Monday, February 13, 2012

I'm not mean, I'm awesome

*cue Law and Order type sound effects*

The following is a collection of things said to and around me at work on Sunday.
I may have said the "I'm not mean" thing to someone who was whining.

Enter Church Lady- oblivious to the topic of singledom that has been floating around this week.
Church Lady is wearing a well meaning sly smile. I know IMMEDIATELY what she is going to ask. Hemming and hawing, with a giggle she asks...
"Would you ever consider dating a younger guy? Now, I know they couldn't be too much younger, because you're already pretty young..." giggling nervously like she's the one asking me out, she grabs my arm, gives it a squeeze and dashes back to the other room after my patient and slow reply "I have in the past".

Apparently I've been wearing t-shirts and keeping my hair up in a pony tail far too often if she thinks her boys are near my age.

Moments later, I hear more giggling as she comes back into the kitchen....
"I should ask you this... do you like Jeeps or Junkers?"
I really shouldn't keep playing along, but I have to be honest, and thinking about a farm, answer... "I like them both"
Church Lady titters and flees the room again, only to turn around again and stand close to me as she asks "would you date a musician? or a cop? because the cop comes with the jeep, the musician has the junker..." I don't reply for a second... mostly in shock as I do the math and realize how young she must think I am ... or perhaps how desperate she thinks her boys are. Then there's the further pause as I decide weather to tell her I've sworn off musicians for the time being... Finally I respond with "I don't think I make that choice".

This must be what Church Lady is looking for, because as I turn and get something from the fridge, I find myself locked into the most awkward hug around my back and middle... the type that really excited moms give. She's still tittering and chattering like a pot on a stove as she leaves the room.

I'm blushing.
From embarrassment maybe? I'm not sure.
But I get back to making supper... and don't see her for the rest of the night.
From embarrassment maybe? I'm not sure.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Scariest potential future mother in law ever.

r

L.Bo Marie said...

best new blog post title, thanks r :)

Anonymous said...

This made me smile tonight! And I could see a church lady doing this. I always enjoy your writing!

Beth T.