dont.look.up.

sometimes. you might get to the point where you just need some time to be selfish. where there's been a lot going on, and you're in the middle of something else, and something is presented to you as an opportunity to shine and do good. and ya just don't want to.

I've been having a number of those lately, but my inner self starts screaming so loudly at me, that I have to give in, because there's just no peace in it.

take yesterday. I'm at work. I'm supporting someone working in the town hall. But, he's at the "phase out" point in his job. I do check ins on him every 15 mins right now.. not nearly enough time to go back to the office, or accomplish anything. so, I sit. and read. or more recently, write.

The front lobby of the town hall is this huge echoing space, lined with benches. I plunk myself onto one, and pull out my day timer to look up something. A woman creeps into the building, pushing her walker... and in this giant empty room... sits so close to me I have to move over - she's nearly on my lap.

don't look up.
don't make eye contact
keep flipping thru
the
day
timer
don't
do
it
crap.

I sit for the next 15 mins. I say maybe 3 words the entire time. I hear the same two stories told three times. inaconstantflowofwordsandnotonebreathistakenandidon'tknowifthiswomanhastalkedtoanyoneyettodayorifi'mthefirst....

sheesh.