Sunday, October 07, 2012

towering tiaras and even higher hair

Sometimes strange things happen to me.. around me.. whatever.

ok, maybe not just "sometimes".

Last week I attended a bachelorette party in the city, two carloads of fantastic women that I've met thru my time with Northumberland Players...  I still haven't wrapped my mind around what happened that night, but the long and the short of it?

I've a crush on a drag queen.

Amber's big party night took place at "Crews and Tango" and "Zippers"... we were there for the drag shows... First I have to say- going to this was WAY more fun than just going dancing at a bar... Sure we danced a little... but mostly we took in the show. For the uninitiated, going to watch a drag show is like going to watch a variety show/talent show. Delightfully entertaining.

There were some terrifying old hag-like drag queens- the type that I'd totally expected to see, and there were some fantastic young queens and kings beautiful and talented... I had crown envy all night.... towering tiaras and even higher hair.

Then it happened.

After entering the second bar... after giggling thru Vitality Black's set (a muscled teeny tiny Tina Turner dynamo bouncing all over the stage)... she came in.
Heaven Lee Hytes.

I could very nearly not breathe.
I've never seen someone so beautiful in my entire life...
male or female.
I turned to one of my friends (a regular at such shows) after a few minutes and said "oh no! What have you done to me!? I have a CRUSH on a drag queen!!" She laughed.

Seriously, the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Very feminine, but also so much man. I spent a great deal of time trying to picture her as a him. Perfect nose, perfect jawline, eyeballs that drilled deeper into my soul than Justin Rutledge's eyeballs have ever drilled into anyone's soul! Legs. 6'3 of legs.

What a strange gender bending mind bending thing to have happen.

Now, I'm not the only one to have suffered such a fate. After the bar shut down we headed to Golden Griddle for some late night snacks (um, where I saw the worst thing ever.. a man in lederhosen walking down the street, small green plastic hat on his head, and hand down his pants playing with himself) and some chat about the night... turns out half the women in our group had fallen in love...
Ever the writer, Heather sums up the experience well here.

As for me now?
I want to do a twisted drag show... a woman pretending to be a man, pretending to be a woman...
I want to get beauty tips from a man named Heaven Lee Hytes.
I want to go to a million drag shows.

I still loves me the menfolk, but I think I'll be ok if my future partner has a thing for cross-dressing once in awhile.


Candace said...

And I think the red lipstick i bought recently is pretty much the same shade. But I agree - I want a drag queen to teach me how to do my makeup, because I'm a bit helpless.

L.Bo Marie said...

Candace, honestly- you and I have to go there sometime.