going to africa in my mind....

Out in the backyard is a red mess... the bricks from the tannery have been crushed by the weight of the construction (destruction?) vehicles. It's been spread and laid out baking in the sun, swimming in the rain.... smelling of clay and dust.

There's a road that runs beside the tannery, red field on the right, green trees on the left.... It's filled with potholes... the potholes are developing potholes....

.... And if I squint just right, and tilt my head so I don't see the house at the end of the street... I can pretend I'm in Africa while I bump down the street....


This might be long... but if you sighed reading the above, it's meant for you....


You know you're from Africa when/ or you should be when.......
it doesn't seem right to pay the asking price on anything in a store. If you can't barter for it, it's not worth having....you're appalled that American grocery stores only sell one or two different types of bananas....your parents yell at you for forgetting to use silverware in public....you're going to visit your Grandparents and take you passport ~ just in case you have to evacuate....you find all the non-white people on campus so you can be a minority again....you can lead a 20 minute conversation starting with "walleponaua!!" and keep it going by replying "ehh" in numerous different tone-levels for the next half an hour! (...and have the other person exactly understand what you are saying!!)...you fear for you life while riding in a Matatu....anywhere!...you call everyone older then you uncle or aunt....you'd rather be barefoot and you know that the bloody gooey mess they call beef jerky in the States would never pass for true biltong....every toothpaste is colgate....every soap is surf....every softdrink is coca cola or fanta....you have uncles and aunts who are younger than you....black outs are nothing new to you....no running water for a day is just another ordinary thing...40 degrees is cold....You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement....four cars are driving parallel to each other on a one-lane road....The smell of freshly rained on mud paths/tarmac is comforting....being an hour late equals being "on time"...you get car sick cuz the roads just can't have enough potholes!... you pass by someones house and you know what they gonna have for dinner cuz u can pretty much see and/or smell what's cooking...you can bribe a cop and get away with it!...you have an over whelming urge to wash all your salad in milton (baby bottle bleach, supposedly kills cholera) and add a bit of charcoal to your milk just to get the taste your used to....You know that the police isn't always the safest place to go when you're in trouble....Cramming 7 passengers in a 4 passenger taxi is really not a big deal....you know never to question what you're eating (even if it does taste good), cuz sometimes you just don't want to know....you invite people for a get together at 7 and they all come at 9....football is played with some sort of ROUND ball and WITHOUT hands....everyone in your country plays soccer....you cram 24 people into a 14 passenger matuatu and have never felt closer to your African friends....you make friends with the local Shepard and know the goats by name....carry purell like it's your life supply....you spent countless hours shining your shoes when u know very well that by the time you get to the taxi stop, they'll be covered in unbelievable dirt!...you keep converting the value of things in your home currency when u see the dollar value....a plane flies by and you just cant help but look up!... you have another name in your home language.... you hate American corn, because it's never hard enough.... you've drunk real chai, not this coffeeshop stuff. (AMEN!)...you remember being so confused about how you could pay for something with a visa....you know you are from Africa when you have put Vaseline in your hair to be like your African friends..and your Mom has to take it out with OMO and Kerosene!...you expect people to tell you they're fine before you ask them...you used to shower under the rain....someone is riding their bike down the road with corrugated iron strapped width wise across the back of the bike and its taking up more than half of the road....you miss rain on a corrugated iron roof; it's so loud you have to shout to be heard....you've been proposed to while walking down the street (if you're a girl, that is, lol)...you know what true hospitality and generosity is...when those who have almost nothing still welcome you in with open arms and are willing to share everything they have with you - even though they barely know you!...someone asks you how much your sister costs....your brother tries to sell you to his college roommate for 36 cows or goats......You unwrap all your gifts carefully, so that you can reuse the wrapper....You call a person you've never met before uncle or aunt....more than 90% of the music CD's and cassettes in your home are illegal copies....you have almost always carry overweight baggage when traveling by plane....Nobody in your family informs you that they are coming over for a visit....You only make telephone calls at a cheaper rate at night...You never have less than 20 people to meet you at the airport or see you off even if it is a local flight....someone offers seven cows for your infant sisters future hand in marriage....you learn the native words for "white person" everywhere you go, because you hear it shouted everywhere you go....something that would normally take half an hour in the Western world takes a few days or weeks...and if it didn't it just wouldn't be fun....you find it completely natural to have burglar-bars outside your windows...you know the DSTV channels by heart...you known not to question the contents of your food when it tastes good...you bought your cellphone through your car window...chicken is a luxury...you wonder why there aren't any herds of cows and goats walking down the street in North America...you can smell the rain before it comes...you can look up at the sky and see every star clearly...the sunset is something to look forward to...you miss the the sound of rain on your tin roof at night, the after-rain smell, and the spectacular lightning shows....the only thing you throw away is avacado stones, and even then you wonder if you should save them and plant a tree...every white thing you own has permently turned a curious shade of orange...everywhere you walk children run up to you shouting, 'how are you! how are you, how are you?' mzungu! mzungu!...You spend as little time as possible in the toilet, and can hold your breath for amazing lengths of time....you always drink your drink straight away in front of the shop, and give them the bottle back....you spray 'Doom' in your tent before going to bed....when americans tell you that the "chai" you're drinking isn't real because it's not indian, and they think it's tea with milk. it's milk with tea......you´re NOT in Africa and you miss everything everybody else mentioned so much it hurts....you dream about Africa - a lot. ....you think of giving up trying to convince people of what it´s really like - even though they really do try, they often just don´t understand.... you expect to be able to buy roast corn, fried meat or fish, boiled yams or cassava etc whilst you are travelling on public transport....having mud-orange feet is normal.

