the wreck and ruining

So a few days back I read on a CD liner a thank you to someone for "wounding [their] spirit with their words". "be ruined for the ordinary" Was a quote I read in University.. my memory fails me as to who's it was. And it got me to thinking... when was I first (if ever) so impacted by someone's words, that it touched me to the core and changed me... I'm not talking about taunting children; playground sticks and stones or off-hand comments sent by a bad summer job boss. But where something I've heard was so direct to who I am, so revealing about the world around me... that things stopped, scrambled, and started again with new character to the story.
I can think of maybe two or three instances in my own life where it's happened.
I'm sad that the people who created those moments aren't really a part of my life anymore.
then because it was a CD liner that brought the whole issue up in the first place I started thinking about songs, lyrics, that have ruined me.
No laughing.
thank you.

Grade six, somewhere amidst "worm at the bottom of the garden" , "run terry run" and "go tell aunt Rhoady" we lay our heads on our desks (at the prompting of Miss.Kingsly) and closed our eyes. She put on a cassette and we listened to a story of a lake that never gave up her dead. I spent weeks looking up large boats in the encyclopedia, tearful for the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Grade ten, Boy on a Dolphin "words inside" joined our family collection (as did Skydiggers "just over this mountain" ) suddenly I was out to save the world, cutting beer can holders, banning tuna from our home... (and wondering if Latin music could ever hand and hand with a banjo... )

Second Year Uni, some worship together live mix tape... "we want to see" (a song I previously thought was the cheesiest ever) At the end of the song, the music and band stopped... but the crowd kept going and going... I had visions of crowds of people who truly wanted to see Jesus lifted high... His Name being sung so loudly that NO ONE could help but hear and KNOW the truth... people falling to their knees.... I still get that vision.. and I start to weep.

few months ago, (ok, ok, I'm NOT stalking him, give it up guys) Aengus Finnan "fool's gold" I think it's called "war bride's waltz". Was listening to it. Had to pull over I was crying so hard... the idea of a faithful love....

last month, watched the Man in Black's "hurt" video (twice). Spent the whole night dreaming about the video and hurting people around me....

a peeve

I HATE IT when people commit to blogging... and then don't do it.....
ohhh, wait...
never mind....

EmPHAsis more on Party.... than on Tupperwear

yes, yes, the day has nearly arrived, that fateful day wherein I will launch myself into adult-hood by hosting my first (AND ONLY) tupperwear party.
Sadly, I've had to lure some of my friends with the promise of (cheap) wine. I'll just tell them it's wine maybe they'll believe it. ok, probably my landlord won't being as she owns a pub... but maybe I can pay her to keep it a secret.
PRAISE GOD!!! So as many of you know I've been moping around trying to figure out money issues since I returned home... bills need to be paid even if you leave the country for God! I was super excited when I finished my income tax and figured on receiving a fairly substantial chunk-o-dough. So I telefiled (mmm, buttons to be pressed!) and waited expectantly by my mailbox.
and waited
and waited
and waited
and waited....
yes, that's one "waited" for each agonizing week of torture.
I started to think that maybe the mailwoman was afraid of Norty the Wonder Bunny crouched (and ready to pounce) under the mailbox... so I put the gate up again to protect her...
still no little brown e-van-lope.
Today I called my old room-mate in the petes...
My money has been sitting there for two weeks.
*sigh*
I'm skipping the gym tomorrow and driving North for it's retrieval.

Met a man with a wooden leg named Peg

There are four HUGE swans that moved in on the far side of the harbour last week. I've seen them everyday when I've gone for my walk, but today while I was on the pier, they swam over.
The swan in the lead was swimming like CRAZY but he was lurching along. When they got close (ok, they stopped right in front of me.. I think someone's been feeding them and I was mistaken for the handout person) The one has a wonky foot. He holds it up out of the water when he swims. I was with one of the guys that I support at work, and he was really concerned for this swan! But it was neat the conversation that we were able to have because of it. The fact that it was the fastest swan, and that it tried hard, and had grown up so well despite it's disability... The guy I was with, said as we walked away "I'm strong too, let's walk faster".

spring

I keep forgetting the way that the valley effects EVERYTHING. If my last post hadn't been eaten, it would support me on that one.
I was zipping into town and it was dusk. I got into town and I had a good half hour of daylight left! Handy; as the landlord took down our christmas lights, making it hard to find the keyhole in the door.

It smells SO good out tonight.
The fresh damp country air... wet medow...
the kind of air you want to go for a walk in,
get cold in,
then snuggle up with someone because of....
I like spring.

!

I just wrote a long post about what's going on and how I'm doing and what I'm thinking...
and the computer ate it.

?

is it wrong to post comments on your own site?

I had something really important to write today.. and now that I've got two mins to write it... it's gone from my mind.... how sad.

oh, and I've decided to stop with the infauation, some of my friends have been taking it too seriously. The other day one of them was GENUINELY concerned over what my reaction would be if I found out he was dating someone! (A good infatuation-er knows when the object of their infatuation is dating!) Therefore, they withheld the information for fear that I would be devastated...
That said.. I saw his van at the train station today. And he's got a concert on the 1st in PTBO. That's all folks!

lu-keeeey!

it's offical, I recieved the email today.

Joy Bible Camp, Jr. Youth 2005's theme:

Napoleon Dynamite

I'm still not sure if I should go put on my moon boots.. or hide in my locker.

"At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here?"

quips from the frontline

Hold tight, these are actual things that were said to me today...

Refreshed means being re-freshed, did you know that?

(in following a van taxi.. the name "van taxi" is printed ALL over it) Oh, would you look at that, it's some kind of taxi...van... a van...taxi....? wow... I've never seen anything like that before.

I bet that was pretty nice of me to colour you that picture don't you think?

(and my personal favorite)
I'm taking a social skills class, a socializing skills class. We watch movies.
Everybody likes to have skills. Skills are important to have. Nutritional skills, math skills... we have math review right now... it's like reviewing math, but it's math review. We add and review.

lately

that song was on in my car again....

Here I am just a man, one of oh so many
with coin in hand, at this old wishing well
and I don’t know if I believe in making wishes
but something has me saying, “only time will tell”

So, I wish I was a breeze in summer
I’d wrap around you, I’d dance in your hair
and if for a moment you should chance to breathe me
I’d carry your voice ‘til it filled the air

Lately skies have me thinking about you
on open roads I hear your voice, I have to turn
not one face or story, not one single song of glory
has ever won back my heart from you....


(taken from “Lately”
Anegus Finnan)