FAI Hashdown

It's Wednesday night.
Tomorrow night I have no plans to go out... and it's EXACTLY what I need.
Why? Because I need to do boring normal people things. I need to do laundry and I need to get some writing done..  I need to ... crap. in writing this I just remembered I do have plans.

This is why I write.


I figure I'll go thru some of my favourites from Folk Alliance and share them here...

So, like OCFF, basically there are the public showcases and then the private ones. I missed The Milk Carton Kids in their public showcase, but I managed to shoehorn myself into their last private showcase.  Picture this if you can- a Suite in the hotel, the bed has been removed, the couches pushed against the wall. These suites can fit about 30 comfortably, room for people to move around, the band at the "front".

Now get rid of the front of the room... place two singers in the round- in the centre of the room... fit more chairs in... now shove people into every available space and start to question the structural integrity of the building when you realize there's more 80 people in the room.

Got that?

ok.

now the sound guy says "you're all going to have to be silent for this to work", as the humidity in the room has shorted out something in the board and it's suddenly an acoustic set... the room goes silent, and stays silent for the entire 30 minute set... except for that part when someone in the hall knocks on the door trying to get in.. and the entire room (including the musicians) dies of laughter as each person realizes they can't even turn to look at the door.

Mush up against someone and listen to this...

It's like simon and garfunkle had babies with ron sexsmith and then those babies locked themselves in their bedrooms till they were 25 with only their guitars to keep them company. Like that.

house guests

Those of you who are on instagram are pretty aware of this, and likely sick of the topic... but I had some pretty great house guests this past weekend.

Oscar and Mercedes.

I had to move furniture out of the way to make room for these sweet puppies, make space so they could turn around. Their toes were longer than my fingers. They could rest their heads on my bed (I have to give a little hop to get on the bed). They could look up slightly and touch my nose with their noses. Walking with them beside me gave me arm rests. I think Oscar broke my nose when he swung his face into mine cuddling on the couch. There are poops the size of horse poops in my backyard (glad kitchen catchers came in handy on our rambles- sharp ice would tear grocery bags when I went to pick up messes on walks... I loved every second of it.

Since I was 12 I've wanted a Dane... Honey was the first Dane I ever met... Avril from the animal shelter would bring her into work every once in a while as a special treat for me. I was a dog walker for years there... she'd bring in Honey (a fawn) and I'd march her around my walking route... proud as could be with this giant beast calmly walking along beside me.

Having these pups at the house was a dream come true... and a discovery.

I'll never get a Dane. 

Not in this house... not likely in this lifetime. The food alone would bankrupt me. Let alone car payments on something they could fit in... And I walked 25km this weekend... just to tire them out... I feel like my ankles are going to break.  And the fur! And the drool! I couldn't stay clean. They're so loving, but that love wipes those giant lips over your shoulder and the slime sort of gathers... and the fur sticks to it... and... 

Thank God for washable slip covers.

towering tiaras and even higher hair

Sometimes strange things happen to me.. around me.. whatever.

ok, maybe not just "sometimes".

Last week I attended a bachelorette party in the city, two carloads of fantastic women that I've met thru my time with Northumberland Players...  I still haven't wrapped my mind around what happened that night, but the long and the short of it?

I've a crush on a drag queen.

Amber's big party night took place at "Crews and Tango" and "Zippers"... we were there for the drag shows... First I have to say- going to this was WAY more fun than just going dancing at a bar... Sure we danced a little... but mostly we took in the show. For the uninitiated, going to watch a drag show is like going to watch a variety show/talent show. Delightfully entertaining.

There were some terrifying old hag-like drag queens- the type that I'd totally expected to see, and there were some fantastic young queens and kings beautiful and talented... I had crown envy all night.... towering tiaras and even higher hair.

Then it happened.

After entering the second bar... after giggling thru Vitality Black's set (a muscled teeny tiny Tina Turner dynamo bouncing all over the stage)... she came in.
Heaven Lee Hytes.

I could very nearly not breathe.
I've never seen someone so beautiful in my entire life...
male or female.
I turned to one of my friends (a regular at such shows) after a few minutes and said "oh no! What have you done to me!? I have a CRUSH on a drag queen!!" She laughed.

Seriously, the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Very feminine, but also so much man. I spent a great deal of time trying to picture her as a him. Perfect nose, perfect jawline, eyeballs that drilled deeper into my soul than Justin Rutledge's eyeballs have ever drilled into anyone's soul! Legs. 6'3 of legs.

What a strange gender bending mind bending thing to have happen.


Now, I'm not the only one to have suffered such a fate. After the bar shut down we headed to Golden Griddle for some late night snacks (um, where I saw the worst thing ever.. a man in lederhosen walking down the street, small green plastic hat on his head, and hand down his pants playing with himself) and some chat about the night... turns out half the women in our group had fallen in love...
Ever the writer, Heather sums up the experience well here.

As for me now?
I want to do a twisted drag show... a woman pretending to be a man, pretending to be a woman...
I want to get beauty tips from a man named Heaven Lee Hytes.
I want to go to a million drag shows.

I still loves me the menfolk, but I think I'll be ok if my future partner has a thing for cross-dressing once in awhile.

tic tock

signs of aging...

I'm watching "the voice" and the girls are going crazy for this Charlie Rey guy... meanwhile I'm drooling over his dad.

smell that?

