Things

Yup, I'm sad.
Yes, she was just a dog... I'm not heart broken, I'm not lost. I'm just sad that my friend is gone.

Lonely.
This house is too quiet without the snoring.snorting.farting.huffing.toenail clicking.foot licking.

But thankfully there has been lots to do to keep me busy, While going right from the vet's to work wasn't the greatest idea I've ever had- keeping moving has been a good thing.

Today was a marathon work day that gave me flash backs to the time before I bought my house- remember that time I had two full time jobs? "Marathon Wednesdays" It felt a little like that.... on a Tuesday. Running from one place to the next. I'm ready for bed.

It won't always be like this, I just had to throw a few extra hours in at the group home early this morning before starting (the first day) at the Paint Shop. I breathed a sigh of relief halfway through the day realizing that I didn't have to be home to let the dog out... then fought guilt for the rest of the day for feeling that relief...
It won't always be like that either.

Oh babydog

I had to say goodbye to a dear friend yesterday.  Jellybean, Jelly, Jellydog, Babydog, Stinkerboxer, Stinks, Girlie, Pooch, Poocher, Puppers, Lill'dog, Ratnick, Beaner, Jellybelly...

Miracles on Bond Street.

Two miracles to report on Bond St this morning.

The first is Miss Jellydog... last night WE WENT FOR A WALK. Yes, the dog who has been sleeping for the past 3 weeks got up and went for a walk... then ate all her food without me needing to use the rabbit to taunt her (her food guarding instinct is so strong, she's only been eating when she thinks the rabbit is going to steal her dinner).  THEN, she started playing with a stuffed animal, and when she'd had enough of that, she chewed on a bone and begged to get on the couch. She hasn't played in weeks. She's barely acknowledged I exist for weeks.
I've nearly put her down on 4 different occasions since Christmas. She's had good days that have stopped me- days where she'd get up and go outside and sniff around a bit.. and bad days where I'd clear my calendar for the next morning's trip to the vet after carrying her outside to do her business and lifting her back into her bed.
Last night I even had to chase her out of the rabbit's litter box twice!

The second miracle is that Basement floor... it actually looks clean. It's the first time I've wished I did a before and after picture... the first time I didn't go into the basement and sigh because I was overwhelmed. The floor is dry after yesterday's washing, and now it's filled with all sorts of stories... splashes of paint, circles from cans, patches of rust, weird scratches and pock marks.

I love this old house.

Hitch in my stride

I woke up on Tuesday morning and nearly rolled head over arse down the stairs from the loft... all 16 of them...  I counted them as I clung for my life on the bannister.

It was like my leg/butt muscles weren't talking to my brain.
My hip wanted to send my leg in one direction, and the tendons would say "heck no".

Sitting for hours in a car and then sprinting across the field in snowshoes was a poor choice.

Self note: yoga or stretching after such a trip is a good idea.


The next day I tried to give myself a heart attack by trying to snowshoe up the biggest hill in all of Grey County. Rae was a good sport and joined me. I think she was hoping I'd fall down dead so she could use me as a toboggan to get to the bottom of the hill... It nearly happened.

Self note 2: Go on these snowshoe trips solo so you can take many breaks and not feel the need to take on the world.

It's a day after the ride home, snowshoe muscles are fine.. but my butt is still beat from the long ride home.

Self note 3: The GPS knows short cuts. Take them. Also, learn to pack less stuff so there's more room in the car.

Miss Jellybean didn't take up too too much space in the car- and she made a really great lap warmer if you didn't mind that your legs would fall asleep from the weight of her.

More

It's still tiny snowflaking out there.
Therefore, I'm still in my Pjs.

So much for that hockey game. Oops.

The dog is snoring in her bed.
Thankfully.

She died 3 times on Christmas Eve.

Just stopped breathing.

I was sad... but relieved for her. Then she sputtered back to life.... half an hour later I was sad.... but relieved for her. Then she sputtered back to life. Forty five minutes later I was sad... but relieved for her. Then she sputtered back to life. Then I was tired, drained, and a little annoyed. She may have died again that night, but I fell asleep around 4am.

She's been super peppy since then. Running into all the chairs.walls.tables.couches.

sheesh..

So proud of myself and Badbunny.ca .. feeling like I'm getting back in control of things... annnnnnnd then....

First the rabbit has a bout of the runs, lots of scrubbing the floor and some serious pinning down of the bunny to get him cleaned up (honestly, how does he grow the giant dreadlocks on his butt?)

And then.... Miss. Jelly.

Finally paid off the vet bills from last month's eyeball injuries....

And now she's pawing away at her face after a full force run into the door frame/wall.

How? She needs momentum to get up the two back steps, so she runs open throttle .. except the eyesight isn't what it used to be... and she misjudged by at least 4 inches tonight. The clanging noise and watching her roll back down the stairs was almost too much for me. Thank goodness the vet gave us double the usual amount of meds after her last injury.

stumbling

Inspired by my friend BethSheff, I'm taking on the basement... I went down there this morning armed with a recycling bag, a box for garbage and a few boxes for the local second hand store.

