resolutions

it's that time to start thinking about the coming year...

I generally make my year's resolutions on my birthday- as a matter of not wanting to fail, or not wanting others to see me fail. This year I forgot, so I'm in the same boat as everyone else, facing the new year with some new ideas and plans.

so, what are they going to be?

eat foods that are worth the calories. and enjoy them without guilt
play more music
write more music
play more of my music
find joy in all things
grow confidence, care less about what others think
blog
be more honest with myself and others
have more face to face time with people
pace myself.

sigh

I'm not going to pretend I'm not disappointed.
Thanks to the wonders of facebook and it's uncanny ability to show me conversations I'm not interested in, and link the people I know... I know that I'm not likely in the show...

Two casted members talking an hour ago online -Practical reasoning says:that was at least an hour ago, and you didn't get a call yet, and the two that you know are cast are cast in a configuration that doesn't leave room for a role for you.

Next time I'll take it more lightly when the director says "my dream cast would include you, x, y, and z"

only "y" has a role.


unless my phone is broken.

Drawing near....

What's that under the tree? Miss Jelly, her toys, some cookie tins waiting to be filled, 2 ukes and the autoharp. Pretty much picture perfect if you ask me.

really?

I have no problem with hipsters. Heck, I think I try to be one. It's a funny thing.
"Evolution of a Hipster" kills me.
The generalities are great for a laugh. I heard a GREAT comedy podcast on the weekend using every stereotype about hipsters, the whole show was about a university radio station that only played songs so obscure no one had ever heard them before. I laughed HARD.

Anyway, last night I had an audition (more on that later) and there was a young girl there... she was dressed like she'd been cast for a role in an 80's music video... but then again, I came in pig-tails and graphic tee (the audition was for the role of an 8 year old).
I chatted with her a bit since she was new and didn't know anyone... but it was all I could do to keep a straight face when I asked her what her audition piece was. Her reply? "Oh, it's a song from the 90's, 'Blue Hair' you've never heard of it, it's my favourite and it's really obscure"
amazing

oh say

so, I spent the afternoon in the studio the other day...

and now if you listen carefully, you might catch me singing some commercials on the radio.
ha!

Hard frost

I'm waiting.
For the frost to come and take away allergies.

guh.

Today I cut the party dress and put the beds to bed.

The gardening season is drawing to a close... Slowly we're finishing up with clients, each garden bed prepped for the long winter ahead. There's nothing there that makes me more sad than to cut down a plant that is still in bloom. Last week out at one of my favourite gardens, a giant anemone plant ("party dress" huge frilly pink and white blossoms) was in it's glory days. Thankfully, it was granted pardon- and this morning with just a few faded blooms left, I took 'er down.

I can't wait to start planning my gardens this winter.

I know one thing for sure.

There won't be any roses.

train time!

yup.
packed up, headed out the door to OCFF!
www.ocff.ca
4 days and nights of music and conferencing- with festival organizers and those who want to play at our festivals.

sweeeeeeet.
packing two Ukuleles... I've heard rumor there's a little Uke get-together tonight that Hal's running!


who are we kidding? I'll just sing along.
*grin*

this old house.

I really like old maps.... what I really love about this one is that my house is in it... hand drawn sometime between 1860 and 1869. LOVE this.



And here's my edited version... marking where I've lived for the past 7 years.... the crazy landlord's house was old enough to make it on the map... it was built 20 years later... but the tiny house on Ball St was there- along with it's twins (2 more identical houses on the street). The only sad realization.... it wasn't that the 'Burg had city planners with a sense of humour putting my intersection together... the corner of James Bond existed well before the movies....

Monday Bunday

back, after far too long....



'Touf's behind bars while some yard work goes on :(

You don't get it.

So, most of my peers (in the day to day) just tolerate my day to day oddities.
When I came to work glowing and blubbering excitedly about hanging out with one of my uke heros- they patiently waited till I got the stories out of my system before mocking me. (isn't that nice of them?)
I'm not sure how they're going to take all the details of my epic journey to Napanee for the scarecrow festival...

