm-finish rehearsal, get home, shower(maybe), pack
11pm- go to work.

It's not likely you'll catch me on a Wednesday.

stay tuned for tonight's "marathon song"....pop-cicle pop-up pop-art Andy war pop pop-a-per......
whew.

1,100 (are you sick of me now?)

welly well well, what do we have here? A blog-o-versary?

What better thing to do on a Blog-o-versary than to talk about not talking about something!

My eyes are weary.

Speaking of eyes, I just got an alien joke sent to me, and I laughed very very hard. I will have to post it here at some point.

Speaking of eyes, you know I have a stat counter right? I've mentioned my Stat-obsession before. Yes, that means I know when you're reading this at work (ha ha, maybe even where you work). That means I know where you are. That means I know how often you visit, or how you got here. Even who provides your internet connection.

The walls have eyes... moo wa ha ha ha ha.

FUNNY

Ok, I'll admit to the occasional blog browsing while sitting at the office desk.

I'll also admit that it's one of those few things keeping me from taking up smoking (read that as- I'm taking MY smoke break in the form blog perusal)

 

Interesting side note: there is an online debate/discussion as to the proper term for the discovery of a blog that you end up becoming quite dedicated to.... actually, the debate is more "what term should I use for the anniversary date of the day I first discovered my future spouse's existence via his/her blog"?  Read more about this HERE. 

Anyway. While on my surf board of teh interwebs- I remembered that a friend was blogging her journey of the Camino in Spain, so, quite quickly- I looked her up.

BIG BIG mistake. 

I got nothing accomplished for the next 10 mins as I caught up on her journey (read that as TWO smoke breaks). In fact, I had to shove my fist in my mouth to keep from laughing loudly. No, really. I did.

I also faked several coughing fits.

I was able to avoid suspicion.

I wish you knew her too. 

But, since you likely don't... I recommend you hit THIS LINK right now.