Monday, February 13, 2012

I'm not mean, I'm awesome

*cue Law and Order type sound effects*

The following is a collection of things said to and around me at work on Sunday.
I may have said the "I'm not mean" thing to someone who was whining.

Enter Church Lady- oblivious to the topic of singledom that has been floating around this week.
Church Lady is wearing a well meaning sly smile. I know IMMEDIATELY what she is going to ask. Hemming and hawing, with a giggle she asks...
"Would you ever consider dating a younger guy? Now, I know they couldn't be too much younger, because you're already pretty young..." giggling nervously like she's the one asking me out, she grabs my arm, gives it a squeeze and dashes back to the other room after my patient and slow reply "I have in the past".

Apparently I've been wearing t-shirts and keeping my hair up in a pony tail far too often if she thinks her boys are near my age.

Moments later, I hear more giggling as she comes back into the kitchen....
"I should ask you this... do you like Jeeps or Junkers?"
I really shouldn't keep playing along, but I have to be honest, and thinking about a farm, answer... "I like them both"
Church Lady titters and flees the room again, only to turn around again and stand close to me as she asks "would you date a musician? or a cop? because the cop comes with the jeep, the musician has the junker..." I don't reply for a second... mostly in shock as I do the math and realize how young she must think I am ... or perhaps how desperate she thinks her boys are. Then there's the further pause as I decide weather to tell her I've sworn off musicians for the time being... Finally I respond with "I don't think I make that choice".

This must be what Church Lady is looking for, because as I turn and get something from the fridge, I find myself locked into the most awkward hug around my back and middle... the type that really excited moms give. She's still tittering and chattering like a pot on a stove as she leaves the room.

I'm blushing.
From embarrassment maybe? I'm not sure.
But I get back to making supper... and don't see her for the rest of the night.
From embarrassment maybe? I'm not sure.


Anonymous said...

Scariest potential future mother in law ever.


L.Bo Marie said...

best new blog post title, thanks r :)

Anonymous said...

This made me smile tonight! And I could see a church lady doing this. I always enjoy your writing!

Beth T.