I remind them daily that I'm hired for my entertainment purposes and not my gardening skills.

ha.
Last week one of my coworkers replied "just don't let the clients know".

Miss Jelly is glad I'm back - now I can serenade her with her favourite song. (played here by lovely Rachel)

found dew drop 3

::recovered from Digital Dewdrops, a writer's forum of sorts that I was a part of... and which disappeared a while back::

September '06

SVFF

WHAT a weekend. I don't know if I have the strength to put it into paraphrase.
No matter what I write, you won't have even a glimpse of the heart and soul and breath that went into this weekend. You'll NEVER grasp the enormity of what we just were a part of, the joy we had, or feel the pain and the heartbreak of it. And because of that, I don't want to write anything.
But, I have to.
My head feels like it's going to explode... it's been so long since I've written. And I feel like if I even start to scratch the surface of it... I'll lose it.
My head feels like it's going to explode... I haven't slept much in the in past week. And I feel like if I go to sleep, a real sleep, it'll all be over... and I want it to be just a little longer, I want that time to last a few more moments.
My head feels like it's going to explode... and my muscles are paining me, throbbing. waiting for that next chore crying to be completed.
My head feels like it's going to explode... I've watched death and rebirth of an even, and seen generations of history happening. I haven't even understood all that's gone on around me.
And my head feels like it's going to explode... I need water, but I've seen and sat in enough to be quenched for weeks.

361 days till Shelter Valley.

** this post was written the day after the 2006 festival. Hurricane Ernesto came along and robbed us of the beautiful weather we'd hoped for. The festival was shut down for the evening on Saturday, and the gates reopened Sunday morning, a small cue of people ushered in by a piper and clapping volunteers. I sobbed.
As for the generations of history- Nathan Rogers (son of the late great Stan Rogers) played this year's fest- his work, and his father's works were blended together in just the most beautiful way. I don't think I can capture the emotions surrounding the final concert....

surf's up

I love hosting couch surfers.... you never know who's going to show up.



I've been really lucky over the past 4 years, I have had all amazing surfers, passionate people, with maybe only one that I wouldn't host again... This group was my largest. In my profile, I state that I'll take up to three people- but this group sounded like they'd be fun, and really, you have to go with your gut while reading the requests. Plus, the girl who contacted me had more couch surfing experience than anyone I've ever encountered before and had incredible references. Imagine my surprise when these bikes pulled up to the house last month.... double-deckers, riding around the lake.... amazing.

Last week I had the sweetest couple (from France originally, now living in Montreal) biking from Niagara Falls to Montreal... I really liked the contrast this couple made with last month's crew. While the energy and excitement of the younger group was great, and their enthusiasm pulled me along... it was nice to have a mature couple come, to have time for conversation, and to not have a mess to clean up afterwards!

photo diary (or) how to end up with too many vegetables

Once upon a time there was a girl with a little too much time on her hands.... um. ok, that part is a lie.
Once upon a time there was a girl who was really really good at starting projects, not so good on the follow thru, and who was a little over-extended. She liked starting seeds.... so she did. Until eventually her sun porch was filled with seedlings (and with pieces of the kitchen that still needed to be installed)


One day, a kind neighbour made the mistake of letting her into his yard.

For some time, she planted and tended.... planted and tended...

... until things began to grow.... out of control. weeds, heat,rain.

... eventually, mother nature was kind to the poor wanna-be-urban-farmer, and the garden began to pay off.... in truckloads.

.... now her only problem is what the hell to do with all the fruit flies.

The end.

blue sky days

I haven't cut the lawn since pre-festival.

needless to say, it's getting to be like a hay field.

'Touff is happy about it. Fynn is annoyed with it. It towers over Fynn... he spends all his time pushing at it, hoping it'll move out of his way. Jelly steps over it gingerly.

I need two things to happen. I need the sun to shine, and I need to find a mower to borrow.

