everyone likes an update

Back to that time I lost my shit.

I took a vacation this week- There were a few things I needed to do around the house...like paint the bathroom, build the fence, coon-proof the coop, and rebuild the rotted wall of the shed.

I've got three days left of my vacation... and it's raining.

Truth is, one of the projects ended up being so much bigger than I thought it would be, and without a vehicle... I spent a lot of my week in "hurry up and wait" mode.

Last sunday night the dog and I found a skunk sitting on my back step.

 It's been living under my neighbour's shed all summer, and hanging out down the street at the construction site for weeks. Sunday night, it decided to cut through my yard on it's way home just as we were headed out for Rueben's last walk. I didn't turn on the light. I was walking with my eyes nearly shut- I cracked the back door open, and Rueben SHOT OUT OF IT and ripped the leash right out of my hand. So I stumbled down the stairs yelling at him... in time to see him PIN a skunk to the ground... in time to watch him let it go... get sprayed, chase it under the trailer... and, as any good herding dog would do... HERD THE SKUNK BACK AT ME. I opened my umbrella to use as a shield. Rue then chased it under the trailer... then back to me.. then under the trailer... then back to me. At one point I went into the house to escape it all... but the stupid dog was barking and pinning the skunk to the ground over and over, I knew I needed to pull him off the skunk if it was ever going to end.

The thing about skunk spray? It doesn't smell like skunk.

I kept wondering if maybe it was a young skunk who hadn't figured out how to spray right yet... because all I could smell was this terrible petrol-like smell... not gas, like heavy oil products.

The thing about skunk spray? It smells like skunk AFTER you start washing it off.

I dumped the dog and myself in the tub... Rueben's first bath since I got him... (note: he hates baths)
And started rinsing us off with baking soda and peroxide. My hands were covered in the stink (from grabbing the dog- and his saturated leash), my feet were covered in the stink (from running around trying to grab the dog in freshly sprayed grass and gravel)... and my nose was full of it. Meanwhile, the dog looked like a cartoon rabies victim with all the foaming at the mouth and drooling he was doing (his reaction to the skunk spray in his mouth) and kept trying to wipe his face on everything.

I'm so thankful I locked him in the back room of the house after that first bath... it's now just the bathroom and back room that have a skunky after smell to them.

Best thing I learned from this experience- have baking soda, peroxide, and a mild dish soap on hand. These are your friends. The dog only smells of skunk right around his mouth and eyes where I couldn't get too close with my cleaning mixture. The rest of him just smells like normal dog. I'm sure there are measurements that you can use, google it ... I just dumped the bottle of peroxide, half a box of baking soda, and a squirt of dish soap into a cup and mixed it together.
As a plus, it's a great exfoliant for yourself.

It took me two showers to pass the sniff test by friends.
Sniff tests took place inside closed vehicles to ensure the results would be true.

That's what friends are for.

(remind me not to wear those flip flops in your car though)

Turn on the lights

Then there was that time that the dog and I got sprayed by a skunk.
Yeah, that happened.

I think I'm almost at the point where I can write about it without KILLING the dog.

I mean, I'm at the point now where I can be in the house without gagging... so that's something..


right?

Seriously?

A number of years ago I had a twitchy lip. 

So twitchy that it lasted for more than a week. It drove me MAD. So mad that I still hear myself mocking myself "what's yer problem Twitchy Lip Boileau?" ... but said the in the way old peers sometimes call my sister and I "Boy-Low".

It's back.

It's migrated.

It's on the inside of my left nostril.

All I want to do is stick my thumb up there and plug my nose so it can't keep twitching... invisible, but oh so annoying....I pulled out countless nose hairs before I figured out what was wrong.

grumble grumble grumble.

continued (or) there are days

Yesterday I posted from my phone again, I promise not to do that again.

In continuation of the story...

So, the front end of the car slid into the ditch. I figure every neighbour has been waiting years for this to happen- I park there nearly every day. As I generally have the shortest shifts, I don't like to park in the driveway for fear of getting blocked in. It's the rare occasion that I work a regular 8 hour shift and leave at a normal shift change time. I'll admit, I watched the cars driving by and cursed the drivers and passengers as they rubber necked and gave each other knowing glances.

Oh.My.Pride.

When my fury with myself had subsided a little I went back outside and tried to inch the car out of the ditch. No luck. It slid in further, till the front end was pointed into the ditch and the back pointed at the road... then it looked like I'd lost control of the car and driven straight into the ditch, instead of the fine driving I'd done in the dark, in a snow storm, with one hand holding my door closed.. driving standard.

