The mountains have deep valleys.

I have never been tossed about like this.

This weekend I returned to the weird and wonderful world of the conference formerly known as OCFF. The newly renamed FMO (Folk Music Ontario) is likely one of my favourite places to be. Each time you turn around there's people I haven't seen in a while, musicians I've long admired, sea shanties sung in stairwells, new contacts, new friends, new crushes, new loves, new thoughts, new music, new collaborations,  new discussions, old discussions and long running jokes.

This was likely my favourite conference so far. I knew my jobs well and was able to help them run efficiently. I'm more comfortable in my skin with each passing year and not afraid to speak up and engage people. I was part of a really well attended panel that was fun and informative and it felt awesome to be able to contribute back to the community. And I've developed friendships that are comfortable even if they only happen in real life once a year.

Things in my day to day life have been stressful on and off for quite some time. Nothing huge that stands alone, but cumulatively it's enough that I've been weighed down emotionally. And didn't really notice it...  Until I started to laugh this weekend.

Like really laugh.
Deep belly laughs that left me gasping
crying
coughing.
Multiple times.

When did I last laugh like that?
The fact that I had to stop and really ask myself that question hurt.

When I finally fell into bed each morning (there's no sleep at OCFF/FMO) I fell into deep sleeps- filled with dreams of joy. No nightmares, no stresses... I probably could have slept without my mouthgaurd. When I woke up, I was smiling.

That is the way to spend a weekend.
Shedding everything else.

And then I came home.
I sat on my couch and readied myself to go back to work.

And I fell over the cliff into the valley with a single phone call.

"are you at home? we lost the baby"

8 year olds

6-10 is my favourite age for all humans.
Seriously.
They're acquiring knowledge so fast their parents can't keep up, they're discovering amazing things... and hormones haven't gotten in the way and screwed everything up.

If every child could be between 6-10 forever, well... I'd have 30 children.

Anyway, there's an especially bright 8 year old that I have the honour of spending time with. She's one of my ukulele students, and this kid... she's super special. I have to try not to laugh at everything she says, try not to write down EVERYTHING she says- you can see the engines firing as she tries to sort out the world around her... she's making other kids look bad.

REAL BAD.

Tonight we were talking about the hatching eggs that I'd picked up the day before. Her mom was asking a little about the process, and of course... it's about chickens, so I'm more than happy to share what I know. I'd said moments before, that I'd had a rooster but ended up eating it- because roosters weren't welcome in the neighbourhood. And that I'd had to get my eggs from a friend who had roosters.

Without missing a beat she asked "oh, what do rooster eggs taste like?"
Quick recovery answer about eggs that were fertilized with a look of apology to her lovely parents.
And we all doubled over laughing.

wedding stories

Baby stories, Wedding stories... I remember when I first got cable and those were the only shows I would watch... at the beginning of the reality television craze, a year into the Survivor franchise...
I don't have cable anymore... mostly because of the reality television craze, I feel like I get enough depressing and guilting through facebook.
Meanwhile... I'm watching "The Voice".
I never promised I'd make sense.

One day while watching the baby story I got really really confused. I was sick. I'd taken the day off work and was laying on the couch watching program after program of baby story. The Mom-to-be was named Pricilla... I glanced at the screen in my drug induced haze "uh, she looks kinda familiar". Whatever.
Back to half-masted eyelids.
Then the Dad was introduced... Jeff.

"These are really strong drugs", I thought.

Then opened my eyes and watched my cousin become a Dad.... I didn't even know they'd been pregnant.

Baby story: Real life edition
Wedding Story: Real life edition

Sweet two year old flower girl is playing under the stage during last night's dance, her dad walks up and pulls her out from under the stage... "Do you want to dance with me?"
"No, I'd rather dance with this pole".

Amazing.

Baby Story: Real life edition 2.0 tomorrow.

grow time!

So I finally conceeded that the back yard is no place for my raised bed. There's just not enough sunlight to support the things I want to grow back there. Taking a cue from the victory garden I worked in two summers ago with sweet Richard, I got brave, decided not to care what the neighbours think... and moved the bed to the front yard!

I still need to give the yew bushes a good trim to make room for the second bed that I'm going to build (next week after payday), but right now I'm really happy with the way it turned out.

I grew some veggies in that flower bed by the front door last year- so it's a natural transition. The biggest comment I've gotten since putting it in is "aren't you worried people will steal from it?" Oh good night! If people need to steal veg, they need veg! We don't have a lot of foot traffic (or any traffic) on our little street- I know most of the faces that pass by the door, or at least know which house they're headed to. We don't even get much drunk traffic after the bars close- and we're not on the route that the kids use to get to school.. so I think most of my plants are safe. I've still got the posts though to put up the squirrel/cat nets. I hate the squirrels digging up my seeds, and the idea that a cat wants to pee on my veggies grosses me out so much.

As of this morning I've got 5 little garlic babies poking their tips out of the soil... very exciting stuff. I'm trying so hard not to plant other things yet.

paddles and fuzz

I have a serious issue going on at the house.

Yes, she's a cute baby (a loaner).

Yes, he's a large bunny (a beast).

Yes, I should build the shoe rack (those boots).

But let's focus. That thunder bunny with the giant paddle feet? He's still molting. LOOK at that fur!

I've vacuumed every day for the past two weeks. I'm getting annoyed. This isn't something you can sweep up. Dust bunnies. Bigger than normal sized bunnies.

yes

um.. I can't express how much I love this video.

These will be my kids. No joke.

Starwars and instruments and books.

perfect.

There's another video of these kids, at the end one of the brothers screams in excitement for getting the piece right... haha. perfect.

Calender mix-up

Two days ago I noticed that the Daffs were coming up.

If I wasn't in my PJs already, I'd go take a picture.

So much for taking up running again.

I did ride my bike to work yesterday.

Had a really great training thing this morning - there's still so much to learn for this current position. Just when I think I've got a good handle on things, something new is thrown my way.

Thank goodness for the variety! But, it's also why I'm in my Pjs at 3:30pm on a friday night.

Awesome thing that happened today? A friend had her second child. Her first was a week early, and she was 10.2lbs... huge. The new baby boy born today was a week late... and weighed 12lbs. No gestational diabieties, just a gigantic child. Delivered naturally. wow... just... wow.