**photo from the ratpack camping trip. good times had by all, even by Miss Jelly... once I figured out she needed to be wrapped like a burrito at night to beat the cold.

to fill in the gaps

I just got a little message back from lovely Brian MacMillan... the actual lyrics are::


the house is creaky, the trees they moan
cold cuts so deeply it autographs my bones
turn up the TV, turn off the phone...
this is the longest winter...



*shiver*

lines

Sometimes there will be a line in a song that resonates so deeply within me... that time stops for a second, and I don't dare breathe.

I heard a great one last night- At a lovely little house concert played by Brian MacMillan. His voice is lovely and smooth- no wonder he was asked to do a show just reading (though... from a Harlequin romance novel? um... iffy.) I had to pinch myself to wakefulness a few times, his lullabies were that effective.

"a cold that cuts so deep it autographs your bones"

two towers.

The line was "we'll be brothers forever from now on"
and I fell apart.

It's amazing the things I think I've detached myself from, become desensitized to- but discover, in one breath that I'm forever changed.
I'm thankful that some things will always be too heavy for my heart.

*sitting at work this morning, Discovery Channel aired a show that followed the survivor stories of three people from the world trade center bombings. I'm downstairs typing in the office while it finishes. I just couldn't stop crying.

found dew drop 2

:: recovered from digital dew drops, a writer's forum of sorts that I used to belong to::
October '06

fall seems to be a time of reflection. or at the very least, fall seems to bring reflection to me.
everything around me causes me to pause and look again.
the colours standing against the graying sky, the geese drifting to halt on fields bare of their crops. blankets of fog.
not just blankets,
heavy down comforters of fog, enveloping me.
this morning I drove up to peterborough, and the fog was whisping and swirling around.
I had a 15-20 foot envelope of visibility to work in most of the time, like a large parachute of vision.. pulled tight to the ground.
sometimes the chute was lifted and I could see a little farther, and sometimes for the briefest of moment, the air left the chute and fell to the ground as I hit a thick wall of mist, seeing nothing be the hood of my car.
at one point a single sun beam broke thru the clouds above, and I saw for the first time a rainbow inside the mist.
it was amazing.
it flickered like a candle, wept across the trees beside me and then lit them on fire with colour.
orange became ORANGE
reds became RED
and the green dripped with the deepest hues I'd ever seen.
amazing.


**after I moved back to the Burg from Peterborough, I still drove to the city a few times a week for a band I was a part of, and to visit friends. It takes time to let go of one community and move on to a new one.

a gift for a friend

Dancing all around

tiny heads bobbing in a roar that covers my ears

steals my voice

blinds my eyes

whips my skirt

we can't help but race

and fall exhausted onto the warm earth, cool grass

purple waves in the fields

she brings song and scents and floods me with memories

eyes closed

warm face

toes exposed

letting the pace fall away

letting the days fall away

content

** this summer we made a special gift for the hobbit's birthday- this was my little contribution. you should see how the finished product turned out!

The picture is from the top of the lavender farm (aka SVFF's home) in June. The day was sunny, the wind high. The grass in the field below swung in waves... I didn't want to pick weeds, I just wanted to sit and take it all in. or run... down the hill, and fall into the grass.
It was also the day I got poison ivy for the first time.
Now, I've gotten poison ivy in the past- but only in tiny amounts. A dot here or there, often just one between my fingers or toes... this ended up being several inches long on the side of my leg. I've never been so itchy in my life. Eventually it started to fade... and I got it a second time... much much much worse. My ankle swelled, it oozed, it crusted, it hurt, it ITCHED. deep down itch. Painful itch.

Today in the garden I had to pick some poison ivy... I've never been so worried about three little leaves in my entire life.

found dew drop

:: recovered from the dew drop files- June '08::

I miss the rhythm of childhood.
The way each step followed the next.
The creak of the floorboards as mom came to the door.
Dad's nose honking in the shower.
Coffee grinder whizzing.
I miss the hope of summer in the smell of the flowers,
the push of the air,
the ants on their hills.
Climbing to the top of the dirt pile,
the flapping of the tissue kite.
Sliding down into the ravine,
sand in my shoes,
clay under my nails.