Oh.my.pride.

So that happened.

Then I found out that in the confusion of the morning, my shift hadn't actually been a trade- so I was stuck at work for a 11 or 12 hour shift... probably just as well... As I discovered when pulling out my wallet, my CAA membership had expired.

The next 6 hours at work went quite smoothly... and as I stood up and walked to the door to leave, my hair elastic broke.

It's ok. I made it to the car before I started to cry.

**post script**

All joy was not lost, I had a lovely visit with friends and watched the Christmas Dr.Who special later that night.

Sheesh

I generally pride myself in my abilities to form a (written*) sentence. This morning as I was waking up, I was laying in my bed visualizing "Their, They're, and There" and wondering out loud to JellyDog how people could get them mixed up. "Seriously, how do they mix them up? They're three different words" I even spelled out "they're" to The Dog.

So of course, when I arrived at my computer, there... lurking on my homepage, a sent message glared at me... with several "their/they're/there" confusions.  "DO YOU SEE THIS JELLY? Of course not... you're blind.... guh!" I scrolled down a little further only to find the cute comic above. I felt better. Then made the mistake of clicking on my inbox... only to discover I'd sent a message with one of my least favourite errors... MY ERROR... The dreaded "alot". **

Sheesh.



*Verbal Skillz? I don't have 'em. Ever tried to have me describe anything... ever? Double Sheesh.

** But then after "sheeshing", I started to giggle,  because then I remembered to use this system and it made the email alot better.***

***That was on purpose.

the people that you meet when you're walking down the street

Who are the people in your neighbourhood.... ug. getting songs stuck in my head left right and centre today.

Tomorrow is Amber and Shawn's wedding. I'm super excited about it- they are two of the loveliest people that I've the privilege of meeting thru the Players. I'll be singing with two beauties as Amber walks down the aisle, something I haven't done since the Newlandwed's wedding... whoa for a very short second there, I had written "since Mandamanda's wedding". Oops.

On walking to VicHall, where the wedding will be happening, I passed a car parked around the corner that was running. Locked and running. On returning home? The car was still locked and running. After walking the dog? Nearing 4 hours later... the car was still running. I didn't see a key in the ignition, someone must have hit the "start" button inside their house... I just couldn't figure out which house.

A little while later, I'm chatting with the neighbour over the fence, she lives around the corner, but as the lots are all shaped oddly, she backs onto my yard... There are only two houses between us. She's debating where to put a vegetable patch in her yard- in the past I'd had conversations with the previous owner about where to place a veggie garden- based on the sun... after two years of conversations, we figured that the front/side yard was the place that would get the most light. So, I mentioned this to the new neighbour... she was shocked... and kind of insulted by the suggestion. "Out FRONT? Tomatoes in the front? Where people could just TAKE them? No, that would be stupid".
Then I asked her if she'd seen my veggie garden in front of the house...
Keep in mind that she has two dogs... so it's likely (in my mind) that she walks them.
She sort of pointed at my house, raised her eyebrows in a "are you kidding me" look and said no.
Who doesn't walk their dogs?
Or, maybe if she's walking them downtown... who doesn't walk around their neighbourhood when they move in? She's been there since May.

I'm feeling rather judgmental today... and running with it.

Beepity beep beep beep.

Sometimes my thoughts are so fleeting (flitting?) that in the time it takes for me to compose a thought, and open the computer.... it's gone.

That just happened. Luckily (?) I was reminded 27 seconds later.

Every 46 seconds the smoke detector beeps.
I've changed the battery.
I've blown the dust from it.
I've vacuumed it.
I've even tried a second brand of batteries....
to no avail.

It's been a week of trying, and last night I decided that I'd had enough... I was going to go buy a replacement. I took it off the wall, took the battery out... and 4 seconds later

BEEP

from somewhere on the other side of the room.
From somewhere deep in the pile of boxes that I need to sort.
The boxes of goodness knows what.

There's nothing wrong with my smoke detector... there is however, something wrong with the smoke detector I had in my room on Ball St. that I packed away and never found again....

fallen

Walking home from the grocery store on Monday I had a really eye opening experience.
I had my big backpack on, walking along, when from a house behind me I heard someone screaming. Shrieking actually.

An older woman, maybe 68+? had fallen getting out of her car. Her husband had backed the car in, and parked really close to the edge of the driveway, where there was a slight drop off and a wooden divider (between the neighbour's driveway). The wife had tripped and somehow fallen between the car and the divider (not much space!)

