As promised, a little run-down of the auditions from a few weeks ago.
'umberland Players are putting on "the 25th annual putnam county spelling bee". Long name, great little show.
It's a show of just leads. There's no chorus backing them up, so I was quite hesitant to try out. But,like I mentioned a while ago, I was encouraged by someone who said a few times "my dream cast includes you, x, y, and z". In conversation with this person, they talked about the show and how "we'd" be doing it, what "our" set was going to look like... and a few other comments that made me feel like it was in the bag. So, yes, I was pretty hurt when I didn't get the part.
BUT. That comes from my biggest weakness.
My greatest strength.
Something that I still need to learn to control.
The best people were chosen for the parts based on their ability to excel in the audition process.
I don't know if I have the vocabulary to describe this fully, I've touched on it before.... and it's long, so feel free to skip it.
I have, since I was about 16, been blessed with the fantastic ability to hear harmony. Music in a whole sense. There's a physical sensation that I feel when I hear music- some people say they sense numbers in colour, people refer to seeing something and nearly being able to taste the vision, I have a physical sensation when I hear music. It happens mostly in my throat and neck- but when a "complete" piece of music is heard, I feel it down into my chest. A squeeze and release that follows the shape of the notes, and the sense that there are two portions in me, one leaning against the other in sound, pushing for a balance, and when the balance is reached, it's a tight feeling, nearly painful in it's perfection.
I used to joke that I had "harmony-itis", and the only way I could explain what was happening in me was that I only heard the harmony... but, when I take it apart, note by note... I hear the melody in my ears and my head, and my brain turns my response into the right "lean" to create a balance. When I sing a harmony, unless it's one I've learned by repetition... I don't know what I'm singing... I couldn't sing it back to you without the melody because it doesn't exist in my mind. A physical response to "fill out" the sound.
ug. I just read what I wrote and it sounds so stupid!
Why aren't we given the vocabulary for these sort of things?
So, to learn a melody takes me a little time.
I have to force myself to step away from the music, and learn the physical characteristics of the tune. If you listen carefully to me stumbling thru a new piece of music, you'll notice I'm breaking into the harmony to what I'm suppose to be learning in the most random of spots.
In an audition, in a call back, you're asked to learn a few pieces of new songs and sing them solo. I'm just not quick enough on the draw to learn the melody and sing it confidently.
So, the strongest person gets the part. That's the way it should be.
Someday, I'll develop what I've got. Or I'll find a use for it beyond singing around a campfire.