* I remember each summer we'd get a load of top soil for the garden. Piled at the top of the driveway, Little Bits (my sister) and I would play "mud men" rolling down the dirt pile, and jumping under the hose to clean off.
When we moved to the Port, a town of many hills, we had a ravine on each side of our subdivision- some days we'd head down to the ravine to the south- lunches packed, and get lost for the day in the woods (um... we weren't really lost). Other days we'd head to the "sand pit" to the North, and dig clay from the stream ... building ash trays for parents who didn't smoke, and digging into the sandy cliffs.

1 2 3 4

So, I was feeling badly about having two years in a row where I hardly blogged a thing.
Then I remembered I was doing it for me, not for anyone reading this.

And then I also remembered, there's still 99 days left of this year.

smooth... and spicey.

I'm back to playing puzzle pirates.
yup.

I'm that awesome.

Some big things happened today... firstly, it was sweet Leonard's birthday.

Even my daily poetry book made note of it. Which, mostly just made me smile.

(It was also Yodling Ronnie's birthday. They're the same age)

Secondly, Salsa day.

Not the dance, the day of chopping.

Sure, they look pretty... but when you multiply a recipe by 4... that's a hell of a lot of peppers. and tomatoes. and onions. and garlic. I wasn't there for the full day of chopping- too many other commitments, but my back is happy the day is over. In all, 30 jars of salsa- 7 of them 1L jars, the rest 500ml.... Also cooked up a triple batch of chili sauce, and a quadrupled batch of Salsa Verde, and a pile of ketchup and regular old tomato sauce.

whew!

Also today- a visit to the dentist who confirmed what I suspected- I damaged my top teeth in the time I was waiting for my night guard... I took up clenching my teeth/grinding in the night over the summer. The stress level is back down- but now my body is in the habit of clenching/grinding. I'll be wearing that super sexy night guard for awhile.

And finally, a night of NUkeO. We're looking at making the jam happen earlier in the day- due to so many conflicts with people's schedules. We had someone show up tonight that I didn't think would show- a lovely woman from GTI. She'd never played before, but teaches piano and has a great ear for music. I don' think we scared her off. I was so thankful for the leveling factor of the jam. The way that it didn't matter where people had come from, all that mattered was that they were there and that they were giving it a try.

so beautiful.

wake up.

some favourite things (within reach):
napping
pooch
uke
couch
secondhand blankets
sunshine

dream dream dream

Sleep has finally come back to me.
I've now had two nights in a row where I haven't budged after laying my head down. Two nights of my old friend, vivid dreams. A whole adventure in another world. A whole lifetime. Dreams amaze me.
Last night I was back to my traveling ways- I'd been having a series of dreams earlier this year where I would get on a plane and end up in all sorts of places. Most of the dreams dealt with the frustrations of traveling- lost luggage, delays, missed connections. Frustrations yes, but... I know when I'm dreaming, so I'm along for the ride- or I'm directing the show, so I love every piece of it.
I can't get over how my brain creates detail. Fills in colour, texture, sound and even smells.
Last night's dream had me flying from Togo to home, via West Jet.... with Pontouff in a carry-cage... 'Touff turned into Jellybean by the time we landed, but... whatever. It was a bad flight, at one point we dropped, and the tail dropped faster till we were pointed upwards, but still dropping... the weather was terrible, the pilots did a great job, but eventually we landed in St.Kitts... or some Caribbean place. But suddenly we were in a pontoon plane- and we'd landed in the water, and had to jump from dock to dock to get to land- the island didn't have phone service, and we had to figure out how to contact our families. We were given vouchers for a hotel in an underground mall.. The dream went on forever. I met other travellers, we explored the underground mall (it had a giant fun house in it), Jelly and a security bull dog got in a fight (big surprise) but they turned into rabbits when I broke up the fight (of course). If I were to write out everything that happened... and the detail that went with it- it would be so long.. so much longer than this ramble.