Another letter... to the letter Q

Dear Q,

I was falling asleep the other night listening to your repeat performance... you know, that time of day when there's no better programing so they play you again... and though it's nice to have you at a slightly different time of day, it's still not a time that's accessible.
But that's not why I'm writing...
see, I figure, if you're going to advertise that you're on a second time of day, and then play the EXACT same show you just did a few hours earlier... I think maybe you should edit out the line "live show".
Just a little thing really.

the cat

I'm here to tell you about the loss of a cat.
not just any cat... the perfect cat.

You see, our "Belle" has moved far far away (name changed for her protection), and her hubby travels quite a bit with work, and being as Belle is such a cat person she thought it wise to find herself a kitten to become her dear friend. Belle's mom tried to convince her to take one of their old decrepit cats to her new home... but being as they are eighteen zillion years in age... each. She thought it wise not to subject one to a 15 hour car trip ... nor to separate these long time friends.
(I interrupt this story here with a note about the family pets... they are all odd. For example, I often can't remember their dog's name... as it is so often referred to as "stink" - the dog who burps.)
So Belle took it upon herself to wander down to the cat sanctuary in her town, and picked out this pretty little kitty, and brought it home with her. It should be noted here that this cat sanctuary is the cream of the crop in kitty headquarters. Condos for the Kitty's, giant scratching posts... any home is likely to be a step down (as noted by my friend).
So the pretty kitty came home with sweet Belle, and they tried to settle into a routine with one another.... but it just wasn't meant to be. Something wasn't quite... right.

in fact... something was just a little too.... perfect.
It was the perfect cat....
It had no issues...
And so it was returned.

If anyone in the Franklin TN area has a cat with some psychological issues could you please leave me a message, and I'll hook it up with Belle?

to add insult to ... er.. no, just insulting.

I don't know who should be taking it worse... me? or the folk singers?

Today was my day off... Mondays are my ONLY official day off, I also get every other weekend. How did I spend this day? Mostly in my Pj's playing puzzle pirates... a little Jack a la 24, then off to my car to visit Dalton before going to my Dad's.

My car.

I walked to my car. The door wasn't closed properly. Which isn't normal, as my door frame leaks a little, so I'm always careful to close it fully. Also not normal... my CD case sitting on my seat. Also not normal, my sunglasses case sitting on the seat. Also not normal, my registration in the back seat. Also not normal, the console open.

Someone broke into my car!

And by "broke into" I mean, they opened the door... I don't lock it, I don't have time to get the window fixed were it to be shattered. I immediately opened the trunk... *phew* drum still there, CD player still there, Krazy Karpet still there. Nothing missing from the trunk. I go back to the driver's side... and tally the loss. One pair of sunglasses (3 years old) and $1.75 in Canadian Tire money (which I'd counted at the car wash the other day).
Not too bad.