I watched a lot of documentaries growing up... animal kingdom type documentaries, nature of things type documentaries... Some things I just didn't "get". Like how the trees knew when to release pollen... HOW do they know???

A few nights ago I was out with some friends and ran into a guy that I know, we visited for a bit, then went our separate ways

sigh.

This isn't a person that I'm particularly interested in or attracted to.

But he has just.the.right. pheromones.

oh sorry, too much information?

hee hee

ok, MUCH MUCH better tonight.

it feels like it's really coming together... a few pretty funny things happened tonight... ok, a ton of funny things are always happening- but some that stuck out::

Horner forgot to wear underwear (don't laugh... it happens) in one scene where he's in a dress... and the dress is suppose to be lifted.... nothing was seen- there were some kids of cast members in the group....

I forgot where we were in the play at one point, and decided to go up on the bridge... as soon as I got up there... I realized I was suppose to be sitting right at the front of the stage... oops. I wandered around on the bridge for a moment or two, pretending to look for something... then wandered back to where I should have been... thankfully, an easy cover up when you're pretending to be high.

Someone popped a button on stage- somehow, I managed to pick it up with my toes (ok, it's a talent) and threw it at the band. I was aiming for Grey, but I missed (well, it's not a talent that'll get me on star search or anything...)

During a rather sad part of the play, in a moment where we need to be pretty collected- each of us trying to console the others in a time of loss.... DC2 and I are in each others arms, DC2 reaches down to grab my hand, and somehow ends up with a handful of boob. 

and I nearly miss singing my part of the duet because I'm laughing so hard. 

oh my.

k... now it's getting creepy

So I was going to do two posts tonight.. one to talk about yesterday's meeting with the mayor... and the other to talk about my worms... because I'm fascinated by them.
I decided to take a brief detour around the interwebs... and decided that in fact... Natalie Dee IS stalking me. And I couldn't be happier.

I WAS going to write this::

Well, the worm experiment is going great. I had a nightmare about them last night- someone had stolen the bin... and left me with a small box of leaves.. and 4 small wrigglers. This upset me... so for the rest of the dream, I chased after the person who had stolen them- through a full high ropes course- including one of the obstacles where you have to climb over a flashlight and a shoe. Because... uh... everyone knows that's the hardest part of a high ropes course? (whatever, leave me alone.. it was a dream) The dream ended with me smoking a nice cigarette. I'd love to be a smoker in real life. I never will be, but I have this thing... where I should be one.

Anyway, the worms... I love them. I open the bin like... 4 or 5 times a day. That doesn't seem like much, but when you factor in the fact that I'm only home 4 hours a day... well.... I might have a problem.
They smell so great.
Like fresh turned earth.
Three days ago I fed them a small scoop of bunny poop (as recommended by Ilex) it's nearly gone. Too cool. I have an abundance of bunny poop. I'm glad to have a place to put it.
Tonight- a small handful of potato and carrot peelings- they're going to need new bedding by the weekend.
I'm going slow on adding food stuffs to the box. I have a pretty small group of worms- but I was assured they'd be multiplying if they liked the set up. No one's tried to crawl out yet... I think we're doing ok.

That's what I was GOING to write.
BUT... instead... I'll just post this....




Sir Craps A-Lot... a la Natalie Dee.

LINE UP

this is the first year I haven't gone to the "line up announcement" for SVFF (well, other than the first year of the festival). past years, I've had a job that let me wander... not this year.

BUT... I am here in front of my computer (illegally) and I've got the now released list.

just let me tell you HOW EXCITED I AM!!!
I AM EXCITED!!!

This year is the 5th anniversary, and it's an all Canadian Line Up, including... Laura Smith! Suzie Vinnic!! Dala! Valdy!
Oh my goodness... how am I going to sleep????

Go here to see who else is on the roster.

green babies!

ok ok, I'll admit to stealing the "green babies" moniker from Ilex. But it's such a great little name for my tiny little green sprouts!

The weather has finally turned, and after speaking with a few garden friends, we've come to agreement, that maybe the green babies can have an early start this year! I figure since I'll be doing all raised beds, the soil will be more than warm enough, and I'll just keep my eye on the weather guy to determine if the babies will need to be covered up in their beds.

Tomorrow is a sleep in morning... finally. And for some reason I agreed to a breakfast meeting with some friends ... for 8am. honestly, I think my brain must have been sucked out to have said yes to that. Anyway, fully realizing that I'm going to be a write off, I got my laundry done, and hung tonight (fresh for tomorrow's spring breeze). The little sprouts, had the evening out in the shade with me on the deck, they liked it so much, I'm sure I could have sat and WATCHED them growing!

My camera battery died this evening as I went to download the new pics, it's plugged in now... maybe if I'm not a zombie tomorrow I'll get around to showing off "the kids".

I did however get my life organized and printed out some hard copies of my favourite pics from the past year (uh... yeah... so I only JUST realized how much easier it is to go to the photo place and get them done... vs. me actually having ink in my printer) I'm going to try to find some time to stick them into a scrapbook tomorrow, nothing fancy, just pictures and stories, very little embellishment. I'll save that for when I'm manic
;)
kidding.

Also, three sightings this week (ok, in the past two days)... errr... no, I'm not back to my old ways... just a little spring feverish.
again with the kidding.