Anyway. I'm happy the dream world is back. It was a long summer without them.

re: the title.
*I'm still grinning*
James Hill showed up at a party I was at this weekend. At some point a bit of a Uke jam broke out in the living room. I sat in.
Now, mostly I just hugged my uke. I was a little intimidated, though, not by James, the guy is really humble, really encouraging. There was some pretty crazy talent in the room. I'm very blessed. Like... really blessed. Sometimes (and not just that night) I look around the room, see what's happening, and feel like my heart is going to jump out of me from the joy. It's a good life.
I sang harmonies instead of playing. yup. sang harmonies to James' tunes and the others' tunes.
It's a good life.



(click photo for a lovely little piece by James)

not so lost

I have 7 blogs listed on my blogrole.
several of them are listed as private.

I learned my lesson after some censorship at work- it doesn't matter which work, just ... at a job. A higher-up person came to me and wasn't happy with something I'd written.

Apparently, there was talk at work about what I'd written, and it had made some people upset. So I removed what I wrote- though there was nothing that pointed to the organization, or the people involved.

So I stated another blog where I could actually write what I was thinking about things.
ha.

At one point in my life I was part of this fantastic little writer's forum... an experiment.. I loved the challenge it offered, and when it (the blog) disappeared last year, I was quite sad. Today I discovered that I can go back and read the posts... that they haven't been lost to the interwebs, they've just been sitting quietly, waiting to be rediscovered.
I'm going to try to rescue a few of my old posts.

*grin*

a sometimes joke.

I know I joke about it a lot... but really...
I want to be your backup singer.

sheesh.

another year....

Well, I'm winning the fight over the post-fest cold and blues.
It was a great weekend in all- some of the BEST music to date. And the workshops that ran were all really well attended. We joke about people converting to the cult of SVFF... but it's true, the community wins people over.

Here are a few review/links

http://andthehitsjustkeeponcomin.blogspot.com/2010/09/shelter-valley-folk-festival-2010-we.html

http://http://www.facebook.com/Elbowmarie#!/video/video.php?v=465499515378&ref=mf

http://www.facebook.com/Elbowmarie#!/album.php?aid=527737&id=695855383&ref=mf

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sheltervalley

too lazy to embed them in something pretty today.

Last year I felt like I was too busy and missed the festival. This year I was busier, but calmer- I felt like I knew what I was doing, and knew (somewhat) what to expect. The difference in attitude made a huge difference. I even went into it knowing full well of my tendency to control every piece- and fighting my urges... allowed things to unfold.
My internal dialogue chanted "in a hundred years, it's not going to matter- people won't notice if all the paint brushes weren't in matching containers, or that the workshop speaker didn't do x, y,z... all that will remain is a blip on wikipedia (if that still exists). An entry that will read "Shelter Valley Folk Festival was (is) an incredible space, a leader in the push for community, arts and fine music."
That little pep talk changed everything.
Even when the weather got so bad, so dangerous, that we had to close down the villages.

villageS.

all of them.

sigh.

I'm sad about that. Sad that all the hard work from the past year was just shelved. And there really wasn't anything we could do about it. One of our artists lost $2000 in pottery to a gust of wind that knocked over one of her shelving units. The stage in the family village got knocked down in the wind, the tents started to come apart... making the whole space unsafe. We closed that area down for a few hours, then ran partial programming outside the gate in the main field... children hula hooping to the main stage music.. it was beautiful with the clouds racing above them.... The main village tents had to be torn down- after searching the county for extra re-bar and rope- it wasn't enough. The tents couldn't take the strain of the wind. So we made the decision to take them down, rather than lose them or risk injury.

This year I feel like I've grown into the role better- I made decisions and asked people to support me in them.. rather than stand there helplessly as things happened around me. So I feel really good about that. I'm just waiting for the sadness... grieving? to pass.

putting up..

At the market on Saturday morning, I noticed that the orchard had brought along pears for sale. Know what that means?


My mouth is very excited to start canning.

Now, maybe this falls in the too much information category, but... While I was in the shower this morning, I decided to give a new razor a try. I'm the gal that buys the cheapy razors. None of the crazy fancy stuff, no way! Why would I want three blades when OBVIOUSLY one works just fine on it's own?

