FAI2013 wrap up

Ok,
I've returned from Folk Alliance.
I'm beat... not in the way I've been beat on returning from OCFF in the past -I've learned that if I only have one or two drinks each night during showcases I'll a) not want to die the next morning from fatigue b) hear more music and c) have a better time!

I'm beat in that "my brain no longer functions in a way that allows me to form a sentence" way, and I'm just plain old "people'd out". I need to stare at a wall and sing loudly to myself or not hear ANYTHING for a few hours. Either approach should do the trick.

What did I see?
What did I love?
What did I learn?
Who did I meet?

I don't have answers for any of that right now.

Wait.. that's a lie.

I went to 8 showcases and an awards presentation Wednesday night, 1 thursday (I came in just in time to start my volunteer shift, then went to bed...) 3 workshops, 6 showcases, and 14 private showcases Friday, 8 showcases and ... um... 12? private showcases Saturday.... um... I think ... just doing the math quick in my head, that's close to 70 acts. Not counting the randoms playing in lobbies and stairwells and volunteer check-in... Some well loved favourites, and a bunch of new (to me) solos/groups...  

I heard some AMAZING stuff this week. Live music will always trump a recording...

My favourites tomorrow night....

my very own garfield minus garfield

A few years ago one of the sheffrat family introduced me to the joys of "garfield minus garfield". A series of comics showcasing poor John's life, Garfield is taken out of the frames.. it's funny, and sad.

This morning I laughed so hard I puked.

Two things here- Early in the morning, or late at night, if I'm tired - I puke easily. It's just one of those awesome things about me. If I cry too hard, laugh too hard, or even think about it... my stomach will often turn on me.

The other? The reason for the laughter. The... garfield minus garfield of the situation.

WHY (the week of valentines) is this so in the forefront? Other than posting that article on the book of face, I've done nothing different... why so many notable crazies?

I got another of those stimulating emails ("hi how r you") from a winner on the dating site. I'm not going to post his photo (that would be mean)... but his blurry self-taken photo (not even a bathroom mirror shot) showed an unshaven (not in the good way) slightly drunken man in a basement apartment. Location? That often mocked industrial city to the west of us.

His "about me section" has been changed since I read it in the morning, but at the time it said

"Oshawa Ontario, hey what girl i like to go for bake run and i like to go i like to go for woke i like to work on car i am for shawa i like to work to i like to lis to music i like mover to i like tv to cool"

He also wanted to go for caffe for his first date.

But the part that brought me to the porcelain with my uncontrollable laughter was in his bio- there's a section that has quick info listed in the same order on each profile, including schooling, employment, pets, if they have a car, if they drink/do drugs.

(no joke)

Pets: Cat

Profession: -cat

almonds - clowns

person 1 enters the room. On the floor, a table on it's side Two shoes are hanging from it by their heels. Nearby, there is a single glove, three clothes pegs and a container of almonds laying in a row on the floor. Ideas of entertainment float into focus.

Person 1 is encouraged instead to be in the space. Not to judge the items before they've been encountered. P1 is annoyed, the idea of turned up noses to old shoes is funny! A script is being formed- but P1 allows the idea to be discarded and walks to the objects to investigate.

It's painful for a few seconds. Just viewing the items. trying not to formulate. Touching them, but not trying to force an idea on the way things "should" unfold. Finally... long moments later... the glove is picked up, and pinned to the wall. P1 stares at it, shrugs, and starts to eat out of the container of almonds. P1 pauses and throws an almond at the glove, it hits the glove and falls to the floor. P1 allows a small smile to escape, and placing the container of almonds on the floor, begins to play a basketball-like game with the almonds and the glove. Each shot is missed.

P2 enters the room, and watches. Slowly P2 approaches the game. P1 has missed every shot, but doesn't seem frustrated. P2 asks what P1 is playing, and if they can play too.

P1: CATCH! throws the almond
P2: I'll try! catches easily and tosses it back to P1

the almond is thrown back and forth, till P1 takes the almond and pretends to slam dunk it into the glove... P1 goes for the dunk, and with the other hand, opens the glove up wide and places the almond inside.

P1: TOUCHDOWNS!

P2: again!

P1: tosses the almond, catches, and pumps her fists in the air... we're really good. Champions!

We could win a trophy!

p2: how would you look if you won a trophy?

P1: places hands on hips and sticks out their chest, head held high.

How would you look?

P2: strikes a pose. Here, let me try! Pass it to me!

the almond is tossed back and forth, P2 goes for the shot... and misses. The almond falls, P2 falls, and the almond breaks.

P2: I didn't do it. It broke. I never win ANYTHING!

P1: This is really sad. We're not going to get the trophy. I've never really won anything before. I wanted a trophy..... Have.. you ever won anything?

P2: gets up off the floor I don't remember it, but I was told I won "cutest baby"

P1: cutest baby doesn't count.

P2: crestfallen. I don't think I've won anything then.

P1: That's ok. moments pass What if we pretended we won? and it was like the Olympics? and we got up at the podium, and they all clapped for us? It would be like winning? Here, we can step up on to the podium and pretend.. we can sing the national anthem!

P1 steps onto an imaginary podium and begins to bow.

P2: I don't think I can do it....

P1: yes you can, here, I'll hold your hand!

P1 drags P2 onto the podium. P2 has P1 in a death grip.

P2: hisses quietly ... I'm scared!

P1: It's ok, you don't have to be scared. I'm holding your hand.

P2: I don't think I can do it.

P1: want to know something that works for me? Just look out at the people and pretend they're all naked.

P2: looking straight at P1 Ok....

P1 and P2 slowly look away from eachother, look out at the audience, their eyes growing wide.. and start laughing....(after a beat the audience realizes that the laughter really is directed at them.... ) they begin to walk off the stage, P1 offers more advice for bravery as they walk....


**post script**
unfortunately, the txt here will never ever capture the moment.
the pauses, the gestures, the fear and joy on the faces of the clowns... the painful moments of discomfort waiting for things to be reviled. .. honestly discovered on the fly.

after the "cutest baby doesn't count" line, and up till the "pretend they're naked" line, things are a little guesstimated... there was a little too much laughing to keep it all straight.

One of my proudest moments was when the next group and the instructor made a comment about how difficult it would be to follow us. It felt so good after a frustrating morning of trying hard not to allow myself to "script" what I thought would be funny.