Myself and another walker zipped over to help when we heard her fall- so we were there when the husband found her (he took his time coming around the car) I know that it was likely stress from the situation, but the husband was pretty much chastising his wife for falling, while she was crying on the ground. He tried to pick her up without asking her if she was ready, without asking if she was ok, by pulling on her arms. All the while saying things like "I told you time and again to be more careful getting out of the car there". I kind of wanted to deck him.

Instead I loudly asked her if she was ok, if she was able to sit up (husband was trying to pick her up while she was laying on the ground prone). This stopped him for a moment.

I asked her if she wanted help to sit up and rest for a moment- husband started in again on how she needed to watch where she was going. I asked her if she thought she'd be able to stand if we helped her, or if she thought we should call for an ambulance. She said she thought she could stand, but needed help because of the narrow space. I told her we were going to reach around and help her up, that she should take her time, husband again starts pulling her arms off her body by the wrist, so I calmly said "we'll help you by reaching under your arms to give you a little more support" (A "hurrumph" noise from husband, who is obviously flustered and embarrassed by all this). We get the lady to her feet and I tell her to take her time.... husband hands her some of the grocery bags from the trunk of the car!!!!!!

goodnight.

I wonder what sort of forum exists out there that we can use to educate people on how to assist others when they've had a fall? Especially for those who are aging. Yikes.

eeeewwww

so, I've realized in the past year... that the number of social networking sites I'm involved in has tripled.

if not more.

and, I realized that a number of sites that I've used over the past few years that were NOT social networking sites... have changed their focus and become SNS.

this isn't a huge problem, except for the fact that in that space of time, they've been bought up, or consolidated with the big online players... and now I've got something like 4 different google related accounts, 3 yahoo (which are connected to google), and a few other oddballs.

where's the problem?

well, now that they're all connected- I have to sign out of one to get into the other.

where's the problem?

I can't figure out which sign in goes with which password.

And some of the accounts are so old, that I can't change the password without access to the email account they are attached too... except that, there isn't an email account, because some older accounts were grandfathered in....

what?

for example... my flickr account.

now run by Yahoo... is not attached to a yahoo email. my yahoo email was a work account back in the day, and back in the day, I just signed in using my user name.... BUT, it thinks it's being smart by finding my username (my legal name) attached to that old defunct email account (that email was closed as I no longer work for that org- and I never attached the flickr account to the email address), and insisting that my flickr user name (from before it became a yahoo account) can't be changed without use of the yahoo account...

oh my, it makes my head spin.

that, and I have to sign out of gmail in order to use my youtube account, because my youtube account is attached to a different email provider. I'm sure there's a way to change these things...

I'm just annoyed that I have to... and that I have to spend time looking up how to do it.

because I honestly can't keep all these accounts straight anymore.

this wasn't what I was going to blog about tonight. I was going to write about "super size me" and my flu bug.

but when I was signing in, I realized that my account for blogger was the same as my youtube account info.. but that the two weren't related (yet)

public service announcement.

ok.
a small thing really.
this isn't directed at anyone in particular, it's just something I've been noticing.
or maybe I've noticed it for a long time, but I just don't have the patience to deal with it anymore?
is it possible for people to lose the ability to please people all the time... or rather lose the need to please?.. to be kind? to pretend to care?
or maybe I'm getting old and cranky?
I'm becoming less gracious? perhaps.
or maybe I just expect some equality.

or... and this is likely what it is.. maybe I've reached a point where I know what brings me joy, and what takes it from me, and I'm becoming comfortable enough in my own skin to recognize that which steals my joy has no place in my life.

but, I digress...


if in fact you are an incredibly negative person, and the only topic of conversation you can think of ends up being a complaint about something... or someone... that's fine. but please allow others the same courtesy they've offered you in lending their ear. if they are frustrated with something and bother sharing their frustration, don't try to prove everything they say wrong or tell them they are wrong to think that way. eventually, those people listening to you ... are either going to lose their own joy, or they're going to stop talking to you altogether.


hey, remember when you used to write as though you were two different people on your blog?

yeah, I sure do

those were good times weren't they?

they were likely confusing times

yeah... I suppose so.

dont.look.up.

sometimes. you might get to the point where you just need some time to be selfish. where there's been a lot going on, and you're in the middle of something else, and something is presented to you as an opportunity to shine and do good. and ya just don't want to.

I've been having a number of those lately, but my inner self starts screaming so loudly at me, that I have to give in, because there's just no peace in it.

take yesterday. I'm at work. I'm supporting someone working in the town hall. But, he's at the "phase out" point in his job. I do check ins on him every 15 mins right now.. not nearly enough time to go back to the office, or accomplish anything. so, I sit. and read. or more recently, write.

