Secret Agent Woman

I have a few passions in my life, things I hold in high regard. One of those things is the rights of the pedestrian.
I love to walk. If I knew my leg would last it, I'd walk Canada....
in a week.
(I walk fast)

As a result of this passion, I have a pet peeve. One that I'm sure you've heard, if ever we've been on a walk in town. I HATE things hanging over the sidewalk, or protruding from the lawn obstructing the sidewalk... I ABHOR your bushes. Sometimes, when I'm walking, I'll bend back the offending branch, breaking it so it hangs down, rather than in my face... Leaving in my wake shriveling leaves, creating an unsightly shrub in need of love...
There... I've said it, and I feel much better.

Yesterday I had a plan... and I carried it out.

It was no mistake that I walked to work yesterday afternoon... it was no mistake that I wore an innocent looking skirt.... it was no mistake at all... you see... no one suspects the innocent looking girl in the innocent looking skirt walking home after work at eleven... in fact, no one takes notice of her at all... now, if she'd been wearing a dark hoodie, or balclava or pantyhose.. well, then, then... she'd look suspicious.

You see, there's this group of bushes that line the sidewalk on my way to work, and over the past few years, they've been growing and reaching... now bullying their way over HALF of the sidewalk, narrowing it by a margin beyond acceptable. I've tried, in my walks, the bend and snap technique a few branches here and there several times over.. to no avail. So last night... I fixed them.
It took about three minutes, I bent and snapped and bent and snapped and bent and snapped. So the next time you walk unhindered down my street, smile and think of me.