I didn't come back up for hours.

And when I did... things were worse than when I started.
The house is... um.... *sigh*

Let's just say that if my mother wasn't already dead, she'd have had a heart attack and died from the piles of random things. I've mentioned before how I'm an "Outie" organizer raised by "Innie" parents, right?  Their version of storage was "everything has a place, and everything in it's place".... my version is "I know which pile it's in".

I'm slowly learning that neither method is right... it's ok to be either way... there are good sides to each of the systems... it's the Catholic guilt that I deal with for having things in sight that really does me in....

Anyway... I've emptied more than half the boxes (those which were never unpacked after the move) into garbage/recycle/reuse piles... the things I've found!!! Seriously. AMAZING.

I've found a smoke detector... the one that started beeping 4 months ago.
My Social Security card... I didn't know it was missing!
Countless bottles of shampoo... all half used... weird.
So MANY binders.
(one of them was even my music binder from 1997) (hello "Lifeline" music team!)

Some of the things I've been bringing up and leaving where I'll see them- so I'll deal with them right away... um. except that the dog keeps tripping on them.

I'm not kidding... she fell into a mixing bowl tonight. It comes up to her knees... it's not small. It's in the middle of the floor... um. beside the spinning wheel. um... beside the autoharp.

On monday she ran into a wall. She didn't cut her eye this time... but she did bruise it... I think she's lost most of her vision now in the left eye.

Hence falling INTO the mixing bowl.

I borrowed these snazzy Doggles to help protect her eyes... except her head is too big for them... Bubble wrap is the next option.

Record Breaking Speed

My dog is getting older by the second.


Our walk around the block usually takes us about 10 minutes. Yesterday afternoon we made it in 25 minutes.. that's right... 25 minutes. And I pulled on her for a good portion of that time!

Her eyesight has gotten so bad that she can't see things at her feet... so she trips, or she tries to jump over things. Things like shadows. Which... is really funny.
Her newest thing is walking with her nose on the ground, so she can see where she's going.... except then she smells EVERYTHING and has to stop every few feet to check it out.

At one point I nearly picked her up to carry her home- I could see the house.
But then she jumped over a leaf and I decided it was totally worth the walk.


update: having just related this story to Jen, she suggests I get a vest and be Jelly's "seeing eye person".
I wonder if it would mean she could go into stores with me?

eureka (or) Jelly on the floor

I hadn't been to a NukeO jam since before Christmas because of my work schedule, so I decided to play hooky from a meeting that was happening on my random Tuesday night off... It was lovely to sit and strum with the group... I really do miss it.
Anyway.
I was driving home from NukeO with Bethfield telling her about my dream from Monday night and the strangeness of Jellydog ending up on the floor...

I told her about the two episodes worth of Dr.Who and how that was just a subplot to the real main dream, a play. I was trying to convey just how much detail I remember from my dreams.

"close your eyes, open them, blink them shut... all the detail you just saw? I see every bit of that detail in my dreams, I even remember the colour of people's shorts." Each scene... It's all there.

Then I started to laugh.

I figured out how Jelly ended up on the floor... and why she is so pissed off at me, sitting with her back to me and shying away (more than usual... her bad eyesight makes her flinch at every movement)

I'd been focusing on the time travel portion of the dream.. the subplot.
The dream was actually about a group of people putting on a play in an old gym/ fitness centre.

When I told Bethfield about the colour of people's shorts, I had a flash back to part of the play rehearsal/dream where I was to carry a child from the iron bistro table at the back of the room to the front stage for a musical number with people in painter's outfits. Only, I couldn't get the child to cooperate, so I grabbed a blue blanket and wrapped up this wriggly fawn coloured pug instead.

It was heavy.
and wouldn't stop wiggling.
So I just dumped it on the floor, and worried about my next lines.

I'm so sorry Jelly.
It's a really tall bed.

Meanwhile, Beth has me concerned that I'm now sleepwalking in addition to grinding the hell out of my teeth. She recommends I have a watcher at night.
I wonder if I should be sending some inappropriate txts as invitations.

TARDIS bed.

I'm feeling a little overrun with guilt this morning.
Last night's dreams resulted in enough material for 2 episodes of Dr.Who. Seriously, do dreams need to be this complex? After I helped send that woman back to the victorian age-  having taken over this other girl's mind- why didn't she record what had happened to her so we'd know what to do to help her in the future? And why didn't I study history better?

Guilt.
On waking I discovered that Jellydog wasn't in bed with me.

She was in bed with me when I fell asleep.

So, one of two things happened:

1. I got up in the night and put her down on the ground. I don't remember this. I only remember petting her as I fell asleep.

2. I pushed her out of the bed.




 (oh, did I mention I have to jump to get on my bed? Little pooch can't get up or down on her own, and she won't willingly go near the edge of the bed)

Sorry dog, time travel is dangerous business.

dark

Real spring is back.

Cold and dark.

I've lost all my enthusiasm to get anything done.