The front lobby of the town hall is this huge echoing space, lined with benches. I plunk myself onto one, and pull out my day timer to look up something. A woman creeps into the building, pushing her walker... and in this giant empty room... sits so close to me I have to move over - she's nearly on my lap.

don't look up.
don't make eye contact
keep flipping thru
the
day
timer
don't
do
it
crap.

I sit for the next 15 mins. I say maybe 3 words the entire time. I hear the same two stories told three times. inaconstantflowofwordsandnotonebreathistakenandidon'tknowifthiswomanhastalkedtoanyoneyettodayorifi'mthefirst....

sheesh.

Mac attack

it appears that the neighbourhood just got more awesome. Yet another amazing family moved onto the street. I have visions of street parties, campfires, good times. oh, wait.. those already happen.

The bunnies are excited that they've moved in too... 'Touf is in love with their kids, and FynnPants is from their first litter..

what's new?
I'm increasingly frustrated that I don't own my home. I figure I should at least attain one of the "normal" milestones in life that my peer group has set, and at this point I'm fixating on this one.
sheesh.
problems with this...
1) since when do I care about milestones?
2) since when do the people I went to highschool with count as my "peer group"?
3) houses are expensive... a puppy would be cheaper... and much more entertaining
4) I think it's signalling a midlife crisis.

if someone would like to give me a winning lotto ticket, or a farm... it would be much appreciated.
I'm going to go sort some worms.

the great eternal mystery.

have any clue what that is?

That's me.. after I've finished my laundry. I own a number of pairs of socks and underwear. It all stems from living in an apartment that didn't have laundry facilities ... and having a lifestyle that didn't fit sitting around in a laundromat for hours on end... at least, not often!

So... I can go a few weeks without doing laundry.

This picture shows what happens when you put off doing laundry- and allow yourself to wear mismatching socks when you don't take the time to wash everything at the same time....

yeah... 14 socks with no mates.

not cool.

they'd have been better off with lost mittens

poor little kittens.

Yesterday I was putzing around the kitchen, when the doorbell rang.
That in itself was odd- people don't ring our doorbell! They come in. Generally, they come in while I'm in the bathroom. On the toilet. It's like magic.
So this young guy (grade nine maybe?) was standing at the door looking nervous, and I open the door, and he asks me if I have a cat.
I look at him a little confused and tell him that I don't. Now he looks confused.
He then said "well, you've got kittens".

Turns out, the funny noise I'd heard earlier wasn't a squawky bird.. it was two tiny new little black kittens. Sitting on the cement walkway beside the house. Kittens shouldn't be laying on the walkway like that... I knew something wasn't right. Big ugly flies were buzzing around them.

I thanked the boy and walked around the kittens- I didn't see or hear any others- so they hadn't just scooted their way out from their little home- and I'd heard the funny noise about an hour before- so I figured it was a safe bet they'd been abandoned by mom. I scooped them up and carried them into the house to find a box and a towel for them.... I put them in the towel, and that's when I noticed the blood.
We zoomed off to the vet right away... but it was too late for the little guys. The flies had been laying eggs on and in them.... the one was being eaten alive, a big hole went nearly right through him... the other didn't look like it would do much better... The vets were great, they said they'd look after the expense of putting them down, they were very realistic about how much time and money it would take to try to save the one- and how very real it was that he'd probably be dead in the next hour or so...
I don't like cats.
But I love kittens.
The whole ordeal made me very sad.
Do what Bob Barker says.
Get your pets neutered people!

:(

I'm so grumpy.

vacation has officially started and I hate everyone.

I think it comes from having to be nice too much ....

don't try to cheer me up, I just need to hate for a bit.

Part 3?

Another night of deception. 

And, as any good night of deception should be- this one was not planned to deceive anyone.

All week BabyKate and I have been looking forward to watching Romeo and Juliet in the park (bring your lawn chair type event). We knew that we'd be skipping the run... and so we made it extra special by eating lots of crap for dinner too. 'Cause, you know... that's a good idea.

Dinner was greasy and lovely, and we splashed on the bug spray before we walked to the park.

It's not a long walk to the park, but it's annoying to carry your chair there... 

Especially when you get more than halfway- and discover that Sunday the Ninth of August does NOT in fact exist. 

But that a good time was had by all on Saturday the Ninth of August.

oh! but we did get ice cream and hung out at the trailer... so all was not lost.

fam damn-ily

I love my family... now, family reunions... I'm not so fond of.

Ok, I like the part where I get to see everyone and catch up with them- I like the part where we get too see the little kids and how much they've grown. I even enjoy the drive down!