So at first I felt violated... someone went into my space and took my stuff.
Then I was insulted.... what? they don't like my taste in music?

and now I know

And you know what?
it's not quite "flip flops on your bike" weather, but it sure is "step on the first snail of the year" weather.

2006
2005
2004

(ok, so not all links may have to do with the first snail squash of the year... apparently I didn't think it necessary to record for all of humanity before last year)

Another great first .... campfire. I was reluctant to bathe before leaving for church this morning... the smoke was still clinging to my hair and making me smile.

poor toes

I discovered for the second morning in a row... that it's not quite "flip-flops on your bicycle" type weather.

an open letter to the letter Q

Dear Q,
I have something to say.

I don't think that it's right that you advertise a "new Friday format" when in fact... you are only two weeks old. Things that are two weeks old have no real format to begin with, so you can't have a "NEW" one.

That's all.

Ps. I think you should be on later in the day.

small change? spare change? project change....

So, I've decided as per my "feeling guilty over the environment" stage passing.... I'm going to not feel guilty, but feel good about the things I can do to make a change, and I'm going to try to make a change each month in my life that will impact the way I live (however small) changes that will impact my "footprint" size...
hey... there's a huge difference between a well fitting shoe and one that's half a size too small... If I can make even a half size difference that'd be cool with me.

SO on that note... what am I changing, what have I changed?

Last month was April... where the frig did the month go?

So, last month the roomie and I moved the bucket.

huh?

we moved the bucket into the tub.

huh? you're not back to bucket baths again are you?

we moved the bucket into the tub to catch the drips. And to catch the water that we waste while we run the water to the right temperature before a shower. I catch about one bucketful before I get it right. And then I leave it there to catch the drips from the faucet while I shower... and that crazy trickle after I turn off the water.... It surprised me how much was "going down the drain" (har har har). So... I've lots of options on this bucket of water I'm producing each morning... my plants are getting lots of water now.
AND (and this is my favorite) (as partly stolen from Mandamanda)
As we're already subscribing to the "if it's yellow let it mellow" train of thought.... That bucket of water is going towards one fill up of the back of the tank after a flush.... pretty neat. pretty simple.

So... what about May?

I'm getting a brick. For the toilet. Knowing full well that the landlord would never go for a better toilet... I'm putting a brick in the tank to decrease the volume that it holds... in my experimenting with the bucket, I noticed that the bowl was flushed fully after 2/3 of the water had gone thru.... that's 1/3 a tank of wasted water.
Also...the bike is on the road...

breaking news

so at karaoke I'd always get frustrated with the song "walkin in Memphis" I thought it was a spelling error when the line "walkin' with my feet ten feet off the Beale" came up... "what the frig was a Beale?"
Thanks to this week's Couch Surfing Video, I now now that a Beale.. is not "A Beale" but rather..."The Beale".

It's a street.
Thank you once again Couch Surfers.
side note:: the title "war on them" doesn't refer to starting a war... it's more on fighting the reoccuring theme out there of it being an "us vs. them" sort of world... it's a fight against the idea of "them"

oh, by the way, I've got a new surfer coming next week. I think I may start Scrap booking my surfers... 3 in one year is awesome for a random town like the 'Burg. Anyone else out there getting any visitors?

bubbley

So while the worms were drowning in my driveway yesterday morning, I dragged myself to my car... with the intent to drag myself to work....

Never before in my life I had a flat tire... So last week when my tire got a little soft and I actually had to go put air in it, I was a little nervous! One week later I was putting more air in it! horrible. And I don't want to buy a tire. (my new mantra)

SO, back to the drowning worms.

I walked to my car and the first thing I note:: my tire is not flat.
Thank you God!
I walk a little closer and the next thing I note:: there is hissing.
The rain drowning the worms is now pointing my ears to my tire... the rain drowning the worms is all over my tire....
The rain drowning the worms is now bubbling and hissing.... at a giant nail stuck in my tire.
sigh.

It's ok... my mantra helped... it got patched last night.