secret agent woman part 2

so... I've been continuing with my vandaliziation of the hedges... A little at a time, we're making some space for walkers. Though, it seems I get a little excited and impassioned about my crusade... I had to be talked down last night before a whole bush was brought to ruin.

ok, I know I've written of snails before... I've got snails... Some people have crabs (cough cough.. crilly) (oh wait, no he just has one giant crab) I've got snails. It's spring when the snails show up, it's summer when they crunch underfoot. They find their way up the side of the house, they end up IN the rabbit cage outside, they line the sidewalks... They are EVERYWHERE. Those who live in the tannery area know of the snails, and are vigilant, they swerve on their early morning walks and late evening promenades as the snails trek cross the sidewalk... Careful not to crush them... But those who are impostors in our neighbourhood, or those running to catch the train trod on them with narry a thought nor a glance... (until the giant CRUNCH!)
(side note:: take the time some morning to watch people walking their dogs through the area early... Not quite awake... Watch their faces as they start to step on snails... Whew! I laugh every time...)

So, in keeping with my rights of the pedestrian, and being an animal activist of sorts.. A snail activist that is, I want the sidewalks to be safe for ALL! Snails and humans alike. I've taken to removing the sidewalk snails (those who should have finished their trek before daylight) and placing them in the cool shade of the grass while I walk to work in the morning... Saving them from a fate worse than death... Wait no.. Saving them from death. Death by bird, death by foot, or death by fry. (Sidewalks get pretty hot in the sun, escargot is only good with butter... Not sidewalk grit)

Monday I had the day off, so I started my walk a few hours later than usual, the sun was already high in the sky, I counted four crushed snail casualties before I saw him... A lone snail in the middle of the sidewalk... Waiting for rescue, waiting for the cool refreshment of the grass... Waiting for Godot.
I swooped in for the rescue, and began the delicate process of moving Snailio... A slight tap usually gets them to let go of the ground, retreating into their shell so they can be lifted... I tapped, then tapped again, because snailio wasn't getting the point. I then lifted his little shell.. And horror of horrors!
I was too late...
Snailio was cooked to the sidewalk...
I removed his shell... And he was left, stuck and cooked, on the ground...


eww


gross.