I don't however enjoy the comments made by "well meaning" family members- the ones that hurt without intention- but are made without a thought before they're said.

For example- three cousins have had some fertility issues... including several losses each. But, that doesn't stop people.... "when are you going to give little [kid's name] a brother or sister? it must be lonely for them?" or "it's too bad [delightful devil child] is an only baby, when are you two going to give him/her a sister?" I'll admit I was thankful that I was only asked BY EVERY FREAKIN' PERSON when I was going to settle down and start my own family... And only twice did someone say "well [patting my shoulder and looking sadly at me], it's never too late, someday, someone will come along".
/me bangs head on desk.

I had lined up a baby for use at the reunion. But knew full well that no one else in the car would want me to be bringing a borrowed baby along for the ride.
Maybe next year I can show up with my illegitimate child and throw them for a loop.

post 1030, time... 0130

I'm trying to get into a better sleep pattern.

I remember last year my sister saying she was having a hard time sleeping... and I remember thinking "that SUCKS... glad I don't have that problem!" 

I've never had a hard time getting to sleep... especially after that year of not getting enough sleep- it was like my body learned "if you stop moving, shut down". 

Lately, I wonder if my body has memory problem.

Tonight however... that's not what's kept me awake.

Ok, so I made the foolish decision to stay up and watch the end of Jumanji on Tv. I'd never seen the end of it (did you know it came out in like... 1995? I had no idea) When I went to see it in the theatre, it was with a few people from my youth group- and the film tore. So we only saw half, and they gave us free tickets to come back to see it... and I never bothered. Anyway... the Tv version is pretty choppy. They skipped a lot I think. Or maybe the original sucked. 

No, I haven't been kept up by visions of rhinos chasing me down from a board game (like the movie)... no, instead, I was just doing some chasing of my own.

The movie ended, I stood up. I looked for 'Touf..  he was out in the sun porch, so I thought. Nope.. not on the sun porch.

So I turn to go back into the house, but glance outside at my car.

funny.. it's raining.

funny, the rain makes it look like I don't have that dent on the side of my car...

funny, the rain makes my car look clean.

funny... the rain makes it look like the interior light is on in my car.

...

the light turns off.

I look down the road and watch two youth... I'm guessing 16-17, backwards hats, close to the same height, baggy pants, one in black, one in tan, both with backpacks... laughing and walking away.

I walk out the door and follow them.

nearing the corner... and I've gained considerably on them 'cause they don't know I'm there.... 

I call out "ummm, excuse me?"

One starts to look back... and... the other says NO... and they keep walking.. they get to the corner, and I see them start to run as they round... 

So I TEAR down the street (barefeet ... my flip flops broke today) and round... to nothing. I keep running (even though I hear laughter and shouting coming from inside the first door on the corner) just to make sure they aren't around the side of the building....

then... 

I go and stand on the street corner for 10 mins. 

A guy and a girl come out the door, walk to the pizza place, and come back... they didn't buy anything. They try to talk to me as they return (I'm standing in front of their house). I grunt. and glare at them... knowing full well they were sent out to see if I was sticking around.

I walk back to the house.

Put on a sweater.

then go back to standing in front of their house.

get bored after two minutes.

and go home and call the police.

I should have just walked to the police station. 

It's across the street... it's just they make everything a hassle when you go in there... 

And besides. I've heard that none of them are single.

That... and I'm still not wearing any shoes

too wound up to go to sleep now. 

cop car just passed the house for the third time.

April Fools

I wish I was really good at pranks.

travel in a not so lonely planet

I love Ian Wright. We've gone over this before.
He is the standard to which I judge all other travel hosts by (and trust- I am extremely judgemental when it comes to television).
Last night I landed on the discovery network while I hemmed and hawed over weather to have a shower or a bubble bath. (the shower won out in the end)... anyway, while I sat there, this show came on. Fabulous premise. Really. Two guys and a camera man, one year, travelling all over the place, meeting up with their various contacts around the globe. How cool is that?
UN COOL.
Because... these boys were... well... boys! One, a dumb college boy, who acted like an overly privileged brat the whole show... the other... you could see maturing (a bit), but it was still painful (it was the first episode) but... ug, I was so upset watching it... insanely jealous that these guys had the money handed to them... so they could drink their way around the world one frat party at a time!
BAH!

OK, I am unfair.

I could NOT look away. The redeeming quality? The part that made it actually... really... really good?

The camera guy. He was a genius.
I felt like I was watching an art project.
I will watch again.
With the sound off.
"Departures"