just wait

Do you ever get the feeling you're starring in your own tv show?

Like that Jim Carrey movie years back "the trueman show"? I'd never really thought about it until the movie came out, and then I was sure it was a message from MY show's producers to me. Really.

If I see something strange, I chalk it up to poor direction.

I WILL catch them in the act. I'll figure out how to get out of my show.

This morning was one of those moments.

When I let the hens out to free range in the yard, I usually sprinkle a little feed out in the yard. "Scratch", it's made of cracked corn and some other grains... the squirrels sit on the fence shaking their tails at me.

There's always a little left behind, so I've been getting some wild bird visitors and those tail shaking squirrels usually get a snack too.

This morning I watched a sweet little mourning dove walk down the path and start to round the gate, I turned away from the window to do something, then looked out again... AND THE BIRD WAS IN THE EXACT SAME PLACE walking at the same speed, just about to round the gate... laws of motion don't support this sort of occurrence. That bird should have been 3 feet or more from that spot at it's current pace... unless? UNLESS!! The director to my show had yelled "FREEZE" and even the dove froze.

That was the only explanation that made sense in my mind.

Until I saw the first bird out in the yard past the gate, and realized that I was just seeing a second bird.

Thankful

Thanksgiving...

Sometimes being thankful is hard. 

We have so much, and ... well, we have so much.

It's a rough year for some people.. keep them in your prayers.

Thanks

snow day conversations

(this one's a long one... sorry)
(I love snow days)


Bess says:
in answer to your question... it's a hybrid. Not to be confused with the Liger. it's a Liamb

schenectady: so what was it? lion or lamb? says:
yeah?

schenectady: so what was it? lion or lamb? says:
'cause its been a bit of a debate

Bess says:
there's no debate... only DNA evidance. March gave birth to a Liamb

schenectady: so what was it? lion or lamb? says:
most people who were snowed in last night are saying that it counts as lion and that we having nothing but goodness to look forward to

Bess says:
now, the resulting offspring won't be able to mate... sooooo... I don't know where that leaves us, but I'm fully confidant that the month will end with something like a Laon

schenectady: so what was it? lion or lamb? says:
i think it all means that Jesus is coming back before next march

Bess says:
sweet

schenectady: so what was it? lion or lamb? says:
and i'm fine with that

Bess says:
I'd better mail you your christmas gift then

schenectady: so what was it? lion or lamb? says:
hahahaha

schenectady: so what was it? lion or lamb? says:
and i'd better get married - i just don't want to die a virgin

Bess says:
ditto... maybe if I post this, we'll both pick up?

schenectady: so what was it? lion or lamb? says:
hmmm

schenectady: so what was it? lion or lamb? says:
i was just going to start hanging around seminaries

Bess says:
HAHAHA

schenectady: so what was it? lion or lamb? says:
but you can still post it

schenectady: so what was it? lion or lamb? says:
maybe seminary people read your blog

Bess says:
we can only hope.

too much

Last night I hit the Lawless gallery for a triple mix of Aengus Finnan (yay!) Catherine Maclellan and Tanya Davis. Now, the last time I saw Catherine was at the Oasis, and the sound mix was awful and I was SO distracted by it I had to focus hard on what was being played... but last night, I got to do the board... for all three, so I was quite content.

Anyway, that's not what I wanted to write about!

Two weeks ago, driving the 28 home, I was (as per my usual routine) listening to the Vinyl Cafe on CBC, but it was a little different... instead of the show on the road, Stuart was in the studio, doing a program on "Sad songs". The idea being, that if you hear a really sad song, it'll just make you feel a little better. I agreed, so I kept listening. That was the day that the sun was blinding me all the way home...

A little Leonard was played, and then Stuart said something to the effect of "sometimes a song that sounds happy can be one of the saddest of them all" and launched into the story behind Gene Maclellan's depression and how "Snowbird" reflected him the best of all his songs... The cheery song came on the radio... and while I listened to it and thought about the sadness of the song (and his eventual suicide) I started to get a little weepy... The song ended and Stuart said just a few lines... about Catherine (his daughter) and how she must have been thinking about her dad as she wrote the next song...
That next song was one she wrote about her dad, and there's a line in it about putting his records on to listen to them, when that line was sung I started to cry...
All I could think about was the powerful painful process that is behind song... behind poetry... behind putting your most intimate thought onto paper or playing it out loud.
I thought about who would be listening to the songs, to even just that program that day... what if... what if Catherine were listening to that program? Would she hurt more over hearing the stories and songs played together? Or would it be healing, knowing that others could feel along with her? I resolved then and there that I was NEVER going to write a song down again... something so personal... so... entirely open.. so ... *sigh*
Then a letter was read... a letter about Tanya's new Cd, and a piece was played called Sadness.* By the end I was still so upset by the fact that words are so powerful, but I knew I'd better get a new pen.

.... put down my handkerchief, for a pen with good ink flow and then
put down a new poem and then something insightful..... make it worth my while.

*also listen to "Art"... it just confirms it.

two hours and eight minutes remain

that's all that's left of this year.
Guess what... it's ending exactly as it started. Big surprise.

This year has brought a lot with it... I don't know that I've bothered to take the time to process it all... so, my one and only resolution... take the time and think about it all.


ummm... and maybe redesign the blog.