How do other people manage to accomplish anything?

I just want to sit around and take pictures of my pets.

It's Bunday Sunday. Spot the bunny?

peck peck

tippa tappa.

I've stayed up too late writing a review of the show I saw on Friday.

I'll post it later (today) after I've got permission to use some photos.

Also, the dog stepped on my face this morning waking me up, I've got a big ol'scratch across my cheek.

Also, the dog is pissed that we haven't gone to bed yet.

speedy

I'm going to have to build a half door to the back room.
Pontouff Pony moved in a week ago, and while I trust the dog not to eat him... I don't trust her not to eat his food, or whatever might be in the litter box.

"Try a baby gate" you say?

20lbs of bunny can still fling himself over the gate.





last bunny post for a bit... honest.

hold still

If that dog wouldn't breathe so much, she'd be a great music stand/ foot stool.

Brunch. 2nd breakfast

I hosted "family brunch" this morning.... I first started to blog this morning before breakfast, but decided that the "it's about to happen" story wasn't as lovely as the "it just happened" story.




While I didn't have any blood family relatives over, I had the next best thing with some of the favourites joining in the pot luck meal. Brunch as a pot luck is likely the best thing ever. You can bring anything and it'll fit. Eggs and jube jubes? why not? Sausages and pie? sure! go ahead! Crumpets and fruit and hashbrowns and cheese balanced the meal out just perfectly.








Much laughter happened at the table, and conversation ranged from festival frustration and celebration, to faith, babies, jobs and literature.

"I brought you a book, you said you needed ideas for things to read"... Bob hands me a ragged coverless binding of pages. Dog eared doesn't even cover it. "It's ok if that one gets beat up a little, I've got another copy at home. But you have to read this one before I lend you the next one."

Once our stomachs were filled, we moved to the living room... instruments were tuned... more laughter... Two ukes, guitar, mando, and an autoharp... a request- Rolling Stone, and then "Fat Bottomed Girls"... A rockabilly Sunday.

pout

My dog has this amazing gift of being able to make me feel terrible.
I'm abandoning her.
I'm starving her.
She's freezing.
She's boiling to death.
I'm starving her.
I'm not paying enough attention.
I'm smothering her.
I'm starving her.
Honestly, she acts like I've never fed her in her life.

Today I left the house to head out for an oil change for my car (so.so.so.so.so.so overdue.) I left a little early as I had to stop at a friend's place to let her dog out... Miss Jelly pouted, I'd only JUST gotten home from work long enough to feed her and let her out. But I knew I'd be back in an hour to play with her..... 6 hours later I got home.
Turns out I needed a new muffler.
Home just long enough to let her out and grab a few Ukuleles before running to NUkeO.
Home from NUkeO (and it's obligations) and off to work again.
Poor dog.
so hard done by. *



(I promise to stop blogging about my dog so much)

*Portrait of a cold pooch in the car on the way home from the cottage

jet outta here.

I'm going to be headed to my dad's place down in Florida in a little less than a month. I'm pretty excited to sit and watch the dolphins while I drink my morning coffee... walk the beach for hours....

While I'm gone TLS will be house sitting the buns and the pooch (and the hot tub)... I'm glad. The pooch doesn't hold too too much disdain for him. In fact, she's even been known to sniff him... and even ignore him knocking at the door (I know! shocker right? the dog who barks at everything that sounds like a door knock). The buns will disapprove of anyone, and so long as they're fed and loved a little, they'll tolerate him.

My worry is not that TLS will lock himself out again and have to climb through the kitchen window, it is as with every trip- that my plane will crash and someone will have to go through all those random boxes in my basement and files in my dresser if I die. That worries me... so it's about this time that I start to go a little crazy purging.

Today I went down to the boxes to take a look at what I was up against... (and it's really not that bad, it's mostly boxes of books waiting for a book shelf - or eight) and I encountered a box of old journals. which of course I started reading. Then, I went back up stairs and started reading old blog posts.

I found one that made me laugh a little, and made me feel a little on edge remembering the woman in the story.

http://parsleyseasonings.blogspot.com/2006/06/shady-corner-of-street.html

However, in a strange turn of events, sketchy has become someone I know thru GTI... it changes everything when you get to know someone a little.

Drawing near....

What's that under the tree? Miss Jelly, her toys, some cookie tins waiting to be filled, 2 ukes and the autoharp. Pretty much picture perfect if you ask me.

blue sky days

I haven't cut the lawn since pre-festival.

needless to say, it's getting to be like a hay field.

'Touff is happy about it. Fynn is annoyed with it. It towers over Fynn... he spends all his time pushing at it, hoping it'll move out of his way. Jelly steps over it gingerly.

I need two things to happen. I need the sun to shine, and I need to find a mower to borrow.

**photo from the ratpack camping trip. good times had by all, even by Miss Jelly... once I figured out she needed to be wrapped like a burrito at night to beat the cold.

wake up.

some favourite things (within reach):
napping
pooch
uke
couch
secondhand blankets
sunshine