In my cheapy package last month, I found a free promotional giant 3 bladed pretty razor. I laughed when I found it and chucked it into the toiletries bin. It was overly girly, had a girly name on it... was CONTOURED to fit my hand, and looked shockingly like a woman's body. But today I gave it a try.

I'm in love.

I want to go rub my smooth as silk legs on every person I pass.

frightening.

Pooch

I bring the pooch to work with me.

While she's got a bit of a reputation (story another day) to overcome, she's done really well being in the group home. Her favourite thing to do (when not hoovering the food off the floor, or following me around) is to fall asleep on the couch next to one of the men while they watch tv. She was born to hang out in a group home with these guys. Patently sitting at their feet while they bark "SIT" at her.
You can watch her roll her eyes- as if to say "oh goodnight! I'm already sitting!"

Unfortunately, Miss Jelly is afraid of storms. Thank God she's hearing impaired, (I think. or maybe just really slow) she misses most storms if there's enough other noise. Tonight however was one of those storms you just don't want to go out in... LOUD. Power outages. Flashing. Jelly flew off the couch and started shaking.

As I was going to be doing a double shift - my plan had been to take her home (did I mention the hobbit house is FOUR houses away? mind you, four very large houses away and around the corner) feed her, feed the buns, grab my overnight bag- as I'm still being paid to sleep here- and head back to the group home... leaving dear Jellster at home.
And then... the rain came.
A LOT of rain came.
But, time being what it was, I dragged trembling Jelly into the downpour, and started to hightail it home... holding a lightning rod, we dodged death and puddles.
We made it, but I was praying the whole way home- and we were both drenched to the skin.

Now usually, when a storm hits, Miss Jelly can be found with her head in the corner between the fridge and the wall, panting and shaking... but tonight it was just too much for her. She ran in the house...
and jumped into the bathtub.

she was still there when I left the house.

poor pooch.


In garden news, the ground cherries are ripe and tasty.
no, I'm not sharing.

wake up slow

angry robot L.Bo is gone.
in her place is (nearly) the old me.
the one that cries thru movies, the one who feels deeply.
now, I just have to buckle down and figure out what's next.

22 sleeps?

the garden is growing...

Just a few short sleeps till the festival.
In some ways, I'm SO ready.

in other ways, I keep hoping someone will come up to me, put their arms around my shoulders and say "it's ok, I'm here to take it over".

We've had three workshops fall apart this week- it's not the end of the world, I'd aimed really high for our numbers- I'd wanted to run programming in all the villages the entire day (one workshop each hour per village) That would put us at double the workshops from previous years... with the newly fallen programming, and the others that didn't pan out- I think we're short 2 in each village... um.. except in Wellness, I think we're close to target there.. weird.

I've fallen into that strange "non-work" pattern that I always fall into when the stress gets high- I sit. and little gets done.
It's frustrating.
then there are all the things I want to do, and it's like they're paralyzing me from the other things. my brain wants me to do just one thing each day... not practical at this point in the game.
sheesh.

...

dear hot tub:

I had a really really great weekend catching up with old friends, spending hours singing in my car, remembering how bad it sucked to be a poor student. I loved every minute of baby squishing and seeing forgotten faces....
but I really really really really missed you.
and Jelly
and the Buns.

xo

count down to something

somehow, festival season has snuck up on me.
I feel much more prepared than I did last year, not nearly so frightened. Maybe it's because I'm letting myself spend time thinking about other things. Letting myself get caught up in life. In possibilities.

I'm loving the garden.
I'm loving seeing things grow from these tiny seeds into something I can use, something wonderful.

The heat makes staying on task difficult. It would be fine if it were just hot... but swimming the humid air drowns me.

wishful.

biding time

"people in our lives that we can't say the things we want to say to."
drives me crazy.
and yet.
I still do it.

do you?

as IF!

So, I realized that a month and a half has passed, and I didn't even mention on here....


Miss Jellybean. 8yrs old, new addition to the hobbit home!

too funny. How'd I forget to post her?

'Touff and Fynn could care less about her. They take a look, then roll over and go back to sleep.. Miss. Bean however... wants to eat 'Touff... not so much Fynn.
So for now, we're taking turns playing in the yard. It works for us!

jot it

I've got a jot book (well.. many) that I've been turning to for the past year or so... and three weeks ago I lost it.

which, made me crazy

I didn't realize how much I'd come to rely on it...

Last night, I changed the sheets on the bed, and discovered that at some point I must have fallen asleep with the book- it had fallen between the box spring and the headboard... silly.

if I could wake up every morning and still smell like campfire
my hair
my clothes
having tumbled into bed too sleepy to change
dust on my feet
marshmallow on my cheek
sore strumming fingers...
that would be the mark of a life well lived.

Uker Night

Hi friends,

Days are marching along, how about you kick back and relax with us this coming Tuesday (3rd Tuesday of the month) to strum and sing?

We've a number of people on our mailing list who aren't able to join us each month (or ever, due to distance!) I'm going to try to remember to start posting copies of the songs we've been messing around with on the facebook group so you can find them. (Northumberland Ukulele Orchestra

If you're new to the mailing list and haven't been able to come check us out, or are feeling a little nervous, don't fret pet! Pick up your uke and come learn along with us! Our biggest goal with this group is to make music accessible and FUN. Any skill level is welcome, we'll team up with you to help you along in the sticky parts.

How we run the night: We aim to start at 7pm, but if you're hungry, or just too excited to wait for 7, come early and eat dinner with us. Dinner happens downstairs in the pub, Uking happens upstairs in the front room. We have a song book of sorts, and we go around the circle, either teaching a new song, sharing a song we've been learning, or picking a song from the song book.

Coming events:

Cobourg's busker fest Saturday June 12. Our own Ruth W can be found Uking in the streets

July (date- and rain date- to be announced) Ukey-Q ... A BBQ and campfire with our Ukes (no Ukes will be burned).

August- we'll finally cave in and play downstairs (open mic style and a few from our song book together) in front of non-Ukers... maybe we'll make some converts.

So that's it for now, if you've got a song to share, please bring some extra copies with you next week.see Uke soon!

LMB

hobbits are suppose to be small

one of the charms of the house was this cat door that led to the pantry... I pictured the Bunnies passing in and out of it, free to roam with a safe retreat....

um.what was I thinking? he's nearly the size of the door!

love

I have friends who make me smile.
My heart hurts with the joy they bring me.

I wish that I had words.

the first of many

Today my new life with just one job starts.
the sun has been shining.
plants have been dug.
watered.
ukuleles have been played.
bunnies have been kissed.
seeds have been purchased.
neighbours welcomed.
old friends chatted with.

and it's just past noon.

count down to something

it feels good to be muddy.
digging in the warm dirt.. dirt warmer than the air.

I'm peddling as fast as I can, and I'm not keeping up. I can make it the last 5 days.

Yesterday I came home to an empty house, with no where I needed to be for 17 hours. I dropped my bags outside the door, took off my shoes and picked up my shovel.
I hunkered down in the garden for the next couple of hours. I dug a new flower bed for tall privacy plants (from seed) this year- next year a hedge will go in the back of it to screen out Mr."I'm BBQing STEAKS TONIGHT!".

The dirt worked it's way under my nails- on my toes and my hands. I scraped rocks, I moved hidden treasures (I think I found the hulk's arm and gi joe's head) and chatted with the kind neighbour next door. I worked till I hurt.

And it felt good.

post secret

This week's postsecret postcards were hard to read.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm failing her for not commemorating her in the ways that others do for their own.

seasons

I posted this to my facebook page today...

there are lots of changes going on, the rumor mill talks fast, so you've likely heard that I quit my day job- this is just one step in a series of things that I need to do for myself this year.

I'm cutting back, the cell phone will be gone (for real this time) by the end of the month. The tv is gathering dust. I've dropped some extra activities. I'm going to focus on some things that I need to focus on.

I've just cut the feed from my blog to facebook- I'm hoping to write more without the pressure of many people reading (if it's out of sight, it's out of mind). I'm going to go for walks, I'm going to take naps, I'm going to catch up with friends, I'm going to dig in the dirt, I'm going to find joy in the things around me.
I'm pretty pumped.

Best life ever.

block head

When I make a plan, I procrastinate to the end, but I finish it.
That's what I do.
Most of the time.
Or, When I make a plan, I go whole hog and burn out along the way, and give up hope that it'll ever happen. (That's the messy one)

Those are my patterns. I recognize them, and I try to work around them.

BUT.
I'm happy to say that I've broken that trend and finished something that I'm pretty darn proud of. I quit my job on Friday.

I reached my goal (the hobbit house), and now there's no need to live the life of a workaholic.

Some people are surprised when I say I've left my unionized Monday to Friday position in favour of working at the group home- but when you get down to the math of it, and what makes my heart happy- I've made the right choice for me.

After today, 7 more shifts at the day program- my last 12 day stretch.
I did what I set out to do, created some independence for myself with the Hobbit House- now I'm going to enjoy a job well done.

What are you going to do with your time?

HA!

strong hobbitses

Strangely enough, a fence that took me two days to take down, took me only 3 hours to put back up again...
The house is looking like my house.
The yard is turning into my yard.
I'm feeling a real sense of accomplishment.
it's good.
Taking some advil tonight will also be good.

today:
pulled the last fence post out of the ground at the front of the house
moved the hot tub into the yard
put the fence posts back in
rebuilt the fence
planted onions/ created 2 new gardens
drank some beer
visited some friends
chased a rabbit
dug weeds
met some neighbours.

next I'm going to sit in that tiny hobbit bathtub and try to soak off some dirt- the hot tub won't be hooked up for a few more weeks.

oh, and I quit my job.

*grin*

Sweeeeeeeeeeeneeeeeeey Todd

Last night's Dress went pretty well... well, we missed a few things, but now we won't... that's the point of dress- to scare you crapless for the night and emblazon it in your mind so you don't screw it up again.

Here's a quick link to our first article!

more press to follow!

Canada's next top Lame-o

yup, this confirms it.

I'm the LAMEST person I know.

Tonight was one of those lovely nights, pulling me out of a funk that's taken over the past few days. Brisk air, sun shining down, dinner with dear friends, and a concert.

Not just any concert.

The lovely Martyn Joseph was in town.

I love this guy's music. It's from just the right spot.

here... have a video. (ok two).

So, I've had the privilege of seeing him in concert several times. The first time was out at the gallery- in the middle of '08's worst snowstorm. This summer he played at the festival- and I ran into him around the campfire a few times- he played my Uke (and put me to shame).

so of course, what's the first thing I say to him when I see him at the show tonight? (let's preface this with- I've just been greeted with "oh! hello beauty") (that would be Martyn's version of knowing he knows me from somewhere) (I'll take it)

yes, of course, I embarrass myself by saying "so, did you pick up a ukulele for yourself when you got home?"

and then... further it later with....

Singing harmonies as loud as I can- like I'm lost in church... and then he wanders out into the audience with his guitar and sits down beside me... I forget the words and stop singing.

yup.

ok.

awesome.

I think I'll go to sleep now.

back in the day

I've just spent the past few days pouring over old emails and pictures from Togo.

I miss Africa.

wishfull.

I keep watching this over and over....

and maybe I'm not watching, maybe I'm sitting with my eyes closed, even though it's very pretty.

walk a mile in those shoes.

work
walk
meeting
work.


I just took off my shoes... eeeewwwwwww.
Which made me think...

When I worked with Watoto, we had mornings that started around 6am, by the time we climbed into bed at night and took off our shoes 18 hours later... it was painfully stinky in our room (not just from me!) One of my girls took to calling me "stink wooman" (say it with a Ugandan child's accent)

I miss my kids too too much this week.

new year, new things

well.. the month is done.

and I think I'm ready to stop and take a breath.

drink some tea.

visit with people I love.

stop trying to "finish".

read a book.

play with some bunnies.

plan the gardens.

listen.

it